Premarital Sex, Yes or No? Options

[AngelinaTaylor]

But if you REALLY loved someone wouldn't you wait and get married? It's not worth it... the ultimate expression of love is giving someone your virginity... and then you break up eventually?

I personally don't want to get married until I'm 30-35. Why would I not share the "ultimate expression of love" with the person I'm with right now if I'm in love? Why wait over 10 years? Besides, there are other ways to express love.. in deeper ways. Like dedicating a concert to someone =)

[S-Majere]

Oh sweetheart, sex rarely ends up being the "ultimate expression love". You only live once, don't deny yourself pleasure to give a guy (unlikely he will be a virgin too)your "sacred" gift.

Whoa, enough of the patronising tones, my dear.

Now, taking the tack of only living once: why live with a mistake? Better to look back upon a life lived responsibly and morally than one lived simply for pleasures of the flesh. Your call though.

Sex is traditionally the 'ultimate expression of love'; and I do wonder about you if you think a concert has any more meaning that making love. Strange.

[AngelinaTaylor]

Whoa, enough of the patronising tones, my dear.

Now, taking the tack of only living once: why live with a mistake? Better to look back upon a life lived responsibly and morally than one lived simply for pleasures of the flesh. Your call though.

Sex is traditionally the 'ultimate expression of love'; and I do wonder about you if you think a concert has any more meaning that making love. Strange.

Of course it does. Call me weird, but performing a two-hour recital for me is much deeper than having sex. You say much more with a piece of music.

[S-Majere]

Must have been terrible sex, that's all I'm saying!

[AngelinaTaylor]

So I expect you know what it's like to perform on stage on a brand new Steinway, in a hall in front of 500 people? =) I don't expect you to agree with me, because you haven't been where I've been. The sex was amazing, fyi. Not like you'd know, though.. =)

[S-Majere]

So I expect you know what it's like to perform on stage on a brand new Steinway, in a hall in front of 500 people? =) I don't expect you to agree with me, because you haven't been where I've been. The sex was amazing, fyi. Not like you'd know, though.. =)

I'm calling you out on this one as I've done a fair share of theatre and amateur acting work in the past.

I wouldn't know, no. But if that was better than I feel disappointed already...

[MissHygienic]

I'm an unmarried non-virgin, and I don't really think too much of it. I've only genuinely liked two guys in my life, so I don't regret giving myself up. Sex, to me, isn't about the sacredness of my body. It's about engaging in something intimate you can't do with your friends (or as romantically, at least, if that's your thing), and it's in that moment two people can feel as if they've let their guards down and they're focused only on each other.

I'm not married but that's because I don't believe marriage means anything important other than reduced taxes, a contract, and a few vows because divorce is always an option.

My friend's mom always told my friend and I to never marry a guy you can't look in the face when you're having sex. Sad, shallow, but great wisdom she held.

[AngelinaTaylor]

I'm calling you out on this one as I've done a fair share of theatre and amateur acting work in the past.

I wouldn't know, no. But if that was better than I feel disappointed already...

Amateur acting is different than being a professional musician..

I shouldn't even try explaining this. Sex is something amazing when shared between two people in love. But I'm saying that performing for me is something more emotional.. I don't think I should be comparing the two. My initial statement was supposed to mean that sex isn't the only "ultimate" way to express your love for someone. And there's nothing wrong with having it when you're with someone who means so much to you.

[EddieV]

SEX IS GREAT! I need some.

[flashdancex]

Kay fine whatever. I just think that sex is something not to be thrown away lightly. It shouldn't be just because you love the feeling.

Valid points though

[AngelinaTaylor]

Kay fine whatever. I just think that sex is something not to be thrown away lightly. It shouldn't be just because you love the feeling.

Valid points though

Of course. One of my (dumb) friends lost her virginity to her first boyfriend on their first date because she thought "that's what people do".......

[1angel3]

Yeah, but what if you're in love? Actually in love, not one of those idiotic teenage relationships where you're together for three months. You may not always end up marrying the one you were crazily in love with. Maybe some people won't get married at all. Why dictate a specific lifestyle? People are different.

If we're in love, we will get married and then have sex. If the guy loves me for me he will wait for me.

[MissFits]

I said it earlier in this post (I think) but it's a good idea to try it before you buy it.
I understand the religious aspect and if you are really that devout, that's cool.
I just think that if you are engaged, been together for years, and are really going to spend your life together you deserve some sexy time. It's letting your guard down completely, and relationships change after having sex.
What if you marry a man that only wants sex once a month but you want it every day? You can say that it'd be okay, but sex is important and after 50 years of getting it 12 (maybe more if you get extra on holidays) times a year someone is going to find a way to relieve that tension.

[brooklyneast05]

What if you marry a man that only wants sex once a month

[MissFits]

What's that face for?
I'm sure it happens...

[brooklyneast05]

lol, yeah, possibly

[MissFits]

But, the point remains.
If you have drastically different sex drives it's not good.

[MrStrife]

I was raised in town where sexual promiscousness prowls around almost every corner and most of my homegirls were HOmegirls. Still I treated them like the good friends they are. At one point in my life, I even forgot about the idea that sex was not to be had before marriage. But yeah, sex is an important factor in any relationship and if you're talking about a lifelong commitment, it should be the best. So like they say, practice, practice, practice. Safe sex, of course.

[S-Majere]

I was raised in town where sexual promiscousness prowls around almost every corner and most of my homegirls were HOmegirls. Still I treated them like the good friends they are. At one point in my life, I even forgot about the idea that sex was not to be had before marriage. But yeah, sex is an important factor in any relationship and if you're talking about a lifelong commitment, it should be the best. So like they say, practice, practice, practice. Safe sex, of course.

Not really. If you marry someone, you have the rest of your lives to practise and catch up with everyone else that threw it away first date style-y.

[MissFits]

I say stylie all the time! I have never seen anyone else use it!

[transcendentalis...]

Of course. One of my (dumb) friends lost her virginity to her first boyfriend on their first date because she thought "that's what people do".......

that could possibly the dumbest thing i've heard of.

If we're in love, we will get married and then have sex. If the guy loves me for me he will wait for me.

good sunday school answer

What if you marry a man that only wants sex once a month

no such animal.

---

i'm going to have to side with angelinataylor here, but add on that performing a solos and duet concert with that one guy... or even just rehearsing sometimes, to me, can be a lot more intimate than sex.

i don't mean orchestral rehearsals or bogus, i mean those foreverlong rehearsals with just you and the other person, perfecting something you both love together. i don't think anything else in the world can contest all the work you put into that, for the other person, for yourself, for the music.

i don't know how to put any of this.

[Sandraaa]

If we're in love, we will get married and then have sex. If the guy loves me for me he will wait for me.

OMG. The number of times I've heard this line. If you choose to wait for 'your husband till death do you part' fine. There are people who choose not to. I, personally, do NOT want to get married. So what should I do? Become a nun? No, hun.
Sex is passionate, intimate, yadi yada. I don't see why you need marriage to be passionate. Love doesn't = marriage. This is where you guys are really wrong.

Keeping yourselves for ONE guy or for marraige is good but don't condemn those that don't. =)

[AngelinaTaylor]

OMG. The number of times I've heard this line. If you choose to wait for 'your husband till death do you part' fine. There are people who choose not to. I, personally, do NOT want to get married. So what should I do? Become a nun? No, hun.
Sex is passionate, intimate, yadi yada. I don't see why you need marriage to be passionate. Love doesn't = marriage. This is where you guys are really wrong.

Keeping yourselves for ONE guy or for marraige is good but don't condemn those that don't. =)

Exactly.

[S-Majere]

There's no condemnation here. Only a mild eyebrow raise.

[Bitterissweet]

I think it's okay. Most people say "no" but they do it themselves anyway. Do they not believe in what they say?