A few things that an ignorant guy needs clarifyed Options

[DEbmxer553]

Mmk....well I've been single for a LONG time and all and I finally got the guts back up to ask this girl out and she said yes....that was 2 weeks ago...I really really really like her and I think she thinks the same of me....but like its complicated. See i'm just an ignorant guy and I dont understand girls in the least bit so I'm kind of confused and yea....well

1:Whenever I go to kiss her which has been twice so far once last night and once the first night we started goin out ...well evrytime i go to kiss her she wont let me kiss her on the lips....she turns her cheek and only lets me kiss her there. Now she is only 14 and she said that she hasnt gotten far at all with a guy so im thinkin a few things....
A:shes never been kissed b4 and is nervous to do so
B:she doesnt really like me anymore
C: i dont know
I dunno its probaly nothing but eh....I mean its only been 2 weeks wats the rush


2:There's this guy who likes her and keeps messing with her and its really gettin on my nerves. She used to like him in middle school last year and well he was an a-hole to her then and now she doesnt like him and he likes her and he keeps flirtin with her when im not around and i mean she tells me and all but like it still pisses me off i dunno wat to do....should i do the typical guy thing and go after him or wat. I mean KNOW she doesnt like him but ive had a bad experience with this sort of thing b4 and well yea so now im like totally paranoid. And im just totally out of ideas...but i swear if he ever touches her anywhere i am going after him no questions asked but i mean until that happens wat can i do to prevent that?


3: I really thinks shes like depressed...like when shes around me shes all cheery and happy and all when we r one on one. and shes like that with her friends from middle school and all but when we r in school not alone and when she types on her xanga...she seems all depressed like on her xanga she was all sayin she hates the school and evry1 hates her and all and she never once mentioned any of that to me...i think she misses her middle school firends and all and i dont no wat to do....i dunno if she is depressed....idk....all i want to do is make her happy.....


4:I like got her grounded last night bcuz i got her home late and she didnt even no she had to be home by 10 and i like feel i should make it up to her somehow wat do you guys think i should do to make it up to her? Like i no i alredy made like a topic about somethin nice but I told her im sorry so many times and i just feel the need to make it up to her. But yea i think thats all and b4 ne1 is like its not worth it ...... yes it is....i really really really like her....

[cuul_gurl]

yeah....14 is young...she likes u, not to worry...maybe she's just a bit scared of kissing u, coz all girls are scared to kiss in the beginning...she'll get used to it..just dnt push her too much...as for the other guy, u need not worry if she doesnt like him...if he troubles her too much and u feel she needs u...go for it..she'll come to u for help if she is bothered by another guy...
the mere fact that she tells u that she misses middle school...means she feels comfortable with u...in sharing her views with u...u r a source of comfort for her...that is a thumbs up my man....
she's urs...
ALL THE BEST!

[DEbmxer553]

well no see she didnt tell me she missed middle school and all that stuff i read that on her xanga

[toodlepops.]

OHMAHGAH. That was a hard post to read.
But anyways,

1. She's just 14 and she's being careful. I mean, that's what I would do. She probably thinks you're doing it too fast. Or maybe she has had a some bad experiences before, I don't know.

2. I'm guessing this guy who flirts with her is around her age, no? If so, I wouldn't worry too much. Boys will be boys no matter what. But if you have evidence that he has been harassing her or something, you should tell some one appropriate.

3. This writing about xanga thing is probably to sound "cool". Or maybe she really does feel that way but just didn't tell you. I mean, it has only been 2 weeks. I wouldn't open up to someone so fast, either.

4. Bring her flowers. And chocolate. And say I'm sorry.
It always does the job.

[Hiphop d[-_-]b]

1. Maybe she doesnt want to kiss you on the lips yet. It could be shes waiting for a deeper feeling in the relationship. Or she hasnt been kissed yet and is nervous. You could gently take her chin in your hand and GENTLY kiss her on the lips. Dont like rip off her chin and attack her with your lips.

2. Talk to the guy calmly. Tell him to back up off your girl :D

3. Just be there for her. Make her smile and laugh. If she doesnt tell you she just may not be ready to let you in on her darker matters in her life.

4. Bring her flowers & chocolate [ like the above said ]
Althought that seems a little overdoing... Hmm . Maybe a single rose and chocolate. Yeea .

[Ington]

yeah....14 is young...she likes u, not to worry...maybe she's just a bit scared of kissing u, coz all girls are scared to kiss in the beginning...she'll get used to it..just dnt push her too much...as for the other guy, u need not worry if she doesnt like him...if he troubles her too much and u feel she needs u...go for it..she'll come to u for help if she is bothered by another guy...
the mere fact that she tells u that she misses middle school...means she feels comfortable with u...in sharing her views with u...u r a source of comfort for her...that is a thumbs up my man....
she's urs...
ALL THE BEST!

Okay, thats way too positive to be able to believe.

I think she likes you and all, but yeah. She is being tempted by the guy. Maybe not tempted enough to act on it, but definitely tempted enough to start thinking about it.

You have to be assertive. Don't beat around the bush, ask her why she's depressed on her site. Ask her why she doesn't want to kiss. You have to communicate with her, or your relationship will drift away until you don't even like each other.

By assertive, I don't mean rash or uncaring. I meant to just talk to her about it. And don't attempt to kiss her again until you do.

And don't think the fact she hasn't done it before is a good reason why she didn't accept your kisses. When I started going out with my girlfriend, who is also 14, she hadn't kissed anyone before either. However, in about a week's time, we were making out in my basement. Also, I've been single for a long time before this too, other than two girlfriends, who cheated on me in strange, cruel ways. Mkay.

[Chii]

1.) just kiss her on the cheek from now on. she's probably just shy and/or uncomfortable about kissing since she hasn't had that much experience with guys. girls want those kind of moments to be perfect.

2.) the thing is...you're just dating her. you're not her boyfriend so you can't really "claim" her.

3.) we all have our moments, xanga is just a place for people to vent. she probably just doesn't want to tell you so you won't freak out. just try talking to her about it.

4.) i believe that flowers say that you're sorry. ooo, if you can, find a really nice looking fake rose (not cheap plastic) so it won't die. throw in a little card too (write something sweet in the card but not too much because after all, it's only been 2 weeks).

[*mipadi*]

2.) the thing is...you're just dating her. you're not her boyfriend so you can't really "claim" her.

I got the impression that they were together as a couple (not that it matters a whole lot).

[DEbmxer553]

Yea...mipadi is right...I am her boyfriend....we're not just dating.

[sheepy]

okay first of all 14 i guess is pretty young, although im 14 myself. and it's just two weeks, if she's not comfortable with that then.. maybe you're just moving too fast. slow it down a little, dont give her the impression that you're just a perverted kid who wants her that way.
and are you 100% sure that she doesnt like him? maybe you should approach him manly and not with acusation. just talk to him or her about it and tell her how you feel. cmon dude, its all about COMMUNICATION.
okay it really sounds like she's depressed and she's just putting an act up for you when you guys are alone, or maybe she's just happy when she's with you. so, why dont you stop reading this right now and talk to her [call her up, online, anything] and ask about her life and what's wrong. i think you should be the first to know whats bothering her, and if you dont then maybe the relationship's foundation just isnt strong enough.
and if you got her grounded, she might be a bit annoyed at you. and you know what girls really dont like? boys that say sorry and dont do anything about it. so yes, make it up to her.

[mai_z]

Ok, she's only 14, and you've only been going out for 2 weeks, give her some time. Maybe she's just not ready to kiss you yet. Plus, if she's never kissed anyone, she's probably afraid, no one wants to screw up their first kiss.
About the other guy thing, trust your girlfriend. If anything does happen, deal with it then, there's no use being scared over something that is only hypothetical.
Lastly, just be nice to her, and try and get her to open up to you. Eventually she'll be able to trust you and you'll know why things are bothering her. Perhaps she has depression...or maybe she doesn't, you won't really know until she opens up to you.

[Chii]

Yea...mipadi is right...I am her boyfriend....we're not just dating.

then confront the guy about it. guys shouldn't be playing around like that with a girl who's taken.

[EmmalieV]

Maybe she just wants you to go slow , so go superr slow. Thats how it was for me when I was younger I didnt want to most too fast.

[DEbmxer553]

Pfft!! Why does the same stuff always happen to me.....see this guy that likes her, they both stay after school for different sports and I dont start stayin after till the winter for wrestling...but anyway a while back he asked to walk home with her and well thats wat happened.... Well so she didnt no if she had a ride today and i told her to call me and that i wuld come and get her if she didnt have a ride. So i call her like 10 minutes ago to make sure and well she says in a pissed off tone....i wuldnt have walked home with him anyway....then i say i know u wuldnt i just wanted to make sure u got home safe...and so shes like o then after like one more minute we hung up....so now shes pissed bcuz i care....why do girls get pissed when u friggin care....it happens all the time with me...and yea ur all probaly gonna be like well dont accuse her, see im not....i totally trust her....its him i dont trust....

[crazlunatic]

what is with this style of writing?

Maybe you're being too over-protective?

[zoe_loves_you]

1. most girls scared to kiss the first time.

2. that guy is retarded. he probably just wants the attn. that she used to give him when she liked him. and if he really liked her, he'd probably respect the fact that she has someone else and has moved on. so dont worry, shes with you now and not with him period.

3. i can be like the way she is. all cheery for a while and then become melancholy. i think i have bi polar but thats just me. the reason she might talk online like shes depressed is because in her mind thats how she feels but doesnt want to explain that in front of someone. its easier for me and many other people to say things online than it is to say things in real life. but it also might be because she does those things to be cool and its just totally not her personality at all and so she doesnt change her actions and is just what she considers "cool" online where its easier to fix what you say.

4. WE LOVE CHOCOLATE, buy it. its the bestest. oor go shopping WITH her.. or do something she enjoys WITH her.. but pretty much anything that can be done WITH her is awesome possum.

[cLinT_wEStw0oD]

then confront the guy about it. guys shouldn't be playing around like that with a girl who's taken.

Yes, confront him...but if you talk to him and hes cool with it, then great, but if he gives you an attitude (I don't mean to sound like a bad person or anything like that)...beat his ass down. Sometimes its necessary...and if you're running the risk of loosing a girl you really like to him...do it. Unless you can't. Then its a diffrent story.

[LittleLulu]

k so 1-theres nothing to worry about. shes nervous. i know i was when i had my first kiss. and it was about a month after me n my ex started dating

2-confront the guy. and talk to her telling her how u feel. us girls are fairly understandable.

3-its weird when you start dating someone...i remember how i'd cry every night a while after i started dating my ex. no particular reason. i was always so happy to see him. he'd always make my day. and i'd be glad to be with my friends. but when i was alone i'd just be so depressed. mostly at night. i guess u could try to talk to her about it. but..theres not much that can be done. she'll get over it. i know i did.

4-i know she wouldn't blame you. but be a "nice guy" and do something nice for her as an apology. she'd be really happy.

[much2muse]

about the kissing thing... i think everyones scared to kiss the first time. what you could do about it: reassure her shes not going to be bad at it and even if she was that you wouldnt care.. youd like her no matter what. and that you're not completely good at it either (even if you are , lol), and dont pressure her into anything, take it slow. i havent kissed anyone yet so thats how i would feel and want someone to do. lol. you could go about it by asking her how she feels about kissing maybe?

[EyeOfTheTiger5]

If another guy does that to me, I feel like I've got the right to kick the shit out of him, or at least rough him up a bit.

Alright now that's a bit harsh... but talk to him about it, and if he doesn't let up then put your foot down (figuratively) and sock him in the gut (NOT figuratively, *cackle*). Don't try it if he's bigger than you are :)... I don't have to worry much though, in sophomore year and 5'11" not many dudes will try much around meh >:-)

And to your other question... us guys will always take messages like that to mean "OMG, SHE DOESN'T LIKE ME!" even though that's not true, at all. You're (and you're not alone) overreacting to her way of saying "I'm nervous, wait up a bit!"

Just chill out with it and make yourself open to whatever she wants to say about it. If she doesn't talk to you, (use good judgment) and maybe bring it up to her, if it seems like you should.

Hope that helps, bud :)

[topsyturvy]

us guys will always take messages like that to mean "OMG, SHE DOESN'T LIKE ME!" even though that's not true, at all.  You're (and you're not alone) overreacting to her way of saying "I'm nervous, wait up a bit!"

Nicely put.