cutting yourself... Options

[Joss-eh-lime]

from everything i know about it its not just a way to relieve the pain. sometimes the have to go to theropy and cure it, kinda like anorexcia. its hard to stop once you do it alot.

about your friend:
treat her normally. dont make her cutting problem the main thing you talk about.

[creamyxlicious]

Not sure if anyone suggested this but.

You know I think a great idea is to make your pal LOOK at this topic and make em read all the responces so it might discourage her to continue the cutting..

-the thought of cutting one self for relief SCARES me! -

[burnnobridges717]

cutting is a relief mechanism. It is an experimental thing. If it hurts you, then you know ur in it for the wrong reasons (rebellion, popularity, character). Those who cut to relieve stress, don't hurt because it's the only pain that they feel they can control.

[TheReasonWhy]

i have friends do that too! and there wounds are deep o___O they even use needle...and thats horrible to see there arms...anyway...no one could stop them i guess

[SillyCourtney]

You know what I think is funny? How for everyone person that states they think it's wrong, five other people will call them stupid and tell them that they only think it's wrong because they haven't done it or supposedly "gone under that kind of stress".

BULLSHIT.

So, in order for me to think cutting is right I'll have to slice up my wrists and arms?

What kind of messed up logic is that? Honestly, cutting to relieve pain? It doesn't make sense. Talk to someone about it. I think it's kind of cowardly.. you're only avoiding your problems because you can't deal with them. Honestly, there are better ways of handling it. Find some other alternative.


Really, it's not the ONLY way. People just think it is because they can't think of anything else. Why? I wouldn't know. I've never done it before. And just because my life might suck sometimes doesn't mean I'm going to start either.

[ParanoidAndroid]

^ you can't just declare that... The more you guys keep saying how stupid it is the more people will cut. Don't you guys see it? You misunderstand them. Instead of ranting about how stupid it is why won't you stop judging them and actually help them understand how dangerous it is? and the term "cutting relieves pain" doesn't literally mean it frees them from pain but it comforts them to know that "worthless beings such as them is punished" or so how i put it. I cut my self before. I understand now how stupid it was and how i hurt so many people who i thought i would help if i erase my existence. Don't just say hurtful things like that... you can't just assume how they feel when you don't know what they go through in the bottom of their heart. Someone who doesn't understand and can't empathize will be blind to what i say... and who are all of you to judge their sadness? Everyone can be depressed or morbid if they want. They can feel unworthy if they want... but we can't judge them and tell them that they shouldn't feel like they're pain isn't worth it. It's called looking down on people and i hate that. Looking down is the most commonly used way on how to contradict yourself and no one even knows it.

*edit*
for the topic starter's friend.. she probably thinks in a way you're judging her. But I know you're not and you just want to help. Tell her this:

Sometimes we can all feel weak and unwanted. Sometimes the whole world can hate us and the whole world can ignore us. but you know, just accepting that fact.. takes a lot of courage. Accepting the fact that you are weak and unwanted takes a lot of bravery... but cutting yourself because of that fact, it might be justice for a few people but for your friends it's not. We may not know it but there are people who love us more than anything in the world. Which is why we all have to bear through with it. Even though today was too hard to bare or tomorrow will just bring unbarable fear and pain, we have to live through it. It's the only way we can become stronger. Cutting ourselves and hurting out body isn't becoming stronger. To be able to take a memory that you'd rather forget and bring it with you for the rest of your life, will make you twice the person you are. So please don't cut anymore. Because one day it will all end. We've been given a chance to know the joy of being born, so we have to live through everything to know that joy.

[marilynxmonr03]

ive done it before. i understand. i think it is for attention more than anything else.

[OverratedStupidi...]

Even though I haven't tried it, cutting is wrong. Why inflict that kind of pain because your life isn't going the way you want to. It's like not getting the job you want then going to break your leg. Does that really help the situation in the long run? no.

[HoodieObsessed]

Don't just tell her to stop, tell her that cutting is bad for you and that there are other ways of making yourself feel better. Sit down and talk to her about why she's feeling so bad right now, there may be something you can help her with. homeowork maybe? If it's a friend problem and it's someone you know you might be able to help. If it's not something you can help her with, than comfort her and try to make her feel as good as possible, but don't get down on her cause she's cutting, that won't help anything.

good luck

[crazy_goat_black...]

wow, what an interesting topic. you know, in my opinion, the answer really differs on the reason the person is doing it. we may hate to admit it, but honestly, over half of the people who cut only do it because it's a fad (especially in the emo/punk scene) or because they want some to care about them, in shrot, they want attention. there are very few who actually want to keep it hidden from *everyone* and because it helps relieve stress, pain, anger, makes the ache go away...

...before you say i have no idea what i'm talking about, i do. i do cut, i have for five years. i admit, for a couple months about a year ago i started it up really hard and telling people because i wanted someone to help me or care, whatever (um...i had some other issues, too, still do) that plan really backfired on me, my parents found out, it wasn't good, to say the least. i stopped for a while and i've started it back up again, but my view on it is, it really is my coping method. i know a lot of people may disagree with me, but i'm not slitting my wrists or my throat or trying to kill myself (anymore) and it helps...so...it's my choice, enough said.

all the fakers should just go f**k themselves >_>

[crazy_goat_black...]

there i go, ranting again before i read everyone's posts. i'm stupid like that. you know, a lot of you don't know, and a lot of you probably never will know, the ones who say it's stupid and cowardly. cutters know that, okay? do you think it makes us feel any better? hardly, which just worsens things, it's like a never ending vicious cycle. before i started cutting i had this friend, who actually introduced me to the idea, and it made no sense to me either...i mean, pain doesn't make pain go away. but it's not just pain, it's the ache. a quote i heard from someone once, that makes a ton of sense about cutting:
"new pain so you forget the old pain." make sense to you?

ive done it before. i understand. i think it is for attention more than anything else.

exactly, that's what pisses me off so much.

you can't just declare that... The more you guys keep saying how stupid it is the more people will cut. Don't you guys see it? You misunderstand them. Instead of ranting about how stupid it is why won't you stop judging them and actually help them understand how dangerous it is? and the term "cutting relieves pain" doesn't literally mean it frees them from pain but it comforts them to know that "worthless beings such as them is punished" or so how i put it. I cut my self before. I understand now how stupid it was and how i hurt so many people who i thought i would help if i erase my existence. Don't just say hurtful things like that... you can't just assume how they feel when you don't know what they go through in the bottom of their heart. Someone who doesn't understand and can't empathize will be blind to what i say... and who are all of you to judge their sadness? Everyone can be depressed or morbid if they want. They can feel unworthy if they want... but we can't judge them and tell them that they shouldn't feel like they're pain isn't worth it. It's called looking down on people and i hate that. Looking down is the most commonly used way on how to contradict yourself and no one even knows it.

exactly!!!

cutting oneself used to be a way of relieving stress and anger. then it became a trend. a bunch of idiots would do it becuase everyone else was doing it and they would think it's cool.
just.. stop. dumbasses.

ditto, ditto!

in short...for the topic starters friend...it may be a big deal, it may not, it all dependso n how you look at it. depending on your friends intention, she either wants you to make a big deal out of it or not. either way, i wouldn't make a big deal out of it. if she just wants someone to pay attention then eventually she'll see it's not working and stop. if it's serious, you're there to help her, but you don't have to get insane about it. all cutters are psychotic, we're just normal people. mmk?

[ParanoidAndroid]

^aww lol you're a very sweet person.

But you know what I notice? This happens a LOT but is SOMETIMES true too. Many people assume that they do it for attention. Okay, this is true 94% of the time. However, on the 6% it's usually to slowly deminish yourself instead of ending it immediately. You know, when I was like 11 or something. I felt really guilty for alive. My parents had to apologize for my behavior all the time and my siblings didn't like me because I was a "nobody". I soon started to think, "Why am I here if all I do is make people not want me?" I thought of myself as someone who even their own family can't be proud of. And soon I started to say, "sure when I die they'll be sad...but they won;t know it but it will sure relieve stress...they won't have to pay for the crap I make them do, they won't have to pay for college tuition, they won't have to pay for food as much as they do." As an idiot I actually thought this can be the best for my parents. I never told anyone and I wasn't emo or gothic either but I started cutting. It was to a point that I lost SO much blood in a week that I got sent to the hospital. And they all saw the scars and stuff. Afterwards, everyone tried to get me help. They gave me a therapist. They gave me extra unwanted attention... It was never attention I wanted...I just wanted the guilt away...the therapist couldn't understand that...no one can understand that...until

2 years later I met this boy. He's very cute. Goofy, funny, and in a way very sweet. He's parents are divorced and he has no permission to ever see his father again. So in a way, he knows what i feel. Then when I found out he lived near me. We met on the street and started to hang out. Once he found out about my situation he was like, "Geezus Christ that sure is stupid. They really think that'll help?" Of course I answered him with a yeah and then he said, "I feel that way sometimes. And if i want to be happy, I'll just look at the person next to me. I'll think about ways I can affect that person's life if I can get to know her/him. And maybe, I won't be so worthless... Sure it's the wrong reason to be nice. But it helps. When I met you, I tried to do the same, but now...i really want to get to know you"

I cried

[Nicolatofu]

Hopefully she's stopped cutting by now. But everyone keep in mind just telling someone they should stop often infuriates them. You have to let them know you're there to talk and show them the alternatives to relieve stress.

[Boyfriendless]

I tried it and didnt help me very much...so I quit

[crazy_goat_black...]

good for you

[zoe_loves_you]

yea.. my friends cut too.. i dont know what to do about it but what works the best and i know this i s kind of manipulative but i threaten them that if they cut i will cut and like they stop for a while at least.

[nightowl89]

2 years later I met this boy. He's very cute. Goofy, funny, and in a way very sweet. He's parents are divorced and he has no permission to ever see his father again. So in a way, he knows what i feel. Then when I found out he lived near me. We met on the street and started to hang out. Once he found out about my situation he was like, "Geezus Christ that sure is stupid. They really think that'll help?" Of course I answered him with a yeah and then he said, "I feel that way sometimes. And if i want to be happy, I'll just look at the person next to me. I'll think about ways I can affect that person's life if I can get to know her/him. And maybe, I won't be so worthless... Sure it's the wrong reason to be nice. But it helps. When I met you, I tried to do the same, but now...i really want to get to know you"

I cried

that is so sweet. There are definitely much much better ways of coping with stressfull problems...talking to friends, chocolate, a hobby, art, screaming, rolling down hills...seriously, I'm not condemning anyone, but it doesn't make sense to pick such a self depreciating way of coping. If you don't protect/love yourself, why should anyone else? If you need help or want attention, you have to be brave enough to reach out and ask....thats my opinion.

[m.ar.i.a]

cutting oneself used to be a way of relieving stress and anger. then it became a trend. a bunch of idiots would do it becuase everyone else was doing it and they would think it's cool.
just.. stop. dumbasses.

ppl cut themselves as trend?? really, all the "popular" ppl at school DOESN'T nad is AGAINST cutting n completely flipped wen this girl showed her her cut marks that she cut herself with... yeah

[*swtcherriipie*]

Its self mutalation... =\

[add1cted2f1re]

1- u spelled "pain" wrong
2- why the hell is this in RELATIONSHIPS?

[*swtcherriipie*]

i think is wack like crack!

[WHOngos144]

I think it's dumb. Cutting is freaky.

[FoxBandCutie08]

One of my good friends used to cut when she had a lot of stress on her, family stuff and our friends were causing a big mess. She realized that it was wrong and went to get help for it. Maybe your friend should too.

[xxxSiERRAxxx]

Tell her this story (it isnt true though)
Somebody on cB used to cut herself for even the littlest sin she did. One day, she cut herself so bad, she cut all the way through a vein. She had to go to the hospital and get blood donations.

I don't know, maybe.
--->Sierra

[benedictkenny]

Who is Paine, and why does he enjoy seeing me cut myself?