i really want friends who believe in God, and im always jealous.. Options

[shesindreamland_...]

You know, I wish all my friends were Christian..and knew and loved God. I mean, right now my friends keep talking crap and hating this one girl who used to be friends with us, and theyre all like, Haha if she suicided i'd probably laugh. And all I can think is..shut UP youre nto supposed to HATE and gossip and act that way.. and i especially feel this way right now becuase ive been reading random people's xangas lately, and apparently this one guy had been in a serious accident and all of his friends, theyre all praying and saying stuff on each others xangas like, "Dont worry..hes in Gods hands.." and "God will hear every cry..just keep praying" and they even go to someones house everyday and just pray for the guy who had an accident. i mean.. to be praying with a group of best friends,getting close to God.. i WANT that feeling, you know? i dont even know why im still friends with some of the people im friends with, but it sjust that i have no one else.. Im Christian but I dont go to church cause my parents aren't, so its not like I get a ride or anything. And if barely any of my friends are Christian, its not like they can pick me up and take me since my parents cant. if i went to church then i would definitely have friends who believe in God and everything..but right now thats not really possible..

So yeah..ever feel this way..or something similar? and what should I do? =x

[Chii]

if you want something, then go after it. use your voice and tell your friends that it's horrible to act that way and say things like that about people.

tell your parents that you'd like to go to church and see what that's like. they'd probably take you or arrange for someone to take you if they can't.

you're not going to get anywhere with just hoping that things were different, you have to speak up.

[i_liek_sushi]

No offence, but that's the dumbest thing I've ever read around here. Why does your friend's religion matter to you so much?

[illumineering]

You don't have to be Christian to know and love God. You're supposed to accept everyone...right?

[angelrevelation]

No offence, but that's the dumbest thing I've ever read around here. Why does your friend's religion matter to you so much?

i don't think it's exactly the religion as much... but just that they're really... heartless

why don't you try to make friends outside of your circle?

[KissMe2408]

Ultimately it's your decision who you are friends with. You should go out and make more Christian friends or better friends in general.

But let me tell you something.
I went to a Christian school for a long time, and those girls who claimed to be Christian were just as snotty and mean as anyone else. A lot of people claim they are "christian" but keep God in a box and don't let him really in their life, you know? You gotta be careful who you are friends with in general. Whether they say they are christian or not. There are a lot of fake people out there, even in the church. Same goes for when you are dating. Not all christian guys are little angels, you know what i mean. Most of the christian guys i dated respected me even less then the non-christian guys. You just have to be careful.

I'm glad that you want to experience this with your friends and all, it's a good thing. Not a bad thing. I would urge you to try going to your youth group and finding friends there. Also, look up "acquire the fire" online, i think you would enjoy going there. It's where thousands of kids get together to praise God and support each other. Whole youth groups go together, so why don't you talk to yours and see if they go or would like to. And about getting to church, i would atleast ASK your parents, I mean you are kinda assuming that they won't be able to take you. Just ask them. If not, i'm sure you can get a ride from someone else.

[misoshiru]

^ ah i had that experience too, after being in a christian school for 8 years.

i think it's your decision on what you want to do. like chii said, if you really want to go to church that much, tell your parents. you have to speak up. if you don't think that your friends mocking another girl is right, speak up.

[i_liek_sushi]

i don't think it's exactly the religion as much...  but just that they're really...  heartless 

why don't you try to make friends outside of your circle?

was that last comment for me or her?

I have friends who are muslim, christian, jewish, hindu, buddhist, atheist, whatever... it doesn't make any difference.

[Kounouri]

death brings out the god in people.

[sharpandcuddly]

yea well i dont agree with the needing friends to love god like you do, because some people dont believe..
but, i dont think you should abandon your friends: you should say "hey, i dont think thats right" and change the subject, and get a few more-like-you friends.

but muslims love "allah" (god), jews love god, catholics love god, protestants love god, so dont just look for christians. different views make more rounded people.

[yummy_delight]

I can empathize with you. I used to feel the same way. I used to have a best friend who I hung out with everyday and she made me feel like my religion was stupid. I desperately wanted friends who were Christian that I could praise God with. (Overall, she was just a hateful spiteful person. All my other friends aren't like that I'm just using her as the example because she was the one I spent the most time with.)

I think the most important thing you have to do is not judge your present friends by their religion. Just because someone isn't a Christian DOES NOT mean that he or she is a bad person. If you love them and they are good to you, don't stop being friends with them because they don't have the same beliefs as you. It is absolutely possible for you to have a very diverse and loving group of friends.

Do you have a Christian club at your school? I discovered that Youth Alive (the Christian club at my school) was a great place to meet people who have the same passion as I do. I'm sure you could also find people that can invite you to their church, as well.

[Hiphop d[-_-]b]

I can empathize with you. I used to feel the same way. I used to have a best friend who I hung out with everyday and she made me feel like my religion was stupid. I desperately wanted friends who were Christian that I could praise God with. (Overall, she was just a hateful spiteful person. All my other friends aren't like that I'm just using her as the example because she was the one I spent the most time with.)

I think the most important thing you have to do is not judge your present friends by their religion. Just because someone isn't a Christian DOES NOT mean that he or she is a bad person. If you love them and they are good to you, don't stop being friends with them because they don't have the same beliefs as you. It is absolutely possible for you to have a very diverse and loving group of friends.

Do you have a Christian club at your school? I discovered that Youth Alive (the Christian club at my school) was a great place to meet people who have the same passion as I do. I'm sure you could also find people that can invite you to their church, as well.

Yupp. If you think Christianity is the only way to have good friends, then enjoy yourself in your ignorance. Go to a Christian Youth Group near your house you can walk to if you want Christian friends so bad.

But if the thing that is bothering you is the way they act, say something. Dont blame it on their religion not being the same as yours

[Gigi]

Well, I don't really think this is a matter of religion or believing in God. To make friends based on their religion is closed-minded, isn't it? All of my closest friends are not devout Christians, or Christian or even religious at all, but none of them are like that. Don't just assume that people who don't believe in God are bad, and that you have to have friends that believe in God. It's more important to look at the person inside.

[redpeony]

I think you guys are being a bit too harsh on her because I'm sure she didn't really mean it that way, as in she only wants friends based on religion.

I know how she feels; It's not that she thinks non-Christians are bad people.. but maybe It's that common ground that lets her feel more connected with them, you know? Many friendships these days are completely based on superficiality, and I know first hand that It's hard to find a quality friendship where people don't feel the need to gossip, always talk about meaningless things. Sometimes I feel out of place with people like that. I'm not in any way saying that It's non-Christians are all like that, and all Christians are the greatest of friends... because I know some Christians who are half-hearted and not the kindest of people. But based on experience, I've found that It's just easier sometimes to connect with people who have the same set of values as you. This goes for non-religious people too, no?

It was a bit of a generalization on her part, and maybe it is on mine too.. but I'm just pointing out that I don't think she's trying to sound judgmental or anything.. she just wants a certain bond, and believes this is the way to find it. (tell me if I'm wrong =p.)

[*Blow_Don't_SUCK*]

Wow another one of those converters.

eeesh


Your friend's behavior doesn't have anything to do with believing in God. You can be extremely kind and yet not a Christian. And if you think they should stop being so mean just tell them. It doesn't take someone's coversion to just be nice.

But if you want to be around more Christians, there's this group called Youth For Christ where a bunch of friendly teenagers get closer to God. They're very friendly and they're not geeky or anything. I used to be in that group but I quit since I didn't feel like worshipping.

[illumineering]

I think you guys are being a bit too harsh on her because I'm sure she didn't really mean it that way, as in she only wants friends based on religion.

I know how she feels; It's not that she thinks non-Christians are bad people.. but maybe It's that common ground that lets her feel more connected with them, you know? Many friendships these days are completely based on superficiality, and I know first hand that It's hard to find a quality friendship where people don't feel the need to gossip, always talk about meaningless things. Sometimes I feel out of place with people like that. I'm not in any way saying that It's non-Christians are all like that, and all Christians are the greatest of friends... because I know some Christians who are half-hearted and not the kindest of people. But based on experience, I've found that It's just easier sometimes to connect with people who have the same set of values as you. This goes for non-religious people too, no?

It was a bit of a generalization on her part, and maybe it is on mine too.. but I'm just pointing out that I don't think she's trying to sound judgmental or anything.. she just wants a certain bond, and believes this is the way to find it. (tell me if I'm wrong =p.)

What is going to fundamentally change when she couldn't/wouldn't speak up when her "friends" were talking about the girl who used to be friends with them? Saying she wants to hang out with "Christians" isn't going to change the fact she doesn't even speak up on behalf of her "friend" who is possibly contemplating suicide. Having a group of friends who say they are Christian is useless if they do not use those principles of faith to guide their behavior/actions with the rest of the world. She needs to be the things she desires. That's not going to happen when she doesn't even support her own friend. The opportunity to live the example of the random Xangas is in her hand and she's ignoring it.

[*mipadi*]

What is going to fundamentally change when she couldn't/wouldn't speak up when her "friends" were talking about the girl who used to be friends with them?  Saying she wants to hang out with "Christians" isn't going to change the fact she doesn't even speak up on behalf of her "friend" who is possibly contemplating suicide.  Having a group of friends who say they are Christian is useless if they do not use those principles of faith to guide their behavior/actions with the rest of the world.  She needs to be the things she desires.  That's not going to happen when she doesn't even support her own friend.  The opportunity to live the example of the random Xangas is in her hand and she's ignoring it.

In your haste to be critical, I think you are missing her core desire: she wants to have friends with whom she can discuss her relationship with God. It's hard to discuss such a relationship with friends who don't share the same belief in the Christian God, or don't feel the same sort of connection. Her disgust with her friends' behavior is not why she realized her desire to have Christian friends, but merely the catalyst that awakened the desire within her.

[illumineering]

In your haste to be critical, I think you are missing her core desire: she wants to have friends with whom she can discuss her relationship with God. It's hard to discuss such a relationship with friends who don't share the same belief in the Christian God, or don't feel the same sort of connection. Her disgust with her friends' behavior is not why she realized her desire to have Christian friends, but merely the catalyst that awakened the desire within her.

In your haste to judge my post, you missed my core point. Be the beliefs you espouse. Actions guided by Christian principles will do more to draw the types of friends she desires.

[xforgottenlove]

mmm i use to feel that way too cuhz i thought i was the only person out of my group of friends who was christian. but then i joined this club called CYF (Christian Youth Fellowship) at my school and the people in there are christians and they're really supportive of me. they understand that i can't go to church since my parents aren't christians and i also have no ride there.

ALSO like many other people said, i've realized that many people who are not christians are also very nice people, even if they don't believe in God.

[DORKalicious]

their only human you know, just try to have a little more patience with them

[*This Confession*]

You don't have to be Christian to know and love God. You're supposed to accept everyone...right?

yea
and people come around
sounds like your friends are rather immature
use your voice
and voice out your opinion on things
if they don't accept them and understand them
then go talk to other people
theres plenty of people that should understand you

[priyas]

My Response:

People who dont believe in God are not necesarily mean people. Actions define who a person is. I have a friend who does not believe in God and she is one of the most sweetest people ever. SHe never gossips about everyone. I know people who are really mean and bitchy and they are religious. SO yeah.

My Advice:

Join a Christian Club. Or some sort of religious club. Join a religious forum on some website.

[starlette]

I think some yall are being a bit rude. I mean shes not say I hate people who arent Christians and I wanna convert them, she just wishes she had the religious support that other people online have ie the jealousy. I totally feel for you. I'va always had that conflict. The only Christian friends I have are all gone off to college now, and though I love all of my friends, I sometimes wish we could connect on that level. I never judge my friends, in fact I love them all equally, but theres a big difference with how people relate to you. Its hard cuz when I say something like "God has blessed me so much because he did this bla bla bla" all my friends just look at me like I'm an idiot, because all the people I hang out with but 3 aren't religious at all. So its difficult to talk to them because they can't relate. The best thing to do is join like Fellowship of Christian Athletes, or start a bible study at your school. A girl I knew was alarmed at the amount of teen pregnancies and hootchie mamas at our school so she started a bible study and movie nite for the girls at our school to help pull the girls away from the negativity. IT was really amazing. So you could try things like that. And also, gossip and hate go away with age usually. Continue to love your friends, but I'd recommend setting out to find some you have that in common with. And don't let these rude people offend you, because they aren't reading really into what you said. All they see is Christian and friends that arent and they act like youre some closed mind freak. But I see that you aren't.