despratley in need for advice |
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 Jan 13 2006, 10:32 PM
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#1
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 Senior Member  Group: Member Posts: 170 Joined: Jan 2006 Member No: 351,851  |
Ok well my dance show was a couple days ago and my "best friend" didnt make it. She tells me that she couldn't take off work cause her mom wouldn't let her cause her job needs people on fridays. Well I kno for a fact that she has never taken a day off from her job since this summer and they would never fire her now cause ppl are dropping like flies, and her mother is pretty nice about this stuff. I feel like she didnt really make much of an effort to show up at my show, or really didnt care. This is prob. the last show I'll ever do this year and she couldnt even make it... Am I overreacting? Because honestly If she were in my shoes I would do anything to make it to her last show. Please I need advice. I have so much steam right now.
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Jan 13 2006, 10:33 PM
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#2
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 show me a garden thats bursting to life Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 12,303 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 115,987 |
moved to relationships
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| *Programmer* |
Jan 13 2006, 10:38 PM
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#3
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Guest |
best bet would be...your best friend doesn't have the same instrests as you do....and she'd rather be making money... then come watch you dance at a dance show...which shows she is maturing....thinking about her financial issues...it might seem kinda of cold...that im telling you this.... best bet would be..confront her about it...and ask her if she has any intrest in what your doing... be blunt... it's the only way your going to get the real awnser from her.
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Jan 13 2006, 10:46 PM
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#4
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 »»»»»»»»»»» Group: Member Posts: 557 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 72,261 |
Your best friend doesn't like your pathetic shows. She thinks you suck and it's probably the biggest waste of time in her life.
Go get a boy friend. |
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Jan 14 2006, 03:12 AM
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#5
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 Cockadoodledoo Mother Fcuka!!! Group: Member Posts: 1,438 Joined: Nov 2005 Member No: 296,088 |
fcuk her!
obviously she dosn't have tou on her high priorities list so i suggest u distance urself and try to form some new friendships. dont break ties altogether, just try to stop thinking of her as ur bestfriend!!! |
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Jan 14 2006, 05:46 AM
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#6
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 Yawn Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 9,530 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 65,772 |
Well, you said your best friend never has missed work before. In that case, I don't think she'd jump at the chance of skipping. And if they are firing people a lot lately, then she probably wants to keep her job by doing a good job and showing up when she's supposed to.
I'm sure she's sorry about missing your show. I'm not sure if she is into dance shows, but i'm sure she would of wanted to see you. She just had previous commitments. You should respect that. I don't think she really had a choice here, but if you are so wound up about it and if she is your best friend, then you should probably talk to her about it instead of keeping this from her. As for your dance show, I hope it went well. Dance is important to me, so I know how big a show is. (I also know how important it is to have people there supporting you) But I also know how important work is, and you should be proud of her for being responsible and going to work when she should. Because most of my friends skip all the time. So talk to her about it. cool off first, and then talk to her. But I really suggest you think about this whole situation first. Hope things work out |
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Jan 14 2006, 10:09 AM
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#7
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 170 Joined: Jan 2006 Member No: 351,851 |
QUOTE(Kristinaa @ Jan 13 2006, 10:33 PM) moved to relationships  QUOTE(Programmer @ Jan 13 2006, 10:38 PM) best bet would be...your best friend doesn't have the same instrests as you do....and she'd rather be making money... then come watch you dance at a dance show...which shows she is maturing....thinking about her financial issues...it might seem kinda of cold...that im telling you this.... best bet would be..confront her about it...and ask her if she has any intrest in what your doing... be blunt... it's the only way your going to get the real awnser from her. I am going to confront her about this as soon as I can. But it's not like she doesn't need the money. And even if she weren't intrested in dance I'd still expect her to show up since she is my "best friend". If she were doing her last baseball game (and i absolutley hate baseball) I would attend it. QUOTE(i_liek_sushi @ Jan 13 2006, 10:46 PM) Your best friend doesn't like your pathetic shows. She thinks you suck and it's probably the biggest waste of time in her life. Go get a boy friend. um k. QUOTE(vash1530 @ Jan 14 2006, 3:12 AM) fcuk her! obviously she dosn't have tou on her high priorities list so i suggest u distance urself and try to form some new friendships. dont break ties altogether, just try to stop thinking of her as ur bestfriend!!! Yea maybe... i just need to talk things out with her first. Im not gonna break it off completely because she wasnt at a show.. its the fact that it was something really important to me. QUOTE(KissMe2408 @ Jan 14 2006, 5:46 AM) Well, you said your best friend never has missed work before. In that case, I don't think she'd jump at the chance of skipping. And if they are firing people a lot lately, then she probably wants to keep her job by doing a good job and showing up when she's supposed to. I'm sure she's sorry about missing your show. I'm not sure if she is into dance shows, but i'm sure she would of wanted to see you. She just had previous commitments. You should respect that. I don't think she really had a choice here, but if you are so wound up about it and if she is your best friend, then you should probably talk to her about it instead of keeping this from her. As for your dance show, I hope it went well. Dance is important to me, so I know how big a show is. (I also know how important it is to have people there supporting you) But I also know how important work is, and you should be proud of her for being responsible and going to work when she should. Because most of my friends skip all the time. So talk to her about it. cool off first, and then talk to her. But I really suggest you think about this whole situation first. Hope things work out Thank you I think that ur advice helped me the most. I'm def. talking to her soon, i'm some what cooled off, and hopefully things will work out. I hope i'm not making something small into a big issue. |
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Jan 14 2006, 12:42 PM
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#8
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 Bay Area YadadaDiiiig. Group: Official Member Posts: 4,249 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 103,202 |
QUOTE(KissMe2408 @ Jan 14 2006, 3:46 AM) Well, you said your best friend never has missed work before. In that case, I don't think she'd jump at the chance of skipping. And if they are firing people a lot lately, then she probably wants to keep her job by doing a good job and showing up when she's supposed to. I'm sure she's sorry about missing your show. I'm not sure if she is into dance shows, but i'm sure she would of wanted to see you. She just had previous commitments. You should respect that. I don't think she really had a choice here, but if you are so wound up about it and if she is your best friend, then you should probably talk to her about it instead of keeping this from her. As for your dance show, I hope it went well. Dance is important to me, so I know how big a show is. (I also know how important it is to have people there supporting you) But I also know how important work is, and you should be proud of her for being responsible and going to work when she should. Because most of my friends skip all the time. So talk to her about it. cool off first, and then talk to her. But I really suggest you think about this whole situation first. Hope things work out Agreed. I think that she just wanted to keep working hard so they wouldnt fire her. Its nothing to be upset over. But talk to her, and tell her that it did upset you. Work it out. |
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Jan 14 2006, 05:50 PM
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#9
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 I love Havasupai Group: Member Posts: 1,040 Joined: Jul 2005 Member No: 163,878 |
I wouldn't go either. Since you would bend over backwards to go to her show (hypothetically), does not obligate her to do the same in turn. Your response to her non-participation/attendance shows a very strong need for control that is not appropriate. Maybe she just didn't feel like it. Drop this trivial issue before you end up loosing the relationship completely. You're being immature about the whole thing.
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Jan 14 2006, 06:41 PM
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#10
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 Dragonfly_babe Group: Member Posts: 274 Joined: Dec 2005 Member No: 337,380 |
I think you are overreacting a bit. Does she always skip your shows or was it this 1 time? If u really are her best friend u should know that she wouldn't do something to hurt your feelings intentionally. It is a bit selfish to expect people to just come running to you whenever you want. She probably was scared that if she had not shown uo to work she would be fired. I'm sure you mean a lot to her and doesn't realize how much she hurt you.
Think about it as strongly as you feel about dancing she probably feels just as strongly about her own resonsibilities. You should really talk to her and tell her that you were hurt and I'm sure she could do something to make it up to you. |
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Jan 14 2006, 08:10 PM
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#11
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c[: Group: Member Posts: 2,302 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 2,876 |
lols it may seem that you're overreacting..i mean i know she's your best friend and you really wanted her to make it to your show, but if the girl says she can't then she can't right? but if its bothering you that much then why don't you talk to her about it. just say that you felt that she wasn't making an effort to make it to your last show and ask her if she was feeling that way. you know what i'm saying? if she was a true friend she would calmly talk about it with you. but, if she's one of those girls that really don't care she would get all offensive and what not and therefore she doesn't deserve you as a friend.
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Jan 14 2006, 10:28 PM
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#12
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 170 Joined: Jan 2006 Member No: 351,851 |
thanks u 3 i never looked at it like that. Well I did talk to her and she did want to come but i guess her mom didnt allow her. Not her fault. I was just pissed cause i love dancing and showing it off to my friends and family is what i dance for. It was just really important to me. Oh wellz hopefully theres more show ahead.
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Jan 14 2006, 10:44 PM
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#13
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 Brand New Colony Group: Member Posts: 100 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 52,078 |
[nevermindme]
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Jan 15 2006, 01:23 PM
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#14
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 Band Geek. Group: Member Posts: 366 Joined: Jan 2006 Member No: 341,494 |
I think that she either didn't realize how much it meant to you, or she just isn't that interested in it. I'm sorry, but either way she doesn't sound like the greatest friend.
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Jan 15 2006, 08:02 PM
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#15
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I love Havasupai Group: Member Posts: 1,040 Joined: Jul 2005 Member No: 163,878 |
QUOTE(Dance_like_poetry @ Jan 14 2006, 11:28 PM) thanks u 3 i never looked at it like that. Well I did talk to her and she did want to come but i guess her mom didnt allow her. Not her fault. I was just pissed cause i love dancing and showing it off to my friends and family is what i dance for. It was just really important to me. Oh wellz hopefully theres more show ahead. Good for you! I'm glad everything worked out! |
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