What makes a date a date? Options

[*mipadi*]

Maybe it's my relative lack of experience in the area of relationships, but there's a question that often nags at me: What makes a date a date? At first glance, this may seem like an easy answer; but it's one that seems to elude people I ask. Take, for example, these two different, yet similar, scenarios:

1. You notice a nice young member of the opposite sex with whom you go to school. You think it might be nice to take him/her out sometime—dinner, a movie, something along those lines. So you ask him/her to a movie. Is that a date or just a friendly outing, and why? How do you know? How do you make it clear one way or the other?
2. You are friends with a young member of the opposite sex. You hang out with each other on a semi-regular basis. You decide to ask him/her to a movie or dinner. Is that a date or just a friendly outing, and why? How do you know? How do you make it clear one way or the other?

[Levy2k6]

wow, i know it's a date when you say "let's go on a date"... other than that... i always think it's just hanging out.... but u could say it's a date.. it depends on the degree of the thing...


wow, that's sorta hard tho.

[dorkk-ie]

correct me if im wrong, but a date would be..

i guess..
just you and the "young member of the opposite sex" outing .

?

[NgocQuyen]

wow, thats kind of hard to decipher...haha hmmm
in situation number one...hmmm....it depends if you're interested in that person like THAT...you know what i'm saying? i mean i think that a date is with someone you have interest in. like you want to have some sort of relationship with that person, you know what i'm saying?
in situation number two...ughh same deal....

i just think that if you want it to be a date you have to say something on the lines of / or hint to that you like them and are interested in them

thats just..what i think...i'm not sure if that even makes sense..it sounded better in my head

[*not_your_average*]

In both situations, it all really depends on how you ask him or her. The question may seem to nag you, but I really don't think you should be thinking about it. Just asking a girl if you wanted to hang out sometime and continuing to "hang out" will eventually turn into dating. It doesn't really need to be said, it just kind of happens.

[Hiphop d[-_-]b]

Hmm .. good question.

I think its a date when you acknowledge the fact that it is a date, and not just a friendly outing.

[nightowl89]

Hmm....ive been on friendly outings with guyfriends which could have easily been called dates. But they weren't because...we didn't think of them that way? If you want the outing to be more romantic, take her to a nicer place, be gentelmanly, set the mood. Let her know somehow! Cuz chances are she may be wondering too...i am right now. Ive decided to count it as a "test date"

[SimplicityGirl]

A date is a date when both of you acknowledge it as a date.

It is not a date if he says its just "hanging out", he must specifically tell you its date.

This is what happened to me on MSN a while back:
Guy: Want to go out together to see a movie during spring break?
Me: sure
Guy: I won't call it a date...so..
Me: sure, just hanging out?
Guy: yup

Then a few days later
Guy: About the hanging out thing...
Me: yeah?
Guy: well...
Me: hmm mmm?
Guy: I really like you...so be my girlfriend please?
Me: *thinking: knew it all along* Sure thing
Guy:...and its a date
Me: sure ^^

So you see, it's only a date if it's mentioned by its name. If it's not, assume its hanging out.

[full:O:beans]

to me it's a date when you're out with just the other member of the opposite sex. Than again if you're really good friends but not bf and gf and you hang out together often than maybe not....depends on the kind of relationship you have I guess. I donno.

[_sarcastic_]

well i think a date is when you want it to be a date, that you actually mention "lets go out on a date" or something along those lines. other than that i probably would treat it as a friendly outing.

[KissMe2408]

I've had a lot of friendly outings or whatever you call it. Basically me and just one guy going to see a movie or going to a play or something. But we're just friends. You both have to acknowledge that it is a date. Otherwise it's just hanging out with a friend.

(1) The first example is just a friendly outing. It's a friendly outing because you don't necessarily have feelings for that person, and you don't know if that person has feelings for you. You are just hanging out. It would be different if you both talked about it being a date. It can be unclear at times, so usually if a guy asks me somewhere I ask if it's a date. I usually make sure it's not a date so he doesn't get the wrong idea. And most of the time the guy just wants my company and we laugh and hang out. You start to call it a date when there are feelings involved and you are "courting" one another, developing a romantic relationship that could lead into possible feelings of love. Dating is much more serious.
(2) For the second example the age doesn't really matter. Even the fact that you hang out on a semi-regular basis. Asking him/her to a movie would just be a friendly outgoing as well, unless you make your intentions clear that it is a date. Unless you want it to be a date, and that person agrees as well. Usually the best way to make it clear is open your mouth and say something about it lol.

It doesn't really have to be difficult.
It's just important to have yourself and the other person know what your intentions are. If you really are going on a "date" or if it just is a nice "outing".
And if you feel like it's a "date", I wouldn't call it that unless the other person knows that and feels the same.

Or to avoid all of this. Bring another person along to be the ackward third wheel.

Which is an entirely different subject.

[*mipadi*]

The thing about "calling it a date" is that, after a certain age, I think, you don't really ask "Will you go out with me?" or "Let's go out on a date?" You just ask to do something, and sometimes, it becomes kind of ambiguous. For example, about a year ago, I was interested in this girl. We hung out a bunch of times, went out a few times. It felt like dating, and I thought we were, but we never verbalized that. Eventually I got the impression we weren't, and we drifted apart. But apparently she thought of us as "dating", too.

[FoxBandCutie08]

I believe that a date is a planned outing with another person. Whether the person likes you or not is a totally different thing, I mean after all, anything can be a date. If you're talking relationship wise, then I would say going somewhere by yourselves and with more than friendly intentions with the other person, like you both are attracted to one another.

[nightowl89]

^ but how do you know that the other person is thinking about it as a date then if you don't verbalize it? im totally in this dillema right now but its too weird to ask him before whether he thinks its a date or not...im gonna just see what it feels like? I hate walking on fences

to make this less spammy, I think it is better to verbalize it. maybe saying it lightly in a flirty way would be good? In a romantic momnet, just say "hey...isn't this like a date?" If the other person laughs (genuinely) and says something like "yeah i guess so!" then good for you....if they freeze up and get a freaked out blank face...welllll.