Premarital Sex, Yes or No? Options

[mznikki]

I had been having sex since I was 16 and I've recently decided to become a born again virgin because the bible says that that is God's intention. Sex is God's gift and it is not meant to be used until you find that perfect partner and after you are married.

So I say, no, premarital sex is not ok. And I think two people can be even more intimate and more trusting of each other if they hold off on sex. Once sex comes into the picture, all these problems and trust issues start coming up... it's not worth it... plus it's probably a message from God that you're doing something wrong.

same here, and if you really love the person you can wait.

[alannajean]

In my opinion, I think it's okay if you plan to spend the rest of your lives with that one person. I lost mine to my now husband over a year and a half ago and it's worked out for me since we weren't married at the time.

I can't stand the people that go out and get drunk though and have one night stands. Those are the people that should wait, but really its everyones own choice. You can't tell someone they can't have sex before marriage. So it's in the bible and God is against it, that doesn't really change the free will of any person.

[Stefanny]

nope, i'll agree with anything xquizit says on this topic.

[AngelinaTaylor]

Ok.

If we leave "god" out of it, why is premarital sex wrong? Someone care to elaborate? :)

[QueenAkahsa]

I don't believe much in god, and the bible and what not.
So, I find it quite ok.
I mean, people say it's immoral and unethical, but I don't see how, much?
It's like.. intimate, what your partner and yourself do together. Should you choose to have sex, do it?
I've never been against such things, besides think about this.
Say you get married, and your husband sucks in bed.
What then?
Besides, sex is not a sin, it's a mere pleasure, which makes a relationship complete?
Like the ultimate act of love.
That's how I see it.
Of course, I do not agree with having sex with everybody, just your lover, when you are ready, yadda yadda.

[AngelinaTaylor]

Mhm.

I just feel sorry for people who have allowed themselves to be so manipulated by religion. It's quite astonishing.

But hey, it's your life.

I still want someone to answer my question.

[orgasm]

I'm a Christian and I don't really have a problem with premarital sex. I personally think that so many people have taken the Bible and distorted it's words. They've put meanings behind them that restrict people and make everything like a sin.

THE ONLY TIME IN THE ENTIRE BIBLE SEX AND MARRIAGE ARE RECOMMENDED (I'm serious, the only time) is when Paul was addressing the Romans I think (dont hold me to that i forgot). they were having sex rituals in these temples and Paul was like, dude, if you gotta f**k so much, please, take a wife. Now, I don't know about you, but God is pretty direct in the bible. Don't steal, don't cheat, don't lie, etc etc. Why did God never say flat out, don't have sex outside of wedlock. Because that is a stigma brought about years after the bible was written. People feared sex so much, that it became this evil thing. Much like alcohol, (let us remember Jesus' first miracle, turn water to wine) sex is only dangerous when abused. and people abused it needless to say. And so the leaders of the church, like they have been known to do throughout history, manipulated the texts to say hese things. The Verses they use to support this aren't even in the same chapters. It goes to show you can make words mean anything. and its very true in this case.

I honestly believe that if God wanted sex to be so bad and it was so important to save for marriage, it would have been said there in black and white. Gods rules are so specific. Thats one reason I love to be a Christian. I can read the bible and I can understand what God wants from me. So why would God be so vague on this issue? i mean, the book of solomon is chock full of sexually explicit verses, so much that it was removed from the bible for a long period of time. This is what man has done. Just as man has made the gift of sex dirty, hurtful, and dangerous.

I agree with this because I've done some research myself.

I don't believe that having sex with somebody you love before you're married is immoral. The Bible says to keep away from sexual immorality when referring to prostitution, etc.

Sex is meant to be a beautiful thing and I DO believe that casual sex, prostitution, what have you is wrong. It completely degrades the meaning of sex. It becomes destructive, addictive, people think of it as absolutely nothing...

But if it's done with somebody you love, it's something wonderful.



Anyways... getting away from the religious aspect of it. Premarital sex can be harmful. After breakups and whatnot, a LOT of girls admit that they regret having sex with whoever or losing their virginity to whoever. So I think that people should be careful. Don't have sex until you're sure you're ready, whether that be after or before marriage.

[alysaphobia]

i think premartial sex is wrong when:

A. it happens between two people who don't love each other- if the girl got pregnant and the couple weren't in love, what would happen to the baby? maybe the girl would go through an abortion, which is another controversial issue altogether. or maybe the girl would be left alone to raise the baby; think how difficult her life would become. perhaps the couple would stick together to raise the baby anyways, but since they don't love each other, the situation would be pretty bad. and yeah, there is adoption, but basically the point is the child probably wouldn't be wanted between two people not in love.
B. when the couple engaging in sex are too young- (young meaning any age the person couldn't handle the complications of getting pregnant/getting their partner pregnant at.) i just think people who are like, 13/14 years old SHOULDN'T have sex. of course, there is a difference in maturity levels among teenagers, maybe they're in love and hey, maybe they've been with their partner for a while but... example, can 13 year olds really handle the risk of becoming pregnant? can they handle having and raising a child, given that abortion is not an option? can they accept the effect being a teenage parent will have on their life? then besides pregnancies, there's STDs; is this person going to be responsible enough to know what to do when he/she gets an STD?
C. when it goes against the person's religious beliefs- this is pretty straightforward. you believe what you believe.


on the other side, i think premartial sex is okay when:

A. the couple have discussed/know what to do when the female gets pregnant.
B. the couple love each other. not like a one night stand, the result of a drunk night or due to peer pressure.
C. the couple will be responsible and mature enough to be able to handle all the risks/complications of sex.

basically, i think it depends on the situation. if the couple are in love, they're mature enough and faithful to each other, yes, pre-martial sex will be okay.

[***Lucy**]

Ok..
I guess I'm the most horrible example a girl could take.
I had sex with my ex-bf when he was 15 and i was 13.
I got pregnant. He had told me that he loved me and he wouldn't leave me. But he left me, because he believed his friend who told him various lies about me.
I kept the baby and now I raise him with my brother.
I don't regret having sex with David(my ex) I loved him, I still love him and I know that at least he used to love me.

I don't believe in God. I lost my parents when I was very young (my mum died when I was 3 and my dad when I was 10). So as u can imagine my brother was too young(17) to take care of me but he managed to do ti really well.

I'm an awful example I know, but I think premarital sex is ok if the guy uses a condom and you are sure that you love him.

[tropicalchic]

Its everyones choice.

I believe its okay, I don't see why you need to have a piece of paper in order to have sex? It doesn't make sense. For me it is about love, trust and maturity. If you really love someone and feel old enough(maybe I should use mature again?) and want to do it for your own reasons (not because of pressure) then that is when it can be concidered.

[QueenAkahsa]

Mhm.

I just feel sorry for people who have allowed themselves to be so manipulated by religion. It's quite astonishing.

But hey, it's your life.

I still want someone to answer my question.

I would answer your question, but, then again I wouldn't agree with my own answer, so that's a bit hypocrite?

Anyway, I've heard people talking about full trust before giving yourself to somebody, aka have sex.
Also, they say that full trust can be acomplished by getting married.

Which I don't agree whatsoever, since marriage is mostly a formality? Nothing but a piece of paper with signatures on it?
I don't agree with marriage to begin with, I mean, why can we not live with somebody for ever without wearing a silly ring on our finger and their name? >.<
Spares us the problems if we choose to divorce?
So, yeah, "Sex before marriage" is such a cliche, if you ask me, because marriage itself is as well.
Then again, I'm an atheist.

[Stefanny]

Ok.

If we leave "god" out of it, why is premarital sex wrong? Someone care to elaborate? :)

You're not completely devoted to your partner. You're not sure that your partner COMPLETELY loves you and isn't sleeping with somebody else. Marriage comes along. You guys are legally bonded together. Though you're not ENTIRELY sure that your partner's not cheating on you, you're MORE sure than when you're just dating.

[*StanleyThePanda*]

Ok.

If we leave "god" out of it, why is premarital sex wrong? Someone care to elaborate? :)

Well, you are saving that special time for your husband.
I dont technically think its wrong (If you take God out of it), I just think its special.
You waited for that one person and saved yourself for them, and them alone.

Also, I wouldnt want some guy (my husband) thinking about some previous person he slept with while we were having sex. You know?
Like... compairing you to his previous experiences.

But yeah, I agree with what Roxy said.
I am waiting, I think its wrong, that is all.

[*Uronacid*]

You should try it, jsut to see what happens...

[AngelinaTaylor]

I dont technically think its wrong (If you take God out of it), I just think its special.

I am waiting, I think its wrong, that is all.

Umm.. you contradicted yourself a little there. So what's it going to be?

Oh yeah, and what does it matter who he thinks of while having sex? He's having sex with you, isn't he? He (supposedly) married you.

[*StanleyThePanda*]

^ Actually, I didnt. I said I dont think its wrong IF YOU TAKE GOD OUT OF IT.
But, me being a christian, I think its wrong.

[me1issaaaa]

I'm just curious, let's say two people lost their virginity to each other and remain together for years, and then get married. Is it still a sin, even though they remained faithful to each other and only each other, but they weren't married at the time? It's not like they had sex with multiple people or anything.

[xFaith]

I dont care. Do whatever you like.

I'm not saving myself for marriage. I couldnt do that. Dont see the point in it either. Dont care about whatever "God" says. Cavepeople didnt marry either, or else we all wouldnt be here.

[*a painefull euphoria*]

it should be alowed
you have to taste the goods before you buy the scoop

[Rachel]

it should be alowed
you have to taste the goods before you buy the scoop

It is allowed...

[AngelinaTaylor]

^ Actually, I didnt. I said I dont think its wrong IF YOU TAKE GOD OUT OF IT.
But, me being a christian, I think its wrong.

So, if I convince you that there is no god (the christian one), you would think it's ok?

[*StanleyThePanda*]

haha well, you wouldnt be able to.
but, like I said with the whole taking God out of it thing, I just think its better if you wait.
Honestly, I dont care if anyone else does it, sure w/e okay.
but me personally, I am waiting.
So yes, I suppose you could say its "okay"

[AngelinaTaylor]

Man, I just find it sad how Christianity still manipulates so many people who take it literally.. but I'll shh. This isn't the place.

It's good to wait :)

[*a painefull euphoria*]

It is allowed...

i mean in the catholic church it should be alowed.

[concreteangel]

I think that it depends on the person's beliefs and whether the person is mature enough to take that next enormous step.