heart of alexis, story generator. Options

[RiddleMeWonders]

Some days I wish I could just walk away from this place.
Other days I wish that time would stop and not make me have to depart each time I do. But his sleeve is decorated with my heart, so I can't move on just yet.
I wonder when he'll give it back to me and use his own, but it cant be any time soon. He's too impulsive. A thief by nature. If you were to lock a piece of jewelry, no matter what it's value, inside a chest sunk deep into the sea, locked inside another larger chest guarded by 5 tiger sharks, he would be able to get it out within 30 minutes of you putting the thing down there. You probably thought I meant my emotional heart when I mentioned it before, but in reality, he has the Heart of Alexis. It is an actual replica of my great aunts heart when she died, made of red ruby and black amethyst.There was something very special about Alexis you see, she could please anyone. Make them happy. A sheild of light and love. But Thomas is using it to his own means, the nature of which, I suppose you can fathom.



It's something different I might use. What do you think?

[illumineering]

As a story starter, I particularly like the lines inside the quote box

Some days I wish I could just walk away from this place.
Other days I wish that time would stop and not make me have to depart each time I do.

The open-ended nature of these lines will allow a large audience to draw from their personal experiences to follow the story that is to come. They also reflect a feeling many peole have had at one time or another with regard to jobs, friends, school or life in general.

As for the remainder of the post, it is not as compelling as the content of the quote, although it could be woven into the remainder of the story. As for a continuation of the starter in quotes, it seems to divert too quickly into another direction. I would like to learn more about the revolving door in general before the rest of the starter is presented. The Heart of Alexis seems to be a metaphor for other dynamics that are taking place.

The first two lines seem to be about the narrator, while the rest of the idea focuses on 2nd and 3rd person perspectives. Maybe personifying the Heart from the start would help to unify these perspectives.

Good luck! Your start has a few interesting possibilities. I'll look forward to watching this piece progress.

[HelloSunshine]

I liked it. If you continued it on, I'd definitely read it.

[HelloSunshine]

I liked it. If you continued it on, I'd definitely read it.

[edit]
sorry for double post..computer...
[/edit]

This post has been edited by xSWEETxCANDiix: Nov 23 2005, 08:08 PM