Ex-boyfriend is flirting with my friend Options

[Little Bird]

Hey,

Last year I had this boyfriend who I couldn't stand by the end of the relationship (despite that I told him I would still be his friend). He was upset over our break up over the summer and I could tell that at the beginning of the year he still liked me a little.

Now I always see him flirting with my friend who likes him at play practice. When I first noticed that it made me really angry. I didn't understand it. I don't love the guy and going out with him was the worst choice I ever made so why is this making me so angry? I also feel like there is something I have to win but I don't know what it is. I've come up with a few solutions.

1: Maybe I still have this idea that he belongs to me or something because when I see them flirting it feels so surreal.

2: I feel like I've been winning since June (the break-up). Since I haven't really liked him at all since our relationship ended I feel like I had power over someone I don't like and that is satisfying. However, if he is over me for sure, I've lost. But I don't kbnow what I'm trying to win.

3: He might be trying to get back at me for the break-up by flirting with my friend (and soon going out with her).

Maybe it is one of these, or maybe it's all of them. I don't know exactly what it is yet so if someone could please give me some more ideas that mght be nice.

I really want to know who else has ever felt this way before. I want to take the high road and let my friend go out with him but I don't know how to get over this anger. Do you guys think I'm being a total brat over nothing or is this natural? I've never had a boyfriend go out with my friend before.

[c4rL4]

i think youre just actin that way because maybe you feel lonely.
and because he's flirtin with your friend instead of you and sometime you just feel like you want something that you cant have.. and youre askin for it back when you had it. riightts?

maybe that could be it. its just one of my experiences. i think. =\
anywayss, hope that helps.

[miixxtapelove]

I'd say your first guess is closet. After having a relationship with someone it's always weird to see them with another person whether or not you still have feelings for them. It's pretty normal I think. I know alot of people that get like that about ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends. It's nothing to worry about.

[topsyturvy]

I think all three are true. It's not really his fault for getting back at you now, remember you were the one who broke up with him.

[Little Bird]

Thank's everyone. I'm glad its just natural. As for that whole "getting back at me" thing, you're right, I broke up with him. Maybe I'm just a bit paranoid about it because I only really think that because I see a pattern. A few years ago he went out with one girl, she dumped him, he went out with an aquaintence of hers. That girl dumped him, then he went out with me, I was aquaintences with that girl too. Now he's relly flirty with my friend.

I also kind of think that because it might be that he is a total liar. I was told that he had anal with his girlfriend before me by her friend. Then he told me that it wasn't true. Then I asked around, everyone else who had talked to the girl about it said it was true. I asked one of his guy friends and he said there is a lot of sick stuff that I don't want to know about him. The point is his stories were always opposite from his past girlfriends and I don't know who to believe but I'm pretty sure that I'm going to choose everyone elses side over his.

This whole entire thing makes me angry for two reasons.
a) he might have been using me and lying to me
b) he might be doing that to my friend.

Listen, I really do love my friend, and I do want to see her happy. If this is the guy that makes her happy then so be it. I'm not angry at her, I'm angry at him.

[DrEaMgUy2K1]

1. Relationships isnt about winning or losing.
2. Just beause you hate him doesnt mean things wont work with ur friend and him.
3. its normal for you take hate an ex for trying to hook up with a friend

The best thing u can do is warn your friend if hes a bad guy or not. dont cock block him

[mouse_3k]

well u DID break up with him, what is he suppose to do? Kill himself? Make himself have no life. he moved on. If u didnt want to feel what u felt now, u shouldnt have broke up wit him.

[Little Bird]

You guys are right, I just really need to be mature about this and get over it. Thank's for you help.

[babygurl_xtacy]

well u DID break up with him, what is he suppose to do? Kill himself? Make himself have no life. he moved on. If u didnt want to feel what u felt now, u shouldnt have broke up wit him.

^ she knows what shes talking about.

[sheepy]

well i think it's either 1 or 3. if oyu dont like him maybe you should just try to over look it and the feeling will go away soon as long as you occupy yourself with other things.

[LittleLulu]

its totaly normal

...probably the exact same thing happened to me..except my ex ended up dating my best friend. n i had this whole feud with my ex for it. but then i found someone else and it just didn't matter to me anymore. it just takes a while to get used to. i was really pissed off at first but as i said i got over it pretty quick.

[waccoon]

Kick him in the nuts to teach him a lesson. <3