How do you deal, when all your parents do is argue? Options

[PrettyBrownEyez3]

How do you cope when all your family does is argue, argue, and argue some more? Then you get dragged into it, and get your feelings hurt...

It's just pissing me off. Long story short, my dad has double standards for himself. He can do what no one else can. All he tells my mom is that he's going out and will be back in about an hour. He didn't come back until about 8, when he called at about 4 or 5 (plus he comes in tipsy). But he knew we had plans to do something, but he doesn't care. Not to mention, he tells my mom that he doesn't keep track of time, he can take care of himself. But if me and my mom go out, and say we'll be back at 11, 11:01 he's calling, asking us why we aren't home yet. I don't know how the hell to cope with this anymore. For all i know, he can be cheating on my mom. He yells at me for almost anything now. I don't know what i'm supposed to do.

Gawd, i feel like an idiot for posting this now

[Chii]

talk to him about it. he's never going to change if you don't speak up about it...try to get your mom to with you but don't get mad because yelling at each other never works.

[PrettyBrownEyez3]

We do. We have. But it doesn't end up anywhere other than him saying that it's not true, and he doesn't care. He starts yelling, we all start yelling, he calls me a baby for crying out of anger. We've tried to fix it countless times. It also ends up that one of them leaves the house and doesn't come back till late at night. It's like, a no win situation with him.

[Chii]

that's horrible...i don't really know what to say. i've never been in a situation like that...

i hope things get better for you

[PrettyBrownEyez3]

Thanks =\

[H0t.P1nk.L1p5]

Man.....that is shit...and I understand your situation....well....after fighting....I go to my room.....listen to music...angry or really calm..I also write poems and stuff. I think you need to get him professional help..if he's hurt your mom and you in anyway. Especially if talking doesn't work.

[H0t.P1nk.L1p5]

also.....how long has this been going on? .....is it something between your parents? like issues they need to work out. money..something?

[coconutter]

Talk to them.

Communication.

[demolished]

^
Didnt you read the rest of the post. it didnt help them by communicating.

[PrettyBrownEyez3]

Man.....that is shit...and I understand your situation....well....after fighting....I go to my room.....<a  style='text-decoration: none; border-bottom: 3px double;' href="http://www.serverlogic3.com/lm/rtl3.asp?si=24&k=listen%20to%20music" onmouseover="window.status='listen to music'; return true;" onmouseout="window.status=''; return true;">listen to music</a>...angry or really calm..I also write poems and stuff. I think you need to get him professional help..if he's hurt your mom and you in anyway. Especially if talking doesn't work.

No, he's never hit me or my mom. You can be sure of that. Honestly, thats what i usually do. I write a lot, and blast my music. I just wish there was a way to end all of it. As for the professional help, i highly doubt he's agree to that. Thats what i'm saying, it seems theres no way to fix this. I'll suggest it to my mom. Maybe she'll agree to it and get him to come somehoe. Thanks.

As for how long its been going on... For awhile. But its been more frequent lately. I don't know if it's anything between them, though my mom sometimes complains that he never takes her out anywhere, but i don't think thats all there is to it.

[xscore]

eh. i know how it feels.
when my parents argue, i usually just lock myself in my room and cover my ears and pray to God that they stop.
it's the most horrible thing to hear your own parents fight.

[Cwlplover]

My parents have been divorced since I was five, and they argue a lot...Not as much as they used to, but over money, things get crazy. And I have to be in the middle of it, because they're not mature enough to just talk to each other like civilized people. So yeah...It's hard, but I just try to stay out of it as much as possible and tell them that I don't want to be a part of it.

[krispy_kreme333]

My parent have been divorced since i was 4. they used to fight alot on the phone, but now they dont as much. When they did fight, it was always over the phone, and my mom made sure that i was never around to hear it, but sometimes i was. It sucks, but there isnt a whole lot i can do about it.

i wish i knew how to help you, but i dont. im sorry. parents fighting sucks.

[*iNyCxShoRT*]

Your post reminds me of the song how to deal. But anyway back to advice for you, well maybe next time he goes out tell him that you want to hang out with him. Or ask him if he can come home early, and just for the heck of it leave some messages on his phone. "Dad, I can't wait to go (insert activity) this afternoon. Please come home soon." That will make him feel guilty and that may have a better chance of him coming home. My parents are divorced and I guess its kinda better, because the fighting has stopped. Although they're still friends, they love me just not each other. Try showing your dad some affection, give him a hug every time he goes to work. Hope that works!

[mouse_3k]

when my parents fight, i dont care. its nothing special to me. well they divorced a while ago but I dont really care.

[ParanoidAndroid]

I can barely imagine what you go through. The only fight I've been was with my sister. Never with my parents. I know it might be not much help but I do wish you a better future with your family. I just hope this doesn't influence you in a bad way.

[carter14]

I have been in this situation a lot of my life and have had to deal with my mom putting me in the middle of it and i know how much it sucks. As far as dealing with it i usually write and blast some music. I think the most important though is to have someone to talk to about it( not neccasarily in the family). I think you need to be able to talk about it and show how you feel about it at least sometimes. I didnt have that and now i am so messed up and its so hard for me to show how i feel because i got so used to hiding it. Trust me you dont want that. Good Luck
Mary

[PrettyBrownEyez3]

Thank you guys a lot. All the advice helped and gave me a piece of mind. Thanks soo much.
Any other people that have more advice, continue posting. It would be greatly appreciated And thanks again.