the power of a dream Options

[ecargnmyst]

Writhing in the darkened spaces of my mind
fallen prey to the chasm of chaos
Troubled demons consume the life
exhausting the spirit; the only light
expiring the words; Let all cries fade
Lost in the vastness and stripped of the energy
I recover only to be drained once more
Withering dreams escape my grasp
strands of hope die unclaimed
but a trace of dream left behind
Sought my sanctuary in that little thing
gave up my soul for that fragment of hope
Be the wind to carry me through
for Fear has trapped me in Time's frozen hands
Let the pain out; a burst of sound
The windows shatter and slice through my thoughts
slashing its way to the numb core of myself
A surge of feeling; an explosion of emotions
And the dark void that bound me all this time
dissolved before my very eyes

eh...the title was a crappy last second title..need a bettr one lol
thats the shortened version..i need to find the original one >.<

[sadolakced acid]

i like it.

i like how it's mostly despair and then ends on a good note. Almost missed it, because the good part was so sudden. (maybe build up to it with a few lines?)

may i suggest something like "unbound" for the title?

i think it might be better broken into three stanzas, it'd help accent the changes in diction and mood.

very nicely written.