I really need some unbiased opinion here. This is why I'm turning to you guys. It's about what I perceived to be a misunderstanding between me and a friend.

Characters:
Me- obviously who
L - Guy friend that I've known for ~1.5 years.
Jn - L's good friend. Also a guy friend that I've known for ~1.5 years.
K - My boyfriend
Js - My closest friend. I've known her for close to 6 years now

The plot:
Yesterday evening, I left L a message on msn to check out this site because it got revamped. He messaged me back, saying that the site looks bad. As a joke, I said "well, your face is ugly", and he got pissed at me. We're pretty tight, so he knows me pretty well, and I've used this loose phrase a lot in front of him, directed at other people as jokes, so he knows it was a joke. But he still got mad at me, because I suppose he took it seriously. So I talked to Jn, and told him the story. I told him that I don't want to apologize, because why should I when L should know its a joke, and I don't mean it, and seeing how we're close friends, he ought to just realize that and get over it. Jn says I have no morals because no only do I not want to apologize, I won't admit I'm wrong, and I expect L to figure out how I'm feeling. Oh, and what a horrible person I am for saying what I said to L.

So I messaged K and Js, and they both agree that L was just overreacting a bit, and helped me to word an apology to L. The final product is as follows: "Hey L, sorry for what I said, i meant it as one of those casual joke things. It was meant only as a
joke, and nothing else. I didn't think you'd take it seriously, so sorry." So I pasted it over to Jn's window, to ask for his opinion. He told me to not say it if I wasn't going to mean it, and how I must suck if I needed help in writing a simple apology.

Regardless of Jn's opinion, I pasted the apology in L's window, and then he said that he really isn't mad at me, and that it's "fun" to make me apologize because then it puts him in power and control for once. Power and control for what I don't know. So I thought everything was fine.

Just now, L messaged me and we talked. And this time, he's saying how he wants me to admit I'm wrong, and one thing led to another, and I said how I don't want to apologize to him in the first place, and that I finally did, he's not taking it. He said don't apologize if you don't want to. And then I asked him what he wants me to do, and he said nothing, absolutely nothing, in a sarcasm dripping way. Oh yes, he's also taking the opportunity to call me stupid, and all that, because I made a sharp comment to him last night. Oh and he told me to be a bitch if that's what I want to do.

My dilemma?
I don't know what to do really. I don't know why L's still bitter when he was okay when I said sorry. And especially since he knows it was meant as a joke, not as something serious. Yes I do realize its a rather harsh thing to say, if I meant it, but I didn't, and it's a joke, and he bloody well know it's one. Yet, he's making a huge fuss. So I just need you guys' opinions on this issue.

Thanks.

I think you should've written the apology yourself in the first place, it's not that difficult. It does make your apology seem somewhat artificial/thoughtless.

HOWEVER, I think that This L guy and Jn guy are taking things way out of hand. They both have known you for so long and the fact that they want to ridicule you like that is just ignorant. If L is not going to accept an apology from you, or at least tell you why he was "hurt"in the first place, then I don't think you should be friends with him or Js anymore. They're blowing this issue much larger than it should be, considering this was said over the internet. It could've been someone else using your msn or something. He needs to not take things so seriously, especially since I've known plenty of people who have said others were ugly as a joke or some other variation.

both L and his friend are really over reacting, but your apology does not sound sincere. sometimes people do get offended at wierd moments, but if your their friend and you notice that you hurt them then you have to step up and apologize and mean it.

HOWEVER

L is being really immature and if he doesnt accept a sincere apology then just dont talk to him. eventually he will get over it unless he loves drama and wants to drag it on.

Your friend L and Jn seriously gotta stop taking this up the butt. I mean, its obvious it was a joke and its not even that big of a deal. I'm sure you can get the majority of the world to back you up with that. If anything, just apologize one more time on your own with your own words and if he doesn't accept it...well then he's an idiot.

yeah, you should have apologized by yourself. not really go for help to write a simple apology but your friends are taking this too seriously. c'mon, it was just a joke. and if you did apologize and he doesn't take it, just tell him to grow up & stop complaining.

I think your friends are crazy.

I think L needs to grow up.

As for your situation, I'm not really sure what you should do. L sounds like a real tool and so does Jn... I think I would just wait it out for awhile, they'll probably get over it. If not, f*ck 'em (figuratively speaking, of course).

I think you need to learn how to say you're sorry. Yeah, your friend might be over reacting but I'm sure you're the type who never admits their fault. So in a way, you're at fault here. You told him his face was ugly (joke or not) he took it the wrong way. You shouldn't say he should get over it.

You have to apologize and tell him you mean it this time rather than defending yourself.

You should grow up and realize that you can be at fault too!

suu wur S...T...H...U guy...



princc thankk dizz shiett laamee..

lamee storrii n shiett...

Thanks for all the reply. We talked.

And it turned out that he just found it all amusing to make me apologize and he wasn't mad at me to begin with, and of course, it was a joke. In his words "I know you well enough to know what you say as jokes and what you don't, but it was just so fun to make you apologize and all that stuff, and I wasn't even mad" -_-". So he just decided to blow it all up for the heck of it.

Yes, Sandraa, I know I can be at fault too.

i Think L likes you and Jn has L's back. And L is tired of you being his friend.. what do you think? as in he wants more...

Um L definitely does not like me. He knows I have a boyfriend, and he is buddies with my boyfriend. And I know the girl that L is currently interested in...the situation has nothing to do with romance of any sort.

L just decided to blow it up, have some fun with making me being the victim, and invited Jn along to reinforce it.