"You're being spoiled... just give him a chance" Options

[angelrevelation]

(read below v) has anyone else felt like this? what do you think the reason was? (for not liking someone so deserving) because 'no connection' seems like a lame excuse...

one of my guy friends likes me. he has for a while now... but it's really awkward because he's like always trying to impress me, and it just comes off as annoying. we aren't close at all. i think the only reason he became my 'friend' was because he liked me.

now, everyone knows he likes me, and like my friends are trying to help him out and are sort of pressuring me to 'accept' him. i guess the idea of me finally getting a boyfriend is cute. and yes, i'm supposedly being spoiled and vain. but i'm not. it's not about looks. i've recently liked a guy 'less good looking' then him (everyone else thinks so... it doesn't matter!). i just don't like him because there's no connection.

but he's such a nice guy... and it makes me really sad that i cant like him back. i just get really irritated around him, no matter how hard i try to see the motives behind it.

[*Blow_Don't_SUCK*]

You just find the other more attractive. And the "no connection" isn't a lame excuse. Heck, it's more of a reason than an excuse. If you have no connection with someone then there's no relationship. Don't blame yourself.

[add1cted2f1re]

people think my current gf isn't "hot" but i love her, b/c we just CLICK... u know, there was also another "hotter" girl i could have gone out with b/c she liked me... i think... but i didnt like her, but i was too much of a coward and waited till she moved away to go out w. my gf

[Chii]

oh my god i know how that feels. this one guy i used to talk to kept saying all this sh*t about how conceited i was all the time, he should really get a damn dictionary. i told him i didn't want to hear anything or talk about my ex at all anymore. what does he do the next minute? tell me what my ex told him. then i b*tch at him then he goes "why are you so conceited?" what the f*ck kind of sense does that make?!?! my ex stalked me and called me many many times DAILY and the guy was all "you should be happy that he likes you so much, stop being so conceited!" who the f*ck would want someone to stalk them?? i was tired of his retarded logic so i blocked him

but anyway, this is stupid and annoying. just tell them that it's nice that they want you to have a boyfriend but you just don't like him. you are not being vain at all, your heart decides. if you say it's not there, it's really not. your friends don't know what's in your heart so they can't decide who you date.

tell him that you appreciate that he likes you so much but you're sorry, it's really not going to happen beacuse you truly, honestly feel that it's not there.

[Hiphop d[-_-]b]

Dont let your friends pressure you and make you feel bad. Youre not being spoiled or vain any way whatsoever. Your friends need to quit the immature peer pressure bullshit, cos they should understand if you dont like him, then you dont like him. You shouldnt even need to explain yourself. You cant force yourself to like someone that you just, simply dont. Tell your friends to quit being bad friends, and tell that guy youre really flatter but simply do not see him that way because there is not connection.

[AkiraKun]

Er.. how is that spoiled? It's better you not give him a chance since you don't like him.

[misoshiru]

You just find the other more attractive. And the "no connection" isn't a lame excuse. Heck, it's more of a reason than an excuse. If you have no connection with someone then there's no relationship. Don't blame yourself.

exactly. you can't force yourself to like a guy, and friends who pressure you to give in like that aren't true friends at all. if they were true friends, they'd understand why you won't go out with him. i say, don't give in, don't go out with him. why? 1) you'll be leading him on, and it's not fair for him or you, and 2) you don't like him, so why bother.

[_sarcastic_]

don't let your friends make you do something you don't want to, speak up they'll understand. but why don't you get to know that guy a little more

[o0olaalaa]

its not ur fault at all.
its your friends fault for trying to make u "accept" him
and you should just flat out tell him that you have no connection with him and hes annoying for trying to impress you. and stop it.

[angelrevelation]

thanks guys for all the advice i was thinking of talking to him, but i'm not sure when because we don't have any classes together. just lunch.

and i was also thinking of saying something like this-

"the valentine's gift was really sweet... and you were really brave for doing that. and you are such a great guy and everything but i don't really think that there could be anything between us. i'm still willing to give you a chance, but i don't want to do anything right now. we should just take things slowly."

confusing? too soft?

[dreamii]

i know how that feels, some of my guy friends used to like me, and after they tell me about it...i just get irritated and stop talking to them...i know its mean but i didnt know what to do and stuff...

about what you're about to say to him, he might think he might get a chance with you. ("i'm still willing to give you a chance, but i don't want to do anything right now. we should just take things slowly.") its like you're telling him to wait for you..however the part before was perfect in my opinion. if you dont think you are going to have a chance with him, cut the last part =p

[angelrevelation]

^ well i was kind of thinking... a chance as in 1 date, to see how it goes. cuz you never know if they act different when you're both alone you know?

[*swtcherriipie*]

Many times before this has happened to me

[LittleFlyingCow]

well that's kind of the situation I'm in right now...except my friends don't know teh guy at all and don't really like him all the much form what they do know of him.

The point is I used to like him, so I guess I kind of incuraged him a bit...inviting him to walk on the beach with me and all this stuff. So now he likes me...but I don't like him anymore. As a friend sure (which just makes it more complicated) but as a boyfriend no. Now I'm just waiting for him to ask me out so I get really tense around him...and I have no idea what I'll say if he does ask me. I know I'll say no...but how? I still want to be friends...and it's so weird because it was so obvious before that I liked him, so if I say no it'll be so...strange. It's like I flirted with him just too reject him? grrrrr...why do I have to make life so difficult for me? pfft.

[misoshiru]

^ well i was kind of thinking... a chance as in 1 date, to see how it goes. cuz you never know if they act different when you're both alone you know?

if you don't like him, then don't lead him on. it's that simple.

[dani41790]

Oh my gosh i'm going through the exact same thing. But anyways, if you feel there's not connection, then don't do it. Don't let yourself get pressured into doing things that you don't want to do. But yeah just do what you want to do, not what everyone else wants you to do.

[FoxBandCutie08]

You don't really control who you like, it's not your fault. Just try to be nice to him, but let him know how you feel.

[pinayprincess]

same HERE; last year i was going out with this one guy who treated me like shit!!! this was this one guy in my grade that liked me.. alot... everybody kept trying to encourage me to go out with me, but i was still
**in love with my bf [still w/ him] ; i broke up with him, then went out with the kid that liked me... i have to say i felt like i was in heaven! he treated me sooooooooo nice, til he dumped me like 3 times! we broke it off then i went back out with my old boyfriend [5months after we broke up the last time] -- yepp.. i guess you can say i played him.. but it was worth it; i mean for me and my current bf now... my ex and me are closer than ever [like bestfriends] & me and my boyfriend.. REALLY patched tihngs up

[*chaneun*]

Tell him that you don't like him. :)

[xosteffanator]

If you don't like him, have no interest, and like another guy tell him the truth; that you're just not interested and your sorry. Tell your friends to just BACK OFF! If they think he's so great why don't they hook up w/ him?!?!?!

[NgocQuyen]

awwh i was in the SAME boat last year...everyone thought i was a b*tch because i didn't like this guy and he liked me soo much...but yeah everytime he came around i just got really irritated and angry...just tell him straight up that you don't have any feelings for him and you don't want him waisting his time liking you...that's what i told the guy...lols i mean...i couldn't find ANY connection at all...so i told him...

[ichiban]

I am literally in the same exact situation. Everyone's all like, He's the nicest guy ever, you won't meet many of those, give him a chance, blah blah blah...etc. Tell your friends that you just don't feel that way towards him and no matter what they say it's not going to make you like him...

[*iNyCxShoRT*]

I know exactly how you feel. Don't let your friends pressure you into going out with him. If he's a nice guy tell him that, but also say that you think you guys should just be friends. Your friends are gonna go "BUT WHHHYYYYYY?" or "Why don't you like him?" well only you know for sure whether you like him or not, and that's that.

[short_dark_hair]

I agree with everyone above, but just one eety beety date won't hurt. But if you're friends are pressuring you, tell them to give you some space, even just a little. :]

[nightowl89]

not spoiled at all. its so much worse to go out with him knowing theres no connection. i wouldn't even say yes to one date if there's really NOTHING to go off of.

Suggestion? Try to set him up with a friend who mgiht connect with him better. Makes you look nice and caring. Plus the attention will be diverted away from you.