parent problems, ...parents dont allow gf... |
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 Nov 21 2005, 05:34 PM
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#1
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Changa  Group: Member Posts: 53 Joined: Jul 2005 Member No: 177,785  |
alright..
my parents dont allow me to have a gf... and i have one...and i love her and dont plan on breaking up anytime soon her parents also dont allow her to have a bf  any suggestions? or am i just scrwed? |
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Nov 21 2005, 05:44 PM
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#2
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 Senior Member Group: Official Member Posts: 4,882 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 47,064 |
Ok 2 questions- How long have you been going out and how old are you two?
I think it depends on how serious the relationship is. If it's actually something you truely see in your future, maybe you should consider telling your parents. Give it time, though. I don't thnk it's anything to really worry about depending on how long you've been together. |
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Nov 21 2005, 06:04 PM
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#3
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Changa Group: Member Posts: 53 Joined: Jul 2005 Member No: 177,785 |
we've been goin out for 3 months
and my 14th birthday is in 3 days (thanksgiving) |
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Nov 21 2005, 06:13 PM
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#4
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Changa Group: Member Posts: 53 Joined: Jul 2005 Member No: 177,785 |
oh, and shes 13
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Nov 21 2005, 06:19 PM
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#5
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 hello : ) Group: Official Member Posts: 4,227 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 13,139 |
^Please use the EDIT button instead of double posting.
Anyway, I think that by you both going behind your parents' back and dating each other is really immature and it just shows you aren't ready for a relationship. I'm not saying this to be mean or anything but because it's true. If you both were ready for a serious relationship (which is where you are taking it to if you want to say you 'love' her which is not something to be taken lightly) then you would have both been ready for the consequences of being in a relationship and/or you would have been able to approach your parents as mature adults explaining to them that you think you two should be able to date. I guess you really don't have much to do now. If you tell them, they'll most likely get angry for two reasons instead of the just one if you had mentioned in beforehand. And I hope you didn't get offended by any of that because it really is TRUE. I know because I've been in the same situations and it's best to come out with the fact that you two want to date (in the beginning) vs keeping it a secret and risking getting each other into even bigger trouble. |
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Nov 21 2005, 06:37 PM
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#6
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Changa Group: Member Posts: 53 Joined: Jul 2005 Member No: 177,785 |
no i dont think u get it...
my parents want me to wait until im OUT OF COLLEGE... and theyre very reluctant to change... thats 9 years away... plus...ive already said "i love you" and kissed her.. we went to the movies...with all our friends...but still...i guess...its kinda of a date...not really o, sry about the double posting... im new, didnt kno about the edit button |
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Nov 21 2005, 06:43 PM
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#7
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 We are the cure. Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 4,936 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 1,456 |
QUOTE(richc @ Nov 21 2005, 6:37 PM) no i dont think u get it... my parents want me to wait until im OUT OF COLLEGE... and theyre very reluctant to change... thats 9 years away... plus...ive already said "i love you" and kissed her.. we went to the movies...with all our friends...but still...i guess...its kinda of a date...not really o, sry about the double posting... im new, didnt kno about the edit button  Saying it and meaning it are totally different.~ Break up with her, cause you're gonna get your ass kicked when they find out, and they will find out. |
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Nov 21 2005, 06:53 PM
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#8
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 hi. call me linda. Group: Official Member Posts: 8,187 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,475 |
Frankly, I don't think you really mean it when you say "I love you." Why don't you sit down with your parents and tell them that there's this girl that you really like and have them meet. Maybe, if your parents like her, then they would be more lenient.
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Nov 21 2005, 07:10 PM
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#9
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 Amberific. Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 12,913 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 29,772 |
QUOTE(richc @ Nov 21 2005, 6:37 PM) no i dont think u get it... my parents want me to wait until im OUT OF COLLEGE... and theyre very reluctant to change... thats 9 years away... plus...ive already said "i love you" and kissed her.. we went to the movies...with all our friends...but still...i guess...its kinda of a date...not really o, sry about the double posting... im new, didnt kno about the edit button No offense but you're only 13. You shouldn't be worried about love quite yet. And kissing doesn't mean anything. I know that for a fact. |
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Nov 21 2005, 07:12 PM
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#10
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 Senior Member Group: Official Member Posts: 6,953 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 52,702 |
your still young
i think you shouldn't tell you prarents untill..i dunno you move out to college parents won't care if you're in love, so they will defintily keep you guys away from each other just don't tell them for a couple of years they don't need to know right? |
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Nov 21 2005, 07:13 PM
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#11
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Amberific. Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 12,913 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 29,772 |
^ Well that's not good. That's like lying.
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Nov 21 2005, 07:15 PM
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#12
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c[: Group: Member Posts: 2,302 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 2,876 |
QUOTE(richc @ Nov 21 2005, 6:37 PM) no i dont think u get it... my parents want me to wait until im OUT OF COLLEGE... and theyre very reluctant to change... thats 9 years away... plus...ive already said "i love you" and kissed her.. we went to the movies...with all our friends...but still...i guess...its kinda of a date...not really o, sry about the double posting... im new, didnt kno about the edit button lol..are you kidding me? you're barely 14 and you already think you're in love? trust me kid i've seen what happens to kids like that that are always looking for love. and uhh..you've been going out for 3 months you say? wow..you're in love alreadyyy? interesting...VERY interesting. in my opinion you should just break up. you guys can still remain friends or whatever since both of you all's parents dont want you to date..so yeahh. i mean just wait it out. if you actually listen to your parents you never know, they might actually let you date later on. being in a relationship isnt all that in a bag of chips you know? its over-rated. 
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Nov 21 2005, 07:18 PM
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#13
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Changa Group: Member Posts: 53 Joined: Jul 2005 Member No: 177,785 |
any other suggestions besides breaking up?
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Nov 21 2005, 07:23 PM
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#14
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c[: Group: Member Posts: 2,302 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 2,876 |
*pst pst maybe breaking up seems to be popular because its the right thing to do...
 you're the one who asked for helpp
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Nov 21 2005, 07:28 PM
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#15
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Changa Group: Member Posts: 53 Joined: Jul 2005 Member No: 177,785 |
"wats popular isnt always right"
haha 
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Nov 21 2005, 07:31 PM
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#16
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Senior Member Group: Official Member Posts: 6,953 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 52,702 |
well does your parents have a good reason for you not having a girlfriend? besides the distracting your schoolwork
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Nov 21 2005, 07:42 PM
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#17
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Changa Group: Member Posts: 53 Joined: Jul 2005 Member No: 177,785 |
they just say im too young
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Nov 21 2005, 07:56 PM
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#18
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Member Group: Member Posts: 10 Joined: Nov 2005 Member No: 300,640 |
QUOTE(richc @ Nov 21 2005, 7:37 PM) no i dont think u get it... my parents want me to wait until im OUT OF COLLEGE... and theyre very reluctant to change... thats 9 years away... plus...ive already said "i love you" and kissed her.. we went to the movies...with all our friends...but still...i guess...its kinda of a date...not really o, sry about the double posting... im new, didnt kno about the edit button my parents want me to wait until college too. im like your age, so yeah. i think when we say i love you it isnt really true but it isnt really fake. when my parents found out i had a boyfriend they didn`t hit me or anything but they yelled at me. i think you should tell your parents how you feel and stuff and MAYBE they`ll understand that we`re more mature and stuff. but this is just my opinion so yeah.. |
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Nov 21 2005, 08:06 PM
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#19
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 Being happy...is all that matters Group: Member Posts: 765 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 102,284 |
QUOTE(richc @ Nov 21 2005, 5:18 PM) any other suggestions besides breaking up? Well can't you just be friends with her? Or come out clean to BOTH your parents and her parents. I was in the same situation last year and I was 16...and relationships at young age...don't tend to work out right. |
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Nov 21 2005, 08:23 PM
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#20
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 F**k me Beautiful Group: Member Posts: 3,126 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 30,124 |
maybe u shouldnt tell ur parents :O
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Nov 21 2005, 09:05 PM
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#21
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. Group: Member Posts: 3,264 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 761 |
maybe you should put your relationship on hold for a while.
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Nov 21 2005, 10:32 PM
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#22
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hi. call me linda. Group: Official Member Posts: 8,187 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,475 |
QUOTE(richc @ Nov 21 2005, 7:18 PM) any other suggestions besides breaking up? Dude, did you even read my post: QUOTE(silver rain @ Nov 21 2005, 6:53 PM) Frankly, I don't think you really mean it when you say "I love you." Why don't you sit down with your parents and tell them that there's this girl that you really like and have them meet. Maybe, if your parents like her, then they would be more lenient.
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Nov 22 2005, 12:33 AM
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#23
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hello : ) Group: Official Member Posts: 4,227 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 13,139 |
QUOTE(richc @ Nov 21 2005, 5:37 PM) no i dont think u get it... my parents want me to wait until im OUT OF COLLEGE... and theyre very reluctant to change... thats 9 years away... plus...ive already said "i love you" and kissed her.. we went to the movies...with all our friends...but still...i guess...its kinda of a date...not really o, sry about the double posting... im new, didnt kno about the edit button No, actually I do get it, okay? My parents were exactly the same way so don't tell me that I don't get it. Saying you love someone and actually loving someone are two different things. Be careful because someone is gonna end up getting hurt when 'love' gets involved. You haven't even gone out on a real date so how the heck can you say you love her and everything? Honestly, if you did and if it was that important to you (her and the relationship) you would be up front with your parents about it. You're thirteen. Wait until you go to high school buddy. QUOTE(richc @ Nov 21 2005, 6:42 PM) they just say im too young Again, I'm sorry but you ARE too young. You're not even mature enough to confront your parents about a relationship. |
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Nov 22 2005, 12:34 AM
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#24
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 Peggy. Group: Member Posts: 2,508 Joined: Aug 2005 Member No: 214,025 |
Break the relationship and be friends.
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| *not_your_average* |
Nov 22 2005, 12:37 AM
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#25
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QUOTE(richc @ Nov 21 2005, 7:42 PM) they just say im too young You're 13. And you told this girl that you loved her? Break up while you still can, buddy. Enjoy your life while you still can. Or take silver rain's suggestion. Talk to your parents and ask them to meet her. If you don't want to do that, then there is no point in continuing this relationship. |
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Nov 22 2005, 12:41 AM
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#26
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 350 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 49,692 |
I have no clue if my parents will ever let me have a boyfriend. So if my crush does eventually like me back if he hasn't noticed already or whatever that everyone says from the things he does and such, I don't think I will tell my parents. I know that if I do, eventually everything will be blamed on him. Like if my marks aren't as high as it should be, then it's "bye bye" and such. I have no clue what's going on. My bratty little sibling has been saying I was going out with him like..over a month or something (wow. time flies by!) But we aren't. Everyone in my family knows about this guy and I just deny it, espeically when it's not true and having someone tease you when you do like this guy and he's not even with me! But yea. No reactions from my mom yet. My dad, he just keeps silent. I dunno. My mom seems okay if we do, but at the same time, if I do end up with my crush, I think she will have something to say. Regardless of how nice, smart and all the stuff he is.
You know what I realized. Those whose parents say that they should wait till after college or something, tend to be around 13 or 14. I swear my parents were like that before. Or at least they were kidding or something. But I'm 17 now, soon to be 18 earlier next year. But yea. Don't worry. You're still young. Like when I look back to all my crushes and stuff back when I was only 13 or 14, I can't believe that I even liked those guys or anything. It's not as real and such until you get older. |
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Nov 22 2005, 07:04 PM
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#27
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 </3 Group: Member Posts: 1,113 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 106,746 |
QUOTE(richc @ Nov 21 2005, 8:42 PM) they just say im too young Same here I'm 14 and said I cant date till I'm 16. I have a bf and what they don't know wont hurt them.  I know its not right but I really like him.
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| *Programmer* |
Nov 22 2005, 07:08 PM
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#28
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don't worry there will come a day where you wil thank them....you forget they were once children to...
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