Unsure where this is going.., any inputs or advice would make me :) Options

[seremela_culnamo]

Yes, it's me again..with my huge crush over Dean.

Anyway, I have no clue what's going on between us. This thing has been going on ever since the beginning of the school year and he found out sometime in October, that I had feelings for him. Nothing really has happened but for the past 2 days, we had to see one another, since we are in the same movie production for writer's craft.

Day 1 - Thursday:
I was extremely excited since he was coming over to my house, and that would make him the first guy ever (our age anyway) to come over, that's not a family friend's son of mines. Everyone was suppose to come around 3, but just before it, my best friend, Chloe, told me that she couldn't come for another 30 minutes. Then laughed at me as I freaked out since that would only mean Dean, Rex, and I alone at my house since everyone in the family was out. It got worse since we weren't even sure if Rex was coming since he had work. Well it turns out it was only Dean so it was a bit akward, but we both don't show it..much. Lol. He's such a gentleman. He doesn't come in unless he's told to. Anyway, the first thing he says is, "you look nice today" with a smile. I shyly smile back..blablabla..the day continues...We walk to McDonalds to find Rex. Chloe was walking up front, while Dean stayed behind to walk with me, since I'm terrified of walking on ice. So he kept on saying that I shouldn't worry, that if I fall, he would catch me. We get there, they ate some stuff, and we walked back to my house. That's when Dean found it funny if he started teasing me, by nudging me, to make me fall or something. I know he wouldn't let me fall, but meh, he was having fun. At one point, I almost fell over so I grabbed onto his shoulder. He then puts his arm around my waist, hugging me close and asking if I was alright. I was, but he had his arm around for awhile, and then yea..I guess he noticed it was a bit akward for the both of us, especially when Chloe turned around, smiled really hard, and turned away to cover herself from laughing. Not much happened for the rest of the day, except for us two nudging one another all the way back home, him wanting to stay for dinner but his dad wanted him home to decorate the house for his sibling's birthday the next day, us two playing [not really flirting] and before leaving, telling me he had a great day, what a great person i was out of nowhere and such. Oh dear. My family teased me for the rest of day and I'm not even going out with him!

Day Two - Friday:
Got an unexpected call from him - told me that he would drive me to Chloe's house to film, after we pick up Rex from a mall. Stupid silbings. Teased me until he came. Anyway, we get to her house eventually and we filmed. Not much happened. Except for him poking and touching me occasionally and at times, we ended up standing so close in front of one another. Thank goodness he's taller so we didn't have to look at one another. Lol. He didn't seem to like the part where Rex drags me under the bed [its a scary movie], especially having to do it 4 times to get it right. Seemed a bit like jealously, but I wasn't sure. Anyway, later on in the day, we had to do some car scenes. He was driving his truck, and Rex and I had to be in the back, in the opening. Rex didn't come but Dean made him since he was scared that while I filmed, I would fall out. Not good >< Well since I'm not that tall, Dean comes up behind me and lifts me up onto the back. My entire hand was numb and red from the wind, so when we finally stopped, after a huge cresent, I gave the camera to Rex and made to get off, while I was still wearing Dean's glove. He hurried around so I gave it back, but he gave it back and lifted me down. It was a bit akward, but he gave me a small hug and I gave a small one in return. Then we hurried back to those house since the camera ran out of batteries. The next scene, it was the other 3, but I wanted to watch. So I went outside, with Dean's glove, and he follows. So there we were, on the doorstep, watching the other 3 prepare. Dean hugs me close and told me he would warm me up, since I was still freezing from the car scene. But it was really my hands that were frozen so he takes them, and warms them up, apologizing that his hands weren't exactly warm either. But it continued long enough for us to be warm. Then we made to go in, since the camera was totally dead, and it was akward how Dean and I clung onto one anothers hand all the way in, only to break apart when Chloe's mother saw us and the rest were coming in. Not much happened after that since there was no point of filming till another day. He simply carried my stuff even though I didn't need help and such. Funny how Chloe didn't see a thing except for his hand always on my back whenever I'm walking in front of him or something. When her sister seemed to notice something was up.

I have no clue what's going on. A lot of people are happy about what happened, while a good friend said that it seems like he's starting to have feelings for me, too. Argh, help. & she told me I should ask him. I might next week when we meet again for the rest of the filming, then again, it depends on how it goes. I might just blurt it out when we aren't in the scene when everyone else is.

[*digital.fragrance*]

No - definitely don't blurt it out. You like him, right? Well it seems that he is taking the agressive stance at this point.. taking charge in a sort of way. At least from what you are saying, he is "initiatiing" the flirting. Let him continue doing that. Trust me, guys like that better in the long run. (your relationship will last longer)

Next week, definitely continue returning the filirting... a lot- that doesn't hurt at all ! The fact that he was already hugging you, touching you, nudging you, holding your hands (and realized what he was doing because he stopped as soon as he saw a parent), and teasing you (in the space of 2 days!)- my guess is that if this continues, he'll ask you out in AT LEAST a month. Probably next week.

You seem to have some good osbervation skills - your family and friends thank he likes you too. Man, I always decieved myself into thinking someone liked me. But hey, I have a boyfriend now, so understand things.

Lucky girl! I'm rooting for you!

[anoniez]

^agreed. hahah all that stuff going on.. it seems pretty obvious to me that hes getting interested =p

[Dragonfly_babe]

awww That's so cute! I think he likes you you should just see if he continues acting like this way for like the next couple of days....if he still does than u should tell him u like him

[PO0PO0x3]

NO! dont blurt it out! dont tell him you like him. Im sure he would tell you first by the ways he's acting so caring and protective. or maybe let it come nacturally if your afraid to tell him, dont. Thats what i did before my boyfriend asked me out.
he was acting kind of wierd too. But now that he has some ideas about you having a crush on you, go with the flow and let the boy guide you along. DONT ASK HIM! LET HIM ASK YOU!

[seremela_culnamo]

Ohh, he knew that I liked him a long time ago. But he never gave up on me or anything, even though I used to ignore him and stuff. I don't do that anymore. & I'm lucky that he's still here, since a girl used to like him and she ignored him and stuff. Although they are friends, they aren't friends anymore. But for me, he never gave up and tried to make things good between us.

Well a week or two before the break, I didn't ignore him, but I paid less attention to him. In some ways, played hard to get a bit. That's when these things started happening, and now, for the past two days, that's how things have been.

People think I should take a chance. Like ask him what state we are in right now..or if he likes me back and stuff. I guess I should take a chance, but I don't know how to ask him. Should I?

[Dragonfly_babe]

I think that he should ask u first but maybe he's reluctant to because of what happened 2 him with that other girl. Aaw but so so cute a new years romance lucky u!

[cuul_gurl]

this has happened to me also..he used to flirt around a lot...and said things which meant he was serious about our relationship, but something went missing..and so the tragedy being that, after knowing him for 4 years, he's getting married to another girl who is so much like me- we share our name, we share our birthday, and we both can sing and cook well, but she's a couple of years older to me.
Ur guy is definitely interested in u, just give it some time, flirt back..and keep ur fingers crossed! Hope u guys get together..u seem to b a really cute couple!
ALL THE BEST!

[*lil_chubby_cheeks2*]

No - definitely don't blurt it out.  You like him, right?  Well it seems that he is taking the agressive stance at this point.. taking charge in a sort of way.  At least from what you are saying, he is "initiatiing" the flirting.  Let him continue doing that.  Trust me, guys like that better in the long run.  (your relationship will last longer)

Next week, definitely continue returning the filirting... a lot- that doesn't hurt at all !  The fact that he was already hugging you, touching you, nudging you, holding your hands (and realized what he was doing because he stopped as soon as he saw a parent), and teasing you (in the space of 2 days!)- my guess is that if this continues, he'll ask you out in AT LEAST a month.  Probably next week. 

You seem to have some good osbervation skills - your family and friends thank he likes you too.  Man, I always decieved myself into thinking someone liked me.  But hey, I have a boyfriend now, so understand things.

Lucky girl!  I'm rooting for you!

^agree



just, you know, go along with it

[seremela_culnamo]

Yes. I have finally decided. I will see how tomorrow goes if we are filming the rest of the movie =] It depends on whether or not he still acts the same way. I hope he does though. =P Then I will decide on what to do about it. Hmm, I will definately be updating this post if anything happens, okay?

Haha. Funny. I was just thinking of what happened on Friday last night before I turned in for the day. I realized that we didn't hold hands. Instead, it was more like..you know how people cling onto one another? So rather than holding hands, it's like they slip their fingers between the others and hold their hands that way? Yea. I just realized that we were like clinging onto one anothers' hand instead. Doesn't mean more than to just holding, does it?

& the thing is, he's nice to everyone. I don't think he does that to all girls because I have never seen him act like this towards other girls at all. Around me, he treats me differently, even before he found out I like him. But it wasn't really until the last week of school before the break did I start noticing that he was around more. Like in the mornings, we both have spares. He never comes early so it's usually my best friend and I. But he started coming early during that week and spent the time with us, even if he's bored..I stopped asking him why he came early each time though, since I didn't want it to sound like I didn't like him being there. & he has bailed out on my friends and I before, for good reasons or simply he forgot or something. Meh. This was all before it happened though. But now he remembers if he forgets to do something and calls to apologize.

Thank-you for everyone who's supporting me along the way. I really appreciate it.

- seremela_culnamo.

p.s. cuul_gurl I'm really sorry to hear what happened with you and the dude =[ I hope he realizes that you're the one for him before he marries the girl, that is, if you will still want him if that happens.

& yes. a lot of people think we make a cute couple. lol. no clue. but when they see us together, they just say that. well to me anyway..the friends that know. lol. two of them said that they could tell that i liked him all along once i told them who i liked..just from the way i smiled and looked at him..well, on days when i wasn't depressed anyways =P

[FoxBandCutie08]

It sounds like he's either a really really nice guy, or he's into you. Could be both. I think you should keep flirting/hanging out until he gets the courage to say something to you, or maybe you should make the first move, if you feel that strongly about him. Whatever you choose, good luck!

[cuul_gurl]

thanks a ton seremela_culnamo ....i am touched! All that is happening is for our good. Here in India, once u've made a commitment, u cannot turn back..so there's no undoing this one. Its ok. I'll get someone better! Since i'm still friends with him and his family, i have no regrets!
All da best to u!

[seremela_culnamo]

We're going to film tomorrow :]

Hmm, what should I do? I don't want to ask him out or anything, but at the same time, I want to hang out with him without having to ask him directly.

I have to go to the movies to spend a ticket by the end of this month & I know he's free tomorrow. Should I call him and ask him to give me a drive tomorrow to my friends house? & then probably to the movie theatres perhaps (when we are going home). Then mention that I will be going alone or something because I can't find anyone (which is true).

Should I?

Help!

[NgocQuyen]

We're going to film tomorrow :]

Hmm, what should I do? I don't want to ask him out or anything, but at the same time, I want to hang out with him without having to ask him directly.

I have to go to the movies to spend a ticket by the end of this month & I know he's free tomorrow. Should I call him and ask him to give me a drive tomorrow to my friends house? & then probably to the movie theatres perhaps (when we are going home). Then mention that I will be going alone or something because I can't find anyone (which is true).

Should I?

Help!

i think he might have feelings for you...i mean what guy does that unless he likes a girl right? lols...and cheaaaa i think you should call him and ask him if he wants to go to the movies with youuuu....forget your friend! it could be the perfect chance to see if anything would happen and to ask him if he feels that way towards you...
thats just what i think..hehe GOOD LUCK!!!
by the way...that story is so freaking cute... awwheee...=*)

[seremela_culnamo]

i think he might have feelings for you...i mean what guy does that unless he likes a girl right? lols...and cheaaaa i think you should call him and ask him if he wants to go to the movies with youuuu....forget your friend! it could be the perfect chance to see if anything would happen and to ask him if he feels that way towards you... 
thats just what i think..hehe GOOD LUCK!!!
by the way...that story is so freaking cute... awwheee...=*)

Hehe. Thanks. I think it's cute, too. & it will be awesome if he feels the same way :]

Well I was planning to give him a call later on in the day..Then probably mention about the movie thing. I was going to ask him at noon, when he called to tell me that our other friend, Josh, he couldn't come. So it was only my best friend, him & I filming the rest of the movie. But I was still half-asleep. Lol. Yes, I just woke up since I sleep in over the break =P

Anyway, he called again during lunch. Around 1 or something. & he like..told me he will pick me up tomorrow. Then he askes me if I want one. Lol. Well sure thing, right? :] I should've asked him about the movies then, but my mom and sibling was there, and since they believe I have a thing with Dean already, I couldn't ask him right in front of him. So should I mention it to him tomorrow or call him later and ask if he can drop me off at the movies? And how should I ask by avoiding any akwardness and like mention it to him in the sense that I'm not asking him directly? I hope you get what I mean.

I'm just really unsure because what if he doesn't feel the same way towards me? Or even if he started to feel the same way, I don't want to freak him out. & last but not least, I have never ever asked a guy out in life. Even as a friend thing. Well except for one, but we've known one another for like 7 years and are best friends. But with a guy that I like so much..oi*

[seremela_culnamo]

Omg..Sorry for the double posting..But my friend thought up of a good plan!

My friend, Robecca had like 5 different plans. The last one will work :] Most likely, since the others had a few flaws that will make Dean go "what's going on" or something.

Robecca isn't in my group, but she's coming for the filming thing. So it will be her, Chloe, Dean & I. All of a sudden...

Robecca: tiffanyyy, let's go to the movies and out for dinner!
Me: heyy, that's awesome! (apparently i have my ticket in my wallet all the time. sounds reasonable?)
Chloe: ohh, yes! lemme go ask!

They both go "ask". Chloe is obviously going to ask her parents or pretend to upstairs..while Robecca "asks" her boyfriend, pretending to be her parents on the cellphone. Then they will both get all pissed because they can't go. & I will be like, "noooo" >< and pretend to be all sad. Then most likely Dean will volunteer to go because he's like that. I hope he does.

A good yet evil plan, right? I dunno. I hope it works. Chloe better not laugh or anything ><

To everyone else: For or Against?

[*mipadi*]

Why don't you just straight-up ask him to see a movie with you?

[anoniez]

hahah, sounds like it'll work =]

[Justingamemaster]

wow this guy is totally into you dude
if he's huggin you and shit i'm sure he feels the same way..i mean if he felt awkward about all those "moments" you guys had it's probably not everyday he does these sorts of things to girls, know what i mean.

.edit// you should make plans to go to the movies together, your friends and Dean, and see if he can go. then just have your friends bag out because they got grounded or something

[teeners4]

k i didnt read all the other posts and what you replied back. BUT dammit girl that sounds so adorable =] looks like he took some initiative but you gotta do something back. i mean if hes heard that you had feelings for him awhile back. he MIGHT not be sure if you still do, so he's making some moves to see how you react =]

[NgocQuyen]

hahah, sounds like it'll work =]

Roger that. lols...don't be so...i dont know...scared to take the chance...lols i'm sure he wont be freaked out or anything...some guys like it when girls ask them out...haha ^^ so just... ask him...i mean...wouldn't it be rather nice if you guys were alone instead of dragging your friends long too?

[seremela_culnamo]

Replies:

mipadi: the reason why im not asking him out is because i don't want him to get the wrong impression. in case if he doesn't like me back, but he knows i like him, i dont want him to think im asking him out. especially when im not sure how he feels & i have never asked out a guy before

anoniez: i hope it does! :] my friend can't go, so my best friend is doing the asking.

Justingamemaster: what you said about him feeling awkward, its probably true..now that you mention it. never took it in that way. haha. we have a plan that should work..hopefully.

teeners__15: uh-huh. my best online friend said the same thing. he said guys like it when girls respond, which makes sense. i guess i should've and there's not point of trying to play it hard to get [my sib and some people suggested that at first, while others disagreed], since he already knows i have feelings for him and such. and if i pretend i dont, he will be confused and worse, if he started to like me, they will soon be gone.

lilxl0ser: well since my friend who suggested the idea cant come [even though she said she will walk all the way to my friends house if she doesn't do it o.O], my best friend's going to be the one suggesting the idea. basically asking if i want to go to the movies since she knows i have a ticket left. then i will go "ask" my "mom", but she knows that i might be going out tonight, so really, im going to call my friend who suggested the idea to tell her that at least we asked. go back down, my best friend goes upstairs to ask her mom while dean askes his parents on his cell..hopefully he can go..anyway, my best friend comes back down and said shes not allowed to go..and if dean can, she's going suggest us two to go ourselves.

good plan?

[seremela_culnamo]

OMG. It went really well! =D OKAY. I'm too lazy to type everything out again, so here's what I have on my xanga about it. You can skip to the part where we went out. Heh. The first part..it's when we were filming. Somewhat important, but whatever. Have "fun" reading. Heh. Here goes:

Here I am..sitting here..listening to your gift..thank-you..but I should start of with what happened today..

Took a shower before Dean came and as I was getting ready, he came. He was suppose to come at 3:45, but he came at 3:30. So my mom let him in and started talking to him. I was scared that she was going to say something embarrassing about me, but she doesn't [i will explain why i know later]. But you know what was worse? She told him about the movie thing. So the entire plan of asking him at Chloe's went wrong. I was upstairs so I quickly ran to my parent's room and called Chloe about the news. We talked for awhile but it was a rush, since I didn't know what else my mom was going to talk to him about. Came down and got stuff ready. Totally embarrassed when my mom was talking in English. Stuff that Dean didn't need to hear so I told her to talk in Cantonese. Anyway, I survived it. We were just getting our shoes on when he goes, "you look really nice today" and I'm like, "thank-you", when my mom was there! I hope she didn't hear it, although I think she did.

On the way there, I asked him what my mom said. Actually, I asked him right after we left the house. Thank goodness. Nothing really embarrassing about me. Talked about you, too, Steph. Thank goodness that it was only my mom doing the talking then. Heh. The only awkwardness was when he was like, "you look really nice today". "Nooo..". "Yes, just like everyday. You look nice everyday".

Well, we finally finished filming! :] It was pretty fun. Haha. No offense to Rex, but I think we had more fun without him. Since he's the serious one. Oh my god. The scene where I was to be pulled out by Chloe and Dean from under the bed..it was so embarrassing! Chloe's reaction was so funny. Tried not to show anything on my face. I was lying there on the floor, half under the bed. Dean gets onto his hands and knees so that his face was right above mines. I was so embarrassed and shy. No clue why he did that, but yea, talking to someone you like that is quite weird! The rest of the filming was quite fun, too. Chloe's sister helped play a lot of parts. Ohh, Eddy, I tried to do what you recommended. Not a lot of chances though. Sigh* Tried to pretend everything was good between Dean and I..even when I was holding onto the other side of the camera while we watched our clip, and he slipped his hand further down the camera so our hands were touching.

Okay, so you guys are probably wondering what happened with the plan, right? Okay - flashback -Well I asked him if he wanted to come with "us" on the ride to Chloe's house. He said he would. Pretty happy after that, but I obviously had to tell Chloe before she asked him herself or something. So yes. It was all good. Thank goodness that you didn't come, Robby. Thanks again for the plan, even though it completely changed.

While we waited for night to come to do the outdoor scenes, Chloe helped me put the plan into action. She played as though she didn't know if Dean was coming or not and then asked her mom if she can go. I hope it wasn't obvious, since her sister was there. So she called her in and told her secretly what we were up to. So yea. She knows I like Dean now, too. But obviously Chloe couldn't go, but she said that Dean and I should still go. He asked if I still want to go and I told him I would like to, if he wanted to. We were both up to it, so we spent like the next 5-10 minutes deciding what movie to watch. It was a bit nice. Heh. He was sitting behind me so I leaned back a bit..so yea. Not too obvious, of course.

So after filming, we went over to MacDonald's to give Rex his camera and the script for editing. I can't believe it..I saw my old crush there working. Okay, forget him, he's not important in the picture anymore. So then we headed over to the movies, while we listen to Hedley. Speaking of Hedley, he brought me their CD. Aww, he's so sweet. While he was over at my house, he was actually secretly looking at all the CDs, to see if I had their CD. So he went out and brought it for me, while he brought one for himself, but it's one without all their songs. Only two songs. In other words, he brought me their original CD and not keeping the original for himself. Sigh* I felt bad but then yea..he's just so sweet and all, I just accepted it. So yes. Chloe, that was what we were talking about and stuff while we were at your house. & you know whenever we were talking and then stopped when you looked at us? It wasn't anything important. We were just playing or teasing one another for fun.

We get to the theatre and buy our tickets before we went for dinner. Although it wasn't the best movie I would've wanted to spend the ticket I had on, it became useful after all. Since it was spent on a night spent with him. Heh. I'm so silly in love. Anyway, dinner was either at Kelseys or the other restaurant next to the theatre. The entire time after we excited the building, he had his hand on my back. I wanted to take Eddy's advice and just responded with an action, but he kept on moving around so I couldn't. So we get to the restaurant and the waitress was really nice. I think she think we were dating or something, just from the way she treated us and stuff. Anyway, it was really fun. She came back with more crayons for us to draw on the sheet spreaded out on the table. Dean and I had a lot of fun doing that. He drew a guy surfing in a tub with waves while I helped him. Then he drew an evil chicken while I drew a demented donkey. Lol. They were "fighting". Then we both drew our own version of Harry Potter. Each character had their own lines. Lol. I was so tempted to just write, "I like you" and let him read it. But obviously since we still had the whole night ahead of us and yea..I didn't. But I really wanted to.

Dinner was pretty funny. Although we had awkward moments, we both laughed it off. Heh. Yea, you guys go awwww as much as you want. Haha. Since every once in awhile while we ate, Dean and I would end up starring at one another, and just shyly laugh it off. Haha. At one point, he was looking while I ate. So I looked back down after giving him a what are you up to look and he returned to his eating. He was about to eat when he saw me starring at him. Lol. That was really funny. He got so embarrassed, especially with his sandwich pieces, which were all really high up. I couldn't finish my dinner though. Lol. Yes. I won him. Haha. Okay, long story. Just that throughout the entire night, when we both tried to get another to do something or wahtever but the other one was shy or whatever, he will be like, "yay! i won you" or "noo, you won me!" Haha. He's so darn cute when he's like that. Haha. No, I did not tell him that. Nor that I could hear him sing. Even though I don't think he mind that I hear him sing all the time anymore. Lol. & yes. I just looked embarrassedly away from the numerous amount of times he said whatever I said or did was really cute.

He paid for dinner and we went over to the theatre. Actually, it was more like I walked there alone, while he took my leftover dinner and ran to put it in his car. Haha. When we go there, he had to go to the washroom and since I already went, I waited for him. But he couldn't find the washroom. Lol. So I geared him towards the right direction and slightly pushed him towards it. After that, we went in.

Fun with d**k and Jane was okay. Not that great but some parts were really hilarious. When we first sat, we totally like..ignored one another while talking occasionally. I was sitting to the left of my seat, away from him. Then I switched to the right when he had his arm off the armrest. Then as the movie kept on going, we just kept on moving closer. Okay, nothing happened so don't get excited or whatever. But our arms were constantly in contact and at one point, my shoulder was resting up against his. Both of us pretended that it was all natural. But I guess it was pretty close to the point that when he started talking a bit to me, when I turned, we were right up to one another's faces. Whoa, okay, hold it there. Lol. Yea. So it was kinda embarrassing but whatever. At one point I was wondering what he was doing. He was playing with me by pushing his face right up to mine. I was so embarrassed, but meh. Whew* Okay, better calm down there. Heh. No, nothing happened.

After the dinner, things just seemed a bit awkward between us. We were so close and all, that after the movie, he just kept on sitting there. So I moved away to go. He puts his hand on my back and started talking to me. But since we were sitting in the center part but more on the end, we had to move since other people had to get out. Heh. I was so tired after sititng there and the closeness between us, that I almost tripped over. Thank goodness that I didn't when we stood up and started walking down the stairs. But yea. I could feel it. It was a bit of akwardness between us. We were pretty silent and embarrassedly talked to one another.

It was around 9:20 when we left the building, and he had to be home by 10. So he asked if I wanted to grab a coffee [although I don't drink coffee] and I told him if he wanted to. Then on the ride, he asked me again and I said we can stop by Timothys. It was really awkward. We were listening to Trip by Hedley and I was thinking oh my god. Like the song doesn't fit our relationship with one another, but the part where it kept on saying I'm so into you, I felt like I wanted to cry or something. I'm really happy with everything and so glad that we went out, but..I don't know. So I was starring at my knees all along while my hands were..I don't know..or looking out at the window, telling myself not to do anything that will ruin the night. While him? He looked over several times but I couldn't really tell, since I wasn't looking at him. It was just total awkwardness between us two after the movie. Normally he would talk or even sing, but he didn't.

We get to Timothys and I felt really bad. He was going to get something to drink, but then he decided not to. We were going to stay there, but we didn't since he didn't want to be late getting home. After all, he doesn't live exactly close by. So I got a small hot chocolate. Felt bad that he had to pay, as though I was the one to blame since I was the only one buying. But he told me not to worry or anything. Then he took me home. Offered to help me carry my dinner to the door, but I didn't want him to. He has done so much and I should be thankful. Yes. Gave him a hug in the car, again. Told him thanks for everything [the time spent together, the CD, the dinner, the hot chocolate]. Just wanted to tell him that I liked him right after, but I couldn't. It felt right, but not the right right time, you know? But at least we both had a great time together.

No, it's NOT a date. Grr, for those who were saying that before today or even now.

So here I am..sitting here..finally done typing it up..don't think I missed anything..while I listen to his gift..such an awesome CD..still gave it to me even though he knew I have their songs on my MP3 and all that..seriously didnt expected this..nor that he was checking if I had it when he was over last Thursday..

Oi* What should I do after everything happened today? A lot of you guys said I should wait to see what happens today [my friends], so now what?

Any clue? o.O

// edit. I should've responded, but I couldn't. Like it just didn't seem right everytime or something. I wanted to, but I didn't want him to get the wrong impression. So yea..& his arm was always on my back or something..to warm me up. Lol. & he was only wearing a t-shirt and a thin shirt on top. . .OMG. He just called and you know what I forgot? I forgot to take my pjs with me! I left it in his car! So yea. OMG. I'm so embarrassed right now. Hehe. He's so funny. He was like, "do you want me to wash them for you?" Ermm, no thanks. OMG. I'm so forgetful. I'm so embarrassed right now. Blushing, too. Aghhhh.

// edit 2. Oh yea..we were talking about Universities. Sigh* We aren't going to the same. His 2nd and 3rd choices are my last two choices. I felt really down, especially when he said, "it would've been so good if we are going to the same one". I wish we did. Argh. It just felt like I was going to lose him forever or something. Haha. Makes me want to cry. Oh geez. What's wrong with me? Then after that..I got really silent..and stuff..and he tried to cheer me up or whatever by saying, "because you're so cool" and other good stuff. Ahh ><

// edit 3. Sorry, I keep on forgetting stuff. Lol. Umm, so yes. A lot of edits. Haha. Oh Chloe, all I got to say is don't tell him which day I'm doing my philosophy cafe thing. He's trying to come. So we are going to get to school early to tell our teacher. Lol. He's going to ask her, while I have to get there before him and find her to tell her not to tell him. We are both so silly. Then again, need to get my mark for chemistry. Stupid guidance. Haha. Oh yea. Funny. I'm hungry but I can't eat since I already have brushed my teeth and everything, since my dad is fixing stuff and there might not be water supply. And that just reminded me, at dinner..he ordered an ice tea. & he took a slip, then asked, "hey, do you want this? we can share" Blush! No I didn't know. Heh. Ermm, what if I did? o.O

[NgocQuyen]

^awwwwwwwwwwwwh!!!!!!!!! thats so freaking cute...i think i want to go cry now....its okay that you didn't tell him...if you felt that the timing wasn't right then it wasnt right! you tell him whenever you want to tell him...but...YOU NEED TO TELL HIM!!!! this is one of those stories...that i JUST GOTTA KNOW WHATS GOING TO HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omgsssssss it would be so effing cute....

hehehehehehe

[seremela_culnamo]

^awwwwwwwwwwwwh!!!!!!!!! thats so freaking cute...i think i want to go cry now....its okay that you didn't tell him...if you felt that the timing wasn't right then it wasnt right! you tell him whenever you want to tell him...but...YOU NEED TO TELL HIM!!!! this is one of those stories...that i JUST GOTTA KNOW WHATS GOING TO HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omgsssssss it would be so effing cute....

hehehehehehe 

Hehe. - blush - I know. It's cute. But I still wish I knew how he felt. I just hope he's not like this with every girl. Even though he's a softie and all that, I don't think he is. Only with those he really cares about or something, according to my friend. She said that from what she sees and all, the only ones he really cares about is my friend and I. But my friend, she already lets him know that theirs no chance with her. I know why and such, but meh. & they are totally different, whereas for Dean and I, we pratically agree on EVERYTHING.

Argh, I know. Thats what everyone said. I should tell him one day. I already told him through the letter (it was nothing gushy, more about apologizing about how I was acting towards him weeks before things started to happen). But I wish that if he felt the same way, he will tell me first instead.

Heh. I just brought him a gift. Okay, its a book. But I know he wants it. He brought me the CD, so I felt bad and brought him the book. & partially for the fact that he has always been there and never given up on me. My friends were like if a girl who acted like me towards him (when I was on and off with our friendship earlier this year), the guy would've totally forgotten about her. But he never gave up and tried to make things better for us.

Now I have no clue how to give it to him. But it will definately be in the morning during first period spare since nobody is there except for him, my best male friend and me.

[Anime_gurl_4eva]

this sounds like one of those situations that would happen in a movie.

best of luck to youu!! <333

[seremela_culnamo]

this sounds like one of those situations that would happen in a movie.

best of luck to youu!! <333

That's what a lot of my friends said. Ever since the day he walked me home after knowing me for a week, it sounded like a movie. Everything just seems to perfect, but truly it's not because things happen.

Heh. Do you see it as a happy or sad ending 'story'?

Thank-you. I really hope it will all work out. I wasn't feel easy about it because he's nice to a lot of girls and hangs out with them. But my friend, one who actually knows him better than most of my friends, said never has Dean gone to this extent (i.e. meeting the parents, etc).

[anoniez]

it sounds like a happy ending =))
awwh hahah it's so cute! best of luck!

[seremela_culnamo]

Heh, right now, I actually am considering on telling him. But once I see him, I know I won't be able to. Okay, but for one thing, I am DEFINATELY giving him the gift tomorrow.

He was so sweet in the morning today, but too bad it didn't work out. So we have first period spares but I came later today. What does he do? He walks to my house in hope of walking me to school! But my mom just dropped me off at school awhile later. Like I saw him walking, but I thought he was walking to MacDonalds! Sigh* Time is such an important factor, eh? He was like..planning to surprise me. Meh. My mom's curiousity of what's going on is even greater now. But she thinks he's the one who's after me, when I'm the one who likes him. She thinks he is and she can be right, after all she's so good in telling what happens all the time.

Ever since the beginning of the year, this week, he has been asking me why I'm so shy or something whenever he wants me to do something and I'm unwilling to do it because I'm shy. Or simply when he wants to do something (i.e. skip class to watch my presentation), I won't let him because I'm nervous. So like in some ways, he wants me to be more opened or something. My friend says that he wants me to tell him, but I don't know. All these hints, all in a matter of 2 weeks from today.

Heh, I feel like telling him tomorrow when I give him the gift. But I'm not sure. Heh. Stuff happened today. Not good. He got into a huge argument with another member of our group work and yea. Then I got into an argument with my friend who was a total jerk to me. So after I yelled at him with Chloe screaming at him beside me, Dean argued with him. Like we are there for one another all the time. Heh. The girl on msn, she asked if I was good friends with Dean or something. It was a bit awkward. Then again, it's probably because I convinced him to talk to the teacher about it and like in class, he has ice cream. And he told me I should try it, but I was shy. He was eating it, but like I don't want to do that in front of everyone. Especially when it looked like he was going to feed it to me.

He's so sweet, but when he's pissed, it's scary. Glad that he was still talking to me though. While he ignored everyone else. I felt like giving him a hug, but then that's a bit off, since it's not like I'm the one depressed or anything. I hope you get what I mean. But on MSN, he was like "as long as you're happy, i'm happy". Then he has this concert thing hes trying to hold in May and I said I can help him, and then I found out it's only us 2. He tells me after. Meh. It's like, we're good friends, only. Then it's like, but I still like him. I don't know.

But you guys were right. After the "date" thing on Thursday, we are closer in some ways. We don't call one another up to just talk, but like, I can just tell.

[*liquidize*]

yeah, you should hand your virginity over to him on a platter!

[seremela_culnamo]

yeah, you should hand your virginity over to him on a platter!

What?! I like him and want to be with him, not to lose my virginity! o.O

[seremela_culnamo]

I don't know what to do. Semi-formal is on the 2nd of February and everyday since Thursday, he will ask me if I'm going. No wait, he asked if I was going and I told him I'm not because I don't dance and such. He knows I don't but he doesn't believe me and kept on saying that I should go because it will be really fun. Everyday since then. So I don't know. I assume he's going because he said it will be fun and stuff, but if I do, what's the point, right? It's not like he's asking me to go with him. He just thinks I should really go.

Then the topic of prom got brought up yesterday. I told him I wasn't going to that either and then for the next few minutes, he tried to convince me to go and then got into all these crazy ideas of making me go and such. I really don't know. Argh, what does he want? It's not like he's asking me to go with him. Even if he wants me to, he's not saying it directly. So if he does, is it because he's just shy or not sure since I have been planning not to go to either ever since grade 9?

My friends said I should go and if I do, I should go with him. But that's awkward..especially if they aren't going to semi-formal. & won't it be weird if all of a sudden, I will say I will go, but if he doesn't ask me to go with him or something? Hmm..

Guys are confusing ><

[*mipadi*]

It's fairly clear he wants you to go. He would probably like to go with you, but isn't asking for some reason, either out of shyness, or because he thinks you don't want to go.

[seremela_culnamo]

We aren't going to semi-formal anymore. A lot of people aren't going, so yea. It's too late to buy tickets anyway. As well, we both didn't really feel like going in the end.

Well, we are best friends now. On Friday, the night before, I ranted stuff out on my webpage. My friend saw it and said she will print it out and let him see it, since I'm too scared to ask him about what's going on. It seemed like a good idea, but then after he got it, I realized that I didn't mean some of the things I said. After all, I was just ranting and said stuff that I didn't want to happen. Anyway, basically, it said stuff like I wanted to give up on my friendship with him because I didn't want to hurt him in any way, like how I never open up to him and such. So it didn't go too well. He didn't try to show it when I was around, but he was really depressed and took it out on one of our friends in class. Then he had try-outs after school, and my friend told me that he wasn't himself at all. I felt worse than ever.

So one of my other good friends calls him to make sure he's okay and she tells him that I didn't mean anything I said in the update. That he should open up to me and call me if he decides to. He does and we talked for an hour. We finally opened up to one another. It started off with him asking me questions, then I asked him questions back, and vice versa.

He said that he isn't ready for a relationship right now because he doesn't want the same thing to happen with his ex (last year when they broke up. he moved here last year though. they broke up sometime around this month last year). Basically she cheated on him because he was moving too fast for her or something. Anyway, after their break up, he was really depressed and somewhat, almost went suicidal like and had to visit the therapy, take medicine and all that. But now he's completely fine again. So he said that he didn't want that to happen, and that one day, he will be willing to get into a relationship again. Instead, we are best friends now. Still good :]

So we made the conclusion that we would start off fresh as best friends, but in the sense we know one another and all that. Then he said that we will keep that up, and then one day in the future, we will see where our friendship brings us to. Like of course, we will be even closer and all, but can that mean from what he said about how our friendship my carry us further, mean that the only thing thats keeping us apart from being "together" is because of his past? O-well. I don't want to think of it too much because I don't want my hopes up and all that again. Haha, but we did make one another feel special when we told one another that the other was one another's fastest friend of the opposite gender to be this close :] After all, we have both known another just less than a semester, though it could've been a year, but we were both too shy to approach one another last year =P Haha. Yes, like he said, "we were meant to meet" =D

Whelp, that's all I have to say. Haha. It was fun when I went over to his house on Saturday though.

His room makes mines look as though a tornado just went past

[subtle_profanity]

Aww, that's sweet. Even if you guys aren't in a relationship now, I wish you luck. =)