a poignant thought, Poem about unrequited love.. please read |
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a poignant thought, Poem about unrequited love.. please read |
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#1
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Newbie ![]() Group: Member Posts: 6 Joined: Sep 2005 Member No: 247,145 ![]() |
A Poignant Thought
Sometimes you can do nothing but wish, and to hope, and to pray that something will finally go your way like him falling in love with you, yet you know it might never happen, but you still believe, and put all your faith in God, to help you move along with your life, and to not break down in the middle of a song, and you still can't help but look at him, and how impeccable he is in almost every way, the way he laughs, smiles, talks, and how he looks at her like she means everything in the world to him, and somehow your heart breaks down, and you can no longer continue running, running away from everything you ever knew. Please comment, don't be afraid to criticize ![]() |
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#2
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![]() Yawn ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 9,530 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 65,772 ![]() |
I think you did a pretty good job on it :)
Not bad at all! But the way you placed the words on the lines... are a little bit off... "of a song, and you still can't help but look at him, and how impeccable he is in almost every way, the way he" you see? it kinda breaks ur train of thought halfway through and causes more confusion for the writer. but besides that, i liked it :) good job |
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