Strong Love, short poem not finished yet? |
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 Jan 8 2006, 11:14 AM
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#1
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 Call me C.Annie  Group: Member Posts: 366 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 115,994  |
C&C welcome
So she sits and listens to a sorrowful song and it reminds herself that everyones gone theres no one to cry to and just one to love so she crys at night and sings to above and she sings God help me I think Im in love but I cant help it hes all I think of theres something wrong but I have to have to stay strong |
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Jan 8 2006, 12:40 PM
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#2
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 My desperate heart is far too weak to run for you this long. Group: Member Posts: 640 Joined: Jun 2005 Member No: 150,342 |
Well, I like it, but it doesn't really stand out to me.
Although I do love the first two lines especially. |
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Jan 9 2006, 02:00 AM
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#3
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 I'd rather make mistakes than break. Group: Member Posts: 121 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 117,869 |
I like the consistent rhyme, and even though the concept of love in poetry has become cliche and overused, I emotion felt really authentic for once.
xoxo Aly |
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