Should I try to help my friend?, or leave it alone for her to work out... Options

[miz_sunshine]

Ok here's what's happening:
Lately my friend's been eating NOTHING at all! Ok maybe like a cracker something but that's it!! She says she's fat and overweight but she's underweight and she joined the track team to try and lose more fat! I'm trying to convince her to eat something but she just won't.

Then one day she told us the reason she was going on this crazy diet of hers. She said her parents and cousins called her fat and that her dad wouldn't let her eat dinner! He won't even let her eat a piece of bread when she's home and she thinks he's right in doing that and now she's not letting herself eat lunch and breakfast. Me and my her other friends are worried about her getting malnourished or something but we don't know what to do....

so...do I just leave it alone for someone else to work on it or keep trying to help her? I know you hear a lot of this going on in people's lives but she's been talking about how useless she is and she's been talking about death. A LOT might i add. She once even said how she could climb on her roof so easily and jump down. her parents are actually supporting this diet of hers!

A little advice please!

[topsyturvy]

I think your friend is needs a bit of help. She's clearly anorexic and suicidal. Perhaps you can keep talking to her about things that can build her self esteem, or if that doesn't help, tell someone (perhaps a female teacher; i don't really trust her parents since they called her fat).

On the other hand, she could be another one of those attention whores who love to stir up drama about their weight and looks just to get compliments.

[NgocQuyen]

I think your friend is needs a bit of help.  She's clearly anorexic and suicidal.  Perhaps you can keep talking to her about things that can build her self esteem, or if that doesn't help, tell someone (perhaps a female teacher; i don't really trust her parents since they called her fat).

On the other hand, she could be another one of those attention whores who love to stir up drama about their weight and looks just to get compliments.

lols yess...true true...agreed..made my typing a whole lot easier because i was going to say the same thing...not exact..but similar

[seremela_culnamo]

I have been through this before, but I'm not that skinny. I'm normal. But there were points when I have felt so depressed, I wouldn't eat. My friends actually tried to shove food into my mouth at school & my suicidal problems, it's better now. Nothing is worth my death. Anyway, I'm going off topic.

I don't think you should do anything towards your friend that could result in making her think that you want to control her life. If you do, she will feel more useless since she believes that she's at the point when she can't make her own decisions and such. So I think that all you could right now, is be there for her. At least that way, she wouldn't commit suicide and as time flies by, hopefully she will begin eating. Confront her about how you feel. Really, if she's that skinny and such, shouldn't she notice that it's not right for let's just say for an example, some 5'7 girl who weights only 90 pounds? I hope you get what I mean. & really, I'm guessing that your friend is also a teenager, so yea. Tell her to eat a bit. Even if she doesn't eat a lot, at least try to eat small portions of foods that meet the daily requirements of everyone's daily needs. Start off slow and hopefully she will begin to eat again.

About her family issue about not allowing her to eat, that's so wrong >< I'm not sure what to do there, but you can always ask the school counsellor or something. Obviously without any names being mentioned or call the kids help phoneline. Whatever it takes to save a friend, it's worth it =] That way it will be safer from revealing everything about you and your friend.

Even though my advices don't seem that strong to me, I hope it helps. I friend of my best friends who doesn't go to the same school but goes to church with her, ran into the exactly the same problem with your friend's diet problem. She started dieting and everyone told her how great she looked. She she went off food completely and nobody could get her to eat anything. Months passed and she eventually ended up in the hopsital. She barely had any muscles left and she had the chance of dying. So yea, seriously, just be there for your friend. Try to get help, but not at the point that will push her suicidal thoughts even further. & seriously, who wants to die in a painful way of having to suffer for months? & I think her parents can get into trouble if they don't feed their children. It's not like she told them to do so, right? They are just encouraging her to lose even more weight. & in the end, if anything happens to your friend (let's hope not!), her parents could seriously be held responsible. Afterall, if her parents don't even care and such, who else would? Well other than her friends and people, but parents are the ones who has the "most power". I hope you get what I mean.

& you know what? By the time your friend is over the suicidal period (hopefully!) but still hasn't solved her aneroxic problem, you can encourage her by saying stuff like it won't be worth it in the future. My mom and I discuss about these issues, especially when we talk about people here. Especially the asians and the celebrities. They don't eat and crap (no, I'm not like that! yumm, food =D). In the end, they would regret it in the future. My grandma and my mom's two friends, they both had dietry problems in the past. & now, they are both still so skinny and their health aren't good. My grandma, her health is okay. But my mom's friends, I have never seen either of them get fat or anything. They are both tired and always taking medicines and pills. Definately not worth it. Apparently the worst age to diet would be during the adolescent years because that's when your body is maturing - ie. the two women, they have a harder time of giving birth.

Keep me updated if anything happens. Just send me a message or anything. Or if you just need more advice.

[misoshiru]

whoa, your friend definately needs help. if she won't listen to you, then you should tell a counselor at school. because, then they'll have the power to intervene with her parents.