"Life Changing Experience", what changed you? Options

[De112]

Aight, So I know we all have had a "Life Changing Experience". I know I have. I've had plenty...But most of the experiences, no one ever tells. No one tells because alot of times it's not always good. This sorta goes back to Brandon's thread, get to know cb, but this goes into it, more depth to this one topic...

I'll start off..

To be honest, I think my dad leaving my Mom and I was the Life Changing Experience that was supposed to happen for a reason. It changes alot of ways I look at life. If my dad had never left my mom, I would have never seen the heart break my mom went through, and it showed me exactly what NOT to be.
Also, my step dad...he had problems with drugs. He would come home late at night, and start fights with my mom. I was 12...13 years old...What was I to do? This happen for a while. Around the time I got 15, I punched him. Broke his nose.
Things were never right after that. So my mom left him. Now it's just me and my mom...But both of these situations have given me alot...shows what NOT to be to a woman...

and it also shows that I have a bad temper from holding all this in =]

Now You.

[*salcha*]

Wow Dejay..I'm sorry :/

Anyway, mine wasn't as dramatic as yours, but it was still my life changing experience. It was the summer after eighth grade ended and two weeks before I was to go into a public school for the first time as a freshman. I was at my church retreat and all the speakers, the worship...I don't know, I felt like it was a new beginning of rmy life or something.

Yeah, you probably can't relate very well, but it was the best feeling I have ever had.

[steezahh]

i have no clue what really has changed me.. people being so mean to me, it changed me to forgive those who hate on me, even though tis their problemm.. i dunno i`ll come back. cause this is hard, so many things have been life changing.

[Hiphop d[-_-]b]

Wow thats tough. Im going to pick 5 things that i think have changed me the most.

Uhm. I think having to raise myself pretty much, changed my life.Being molested and abused, having failed attempts at rape twice commited on me, getting in and out of involvment with gang life. Seeing so many people be murdered. Having to go to memorials, funerals,burial sites so much each year to pay respects. How my mom and dad are, REALLY change me, and still is changing me. Im still young, but im yet so old.

My mom and dad .. are a pitifull attempt at trying to save marriage. Some kids say "At least you have parents" But if you dont know how homelife is for me, dont upen your mouth about what i should and should not want. Cos i definitley dont like hearing my moms wails everynight. Her cries, the kinds the shake your body, and make you out of breathe. And i mean, she really wails. I put up my music as loud as i can, so i dont have to hear her crying and my dad yelling but i can still hear the sobs. Im not sure if its echoing in my head, or if it really is her cries that are louder than the maximum volume on my computer speakers, but nonetheless i hear them. As ive sated before. I had a mother, unfit for mothering. And i had a father, but never in my entire life, do/did i have a father figure. It didnt really matter anyway. I spent most of my time raising myself and learning what i know on my own since my parents werent there. I cant even explain how much my home life .. is just. I cant even say. Cos its just too much to sum up into something that anyone could understand.But in the end, i know it has helped me. I know more about life than i should at my age. And i already know a lot. Im very intelligent street and school wise.. But im still a kid. I only just turned 14 for christs sake. But i know more than most 20 year olds maybe. Im wise among my years. Sounds conceited maybe, but its the truth.

Getting kicked out of my house so much has changed me. Its made me more independent on myself. When i was about 8 years old, i realized it was me myself and i. Its who i have in the end and its who i have to stick with.

The physical and sexual abuse from Jay. Of course that changed me. Im afraid now of other boys. I get uncomfortable if i become too close to a guy that i like, because im never sure if they are the sort of person who would hurt me like Jay-R did. Cos he seemed like one of the nicest boys i could get with. But obviously, i was wrong.

Being molested and almost raped by another boyfriend, Carlos, in 8 grade, has changed me for the same reasons as Jay-R but even more so. When i was in 7 grade, i was almost raped by a friend of a friend which was after the abuse and before the second attemtped rape so you can just imagine how i am with boyfriends. Im still, VERY comfortable with guy friends. Those are mostly the peopel i try to hang out with are boys, because they arent as much drama. But if its a boy im interested in, or like i get really uncomfortable.

Seeing and feeling the pain of death has also really changed me. In ways i dont think i can explain.

Gangs. Sigh. Im still sort of caught up in the gruff, but i know mos def. i can never go back to it. It gave me a sense of belonging when i mobbed with the family. But i chose not to get jumped in, because of George. And im glad i did.

There are so many other little things that have affected my life too. But those 5 are the main i would say. The death,family,abuse,raising myself and gang things.

Edited - Added a few more details cos my post was a bit confusing.

[HoodieObsessed]

I don't think I've had many yet...I mean I've had them, but they've all been so small, I can't remember them. Like every once in a while something happens...I get a new friend, learn soem new stuff, start going to school...things like that. Notihng too spectacular, it's all happened very gradually



EDIT

wow Bella, that's aweful

I'm so sorry for you I hope you'r doing alright

[*Programmer*]

I...flipped over in a kyak in the middle of the atlantic ocean....with a thunder storm fast approaching...i was upturned for over 4 min...before i managed to get the belt undone...i saw my life flash before my eyes...somehow i managed to cut myself loose ans flip my kyak back over..pull myself back on...with out flipping it back over....and battled the thunder storm going 4 miles threw the storm headed back towards the in-land. since then i've been really reluctant to go kyaking anymore...it has scar me for life.... i appreciate every day god gives me now lifes to short have fun

[De112]

Dang bella, I'm sorry =[ who dis jay kid. Let me cop the address so me and my friends can go pay him a visit...

I hate how some guys can do that to a girl...but i'm glad you made it through all that.

[Hiphop d[-_-]b]

Dang bella, I'm sorry =[ who dis jay kid. Let me cop the address so me and my friends can go pay him a visit...

I hate how some guys can do that to a girl...but i'm glad you made it through all that.

Haha He lives in Stockton. But, he acts as if nothing ever happened between us.On the rare occasions i see him, he says hello and acts like we used to be the best of friends. Akhslkcbalkhivab. Good thing i havent seen Carlos. Id probably rip his throat out.

[De112]

Aight, i'll holla to kc and see if he wants some of this too. Maybe Santa and His Helper too.

[*Programmer*]

^ it's nice that you guys want to help her...but i don't think she needs to even be reminded of what the dumbass did to her..i think we can all agree with that...

[De112]

for once, rico you're actually right. but back to the topic...
anyone have any thing that has recently happened to them, that you think is changing your life?

[lovescream]

my mom getting a boyfriend - i always thought it'd suck. because my mom and I wouldn't be close anymore. and you know, i kind of got jealous because my mother seemed to love HIM more than she loved ME. And you know.. I guess I regret calling him an a-hole and all that. =x Because now, it's been what, 3 years since he's been living with us? Well, yeah, he's gotten a lot better but he's more like my big brother rather than my dad. =x
Mehhh.. and I'm an only child who always wanted a sibling.

[KELLYYY]

my mom getting a boyfriend - i always thought it'd suck. because my mom and I wouldn't be close anymore. and you know, i kind of got jealous because my mother seemed to love HIM more than she loved ME. And you know.. I guess I regret calling him an a-hole and all that. =x Because now, it's been what, 3 years since he's been living with us? Well, yeah, he's gotten a lot better but he's more like my big brother rather than my dad. =x
Mehhh.. and I'm an only child who always wanted a sibling.

You have me.

[De112]

I do know how you feel. Except i'm a little different. My mom have her "guy friends" which are perfectly fine...but even if they are just friends I don't want to get to know them. Speak to em. or anything. I got this automatic grudge where I want to knock their block off..

[*jooleeah*]

deleted. i wrote too much, IMO.

[mai_z]

^^ I'm sorry for your grandfather's death , I've had five cases of cancer in my family, and I know it's hard.

My life changing experience is definately joining cadets. It's given me a lot.

[*jooleeah*]

thanks. he isn't dead yet...but yeah, it's still scary to think about it. i hope your family gets through those hard times as well...

[iiTsDAYNA]

When we moved out of my hometown. It was a drastic move and Im miserable

[De112]

thanks. he isn't dead yet...but yeah, it's still scary to think about it. i hope your family gets through those hard times as well...

Julia well i'm here for you kid =]

[*jooleeah*]

i'm here for you too, dejay. =) thanks.

[EddieV]

These xanga comment changed me....

ME ACTING LIKE A TOTAL B****? YOU'RE THE ONE ACTING ALL B***** FIRST OFF. I'M TRYING TO TALK TO YOU & YOU DON'T EVEN SAY S***.. I'VE TRIED TO GET S*** STRAIGHT & TRIED TO TALK TO YOU AS A FRIEND, BUT YOU JUST CONTINUE TO PUSH AWAY~ SO DON'T CALL ME A F****** BITCH WHEN YOU THE ONE DON'T WANT TO WORK SHIT OUT, BITCH. SAY IT TO YOUR F****** FACE? HAAHHH!! MARK TOLD ME ALL THIS S*** THAT YOU SAID ABOUT ME, WHY DON'T YOU SAY IT THEN, HUH? UNDERESTIMATED YOU? WTF YOU GON' DO? CHASE ME AFTER A SWORD? LMAOLOL.. YOUR FACE MAKES ME LAUGH. BY THE WAY~ FIND SOME *REAL* FRIENDS THAT DON'T THINK OF YOU THE WAY I THINK OF YOU, HAAAHAHH.

AHHAHA~ if my face looks like it cost one dollar then yours ain't probably worth more then 2 cents, HAHAH. my eyes? my eyes look like they pick up tv on demand? HAHAH.. your dumbass jokes just cracks me up. atleast i don't got f**king acne on my nose & on my face.. i PASSED puberty becuz my ass is GROWN & don't act like a f**king CHiLD, hahah. & ohyeaa, if my face is that bad then how come i can get both guys AND girls? & how come i was modeling? hahah. some luck you got. & gyeaa~ i do TRY to talk to you in class, but you just block me off.. like all those times in trailors i try to talk to you, but you just don't say shit. maybe you don't realize it, but i did.. so YOU should shut the f**k up. gyeaa~ you talk shit, but your shit ain't even true. i make my OWN graphics & codes~ i don't copy & paste them like your wack ass xanga, so stfu. the shit you talk ain't even true you f**king liar. oh boy, your stupidity just makes me laugh. crying your ass off & making a big scene just becuz your dumbass was going to summer school, can you get any stupider? even LT, Javonn, & all them "friends" of yours think your hella stupid & pathetic. it's funny becuz they feel bad for you & you need someone to help your ass grow up~ haahah. even your Mark's number one annoying piece of shit. the reason why you can't say shit to anyones face is becuz you don't have the balls to admit it, hahah. f**king loser. be real for a change & stop playing yourself. the reason why i held everything back from you was becuz i pity'd you & your "losses," haahh. & gyeaa~ good luck in the future with you too [i HOPE you'll get somewhere with your type of bullshit], but gyeaa~ maybe if you learn to grow the f**k up & stop lying & stop being so jealous of people just becuz they're "better" then maybe you'd be a "happier" person then you think. & just watch, with all the "lying" bullshit you talk, watch you get hit one day. i don't want to see your ass come out with a bamboo stick or some shit, hahah. just some advice. you're some entertainment. & don't even "bother" to reply back becuz like what you said "you don't have time for this bullshit," so gyeaa.. hahah. take care of yourself (;.

It made me realize what type of person I really used to be, she was a true friend, and we are still best of friends....

[De112]

dang eddie! you fo sho gettin coal =]

[EddieV]

^ If it wasn't for those two comments, I'd still be the same lying a-hole I used to be...

[Santas_Helper]

Glad to know you changed, Eddie-Boy. You won't be recieving coal.

[steezahh]

removed for purposes.

[klumzy]

still waiting patiently for my life changing experience ^^

[cLinT_wEStw0oD]

My computer changed my life. I don't know how to explain it but it did. Changed my personality, grades, alot of shit. I guess I'm obsessed with it. I don't know.

Something else that changed me was school. I used to try to be the good guy, you know? But now it's changed. I almost got jumped once. Now I demand respect from other people, just so they don't try any shit on me. I joined the latin kings for backup whenever I need it, now I'm cold on the inside. I don't feel anything as warm as I should. I guess I'm just learning life out there. Outside of home. Oh well...at least I'm getting somewhere. Don't know where...but it's somwhere.

[*not_your_average*]

hmm. a life changing experience?

well, when i was around eight or so, my parents were having a hard time with their marriage. i'd rather not saay why, but there was another person involved that almost compelled them to divorce. i was only a little kid, so i didn't know what was going on or why. once i found out, i was devastated. i grew to hate the person who was tearing my parents apart. one day, i met him at an ihop, and my attitude about him changed. but i still was angry at him for threatening my parents' marriage. my parents wouldn't stop fighting, and i would cry myself to sleep each night because i was so scared that my parents were going to divorce.

luckily though, my parents are still together, and i'm thankful for it everyday. they still have their fights, but their relationship is stronger than ever. this has made our entire family much closer.

the experience taught me that no matter what, you have to stick with those you love. you can't run away from your problems, and you have to face them head-on. i also realized that my parents are only human, and as strong as they are, they're not superheroes. i've come to respect them more because of it.

[ecargnmyst]

hey its a very good thing your not gonna be like your dad..props for that...and also very good how u stand up for ur mom...u must love her very much

as for me....i reeeally do wanna love my mom b/c i feel so srry for her...but my hate for her kinda prohibits that..

ook so.. my dads been cheating on my mom for the past 17 yrs (i just turned 17...sbeen happening when my mom was pregnant with me) he has a 15/16 yr old son with that woman...hes been physically and mentally abusing my mom...more mental abuse tho..sooo..well hes done alloottt of other stuff...still hazy on a bunch..but from what i overheard in the arguements...he had a girlfriend who he got pregnant ..took her money and ran off...then he had another wife who he did the same thing to...and now my mom his 3rd "victim" cept my mom wouldnt let him run off w/ her money..so here they still are..unhappily..

so of course...him being such an a-hole...not providing for us..never being home...cheating...all that stuff drove my mom crazy..so right now im living with a mom whos been blinded by hatred and paranoia....her actions r unreasonable and she takes out her pain on me..that is why im unable to love her altho i feel very srry for her...but she is so close to killing me..and has..on several occasions almost killed me...choking me..smothering me...trying to stab me w/ scissors/pencils ..id go further into detail but i dont want to depress anyone here..lol..i wrote about it in my college essay and my english teacher thought i needed counseling =\ b/c my writing was so darkk ><

but this has been a life changing experience..well not life changing b/c i was born INTO it..but it certainly has affected the way ive grown up..and altho there were time ive thought of dying (even tho amazingly i dont do drugs or cut myself or anything =]....and amazingly i look/act like a happy perky girl O.o) i have to really appreciate and thank everything that happened to me..to make who i am today..b/c all the dark emotions inside of me only motivated me to write more and express myself in more creative ways..and im very thankful for that

i grew to hate the person who was tearing my parents apart.

=\ my moms always yelling at me for not standing up for her and not hating that other woman ... but how can i stand up for her and fight for her...if shes treated me so badly? even tho its not really her fault..but i grew up seeing her as more of an enemy...and how can i hate that other woman if there was no happy family in the first place to miss? iono..i think my reasoning makes sense..no?

[omgah_itsmaggiex]

mine would definitely have to be my mom dying in 1999. i was 9 and for some reason, i think it was meant to happen. she wasnt happy with her life or her family, so she killed herself. it feels so weird, because i have no mother..and if she did come back, it would feel so weird to have 3 people in a family instead of 2. its taught me so many things about my dad. people may think its weird; to not have a woman figure in my life, but its not. if she hadnt pass, my dad and i wouldnt be as strong as we are now.

edit//wow, i said weird a lot. haha

[De112]

clint_westwood -- you were getting better with grades...don't let that stuff get to you. Life isn't perfect, someone gets hurt whether it be physical or emotional, but 2 wrongs don't make it right. Don't DEMAND respect, show it some other way. Like me, I show it on the football field. That's how I get my respect. Or show it in humor. Personality. You don't need gangs for backup man...I've had people in my family die from whack crap like that. Why? For no reason. It's not worth it man...and I mean that.

[De112]

mine would definitely have to be my mom dying in 1999. i was 9 and for some reason, i think it was meant to happen. she wasnt happy with her life or her family, so she killed herself. it feels so weird, because i have no mother..and if she did come back, it would feel so weird to have 3 people in a family instead of 2. its taught me so many things about my dad. people may think its weird; to not have a woman figure in my life, but its not. if she hadnt pass, my dad and i wouldnt be as strong as we are now.

Wow, I was taught that everything DOES always happen for a reason...It's the same thing with me, although my Dad isn't dead, he doesn't talk to me. So it's just me and my mom...But it's alright because it taught me that I would do anything for my mom. The priorities of my life are Jesus, and my mom, and sister.
I've also had my other sister die, but she had a hole in her heart...I understand where you are coming from, and it's great to know that you went through it and looked to the better side.

May I get your name? maggie is it?