One of my good friends, recently told me that she's starting to think she might be bisexual/lesbian - leaning more towards bisexual. Now this isn't too rare of an occurance to me, girls questioning their sexuality often talk to me and ask me for advice(I'm a lesbian)... but something told me she was telling me this for another reason. I soon found out that I was right. Part of the reason she was thinking this was because she was attracted to me. Which was great for me, I mean, I had had a crush on her for awhile.

But there was one problem. She has a boyfriend. Well, more than a boyfriend. She has a fiance. They've been together almost 3 years now. As you can guess with any relationship that's been going on that long, they have problems, but the fact still remains that they love each other.

So I convinced myself I had no chance with her. I mean, she may be attracted to me, but nothing's going to happen. She's in love with him.

but she's said things that have made me start to question that... she keeps saying things like "If I'm still with him..."

and then today, she said something that's really making me wonder...

We're in a painting class together, and we're supposed to think of an idea for a painting. Her idea was a girl holding hands with a guy but desperately reaching out for a girl....


My main question here is if I should try to tell her how I feel and that I'd like to be in a relationship with her.
She almost makes it seem like she's just waiting for me to do that... but as much as I want that, I'm afraid to break up her relationship with her bf...
and besides, it feels almost like I'd be taking advantage of her "curiousity." I know what its like to question your sexuality. I know how desperately you want a solid confirmation sometimes. I know that if she didn't feel she needed that confirmation so badly, she prolly wouldn't have even considered breaking up with her bf....

but at the same time, I want to say if her relationship with her bf isn't strong enough to withstand this, it was bound to happen anyways....

I dont know.

what should I do?

As a bisexual,I would say to leave her be.Shes only in a crush state of mind and i wouldent pursue her as shes engaged.

Straying away from a fiance is common because one will start to question if the person they are going to marry is really worth giving up the single life for.

If she was so seriously involved with this guy to the point of getting engaged.Then shes only bicurious and its to you benifit that you jsut leave it be and not try to get in anykind of relationship with her.

If her boyfriend's really understanding, then she could talk to him about it.

Or if he's one of those guys who are into the whole girls kissing girls, somehow get her to make an offer? It's not the best way, though.

the other part about this situation is that she's just a junior in highschool... from what I've heard from her, she partially feels trapped by the engagement. She's hardly had a chance to be with anyone else.



yeah, he's really protective, he would never allow that... and I wouldnt really want it to just be fooling around. If I was going to do anything with her, I'd want an actual relationship.

I think you should definitely have a long talk with her about this. And she should think about her priorities. Maybe her boyfriend AND you aren't right for her at this moment in her life. Being engaged at such a young age is horrible! She might be reaching out for someone else simply because it seems like an easy way to escape this trap.

Maybe she should take time off from her boyfriend and get some new experiences. Being single, being with you (though that may have a hard ending), being with another guy, being with the same guy after seeing what other people OR no one but herself can do for her.

Being trapped by an engagement makes it sound like she shouldn't be in one. Talk with her and ask her to talk to her boyfriend, at least for the sake of helping her.

my friend's RA was BI or something, and she broke up with her nappy headed ho girlfriend over stealing a tv.

She's not ready to be in such a relationship if she feels trapped. Also it seems like's she's just curious and maybe using you as an possible escape route.

Honesty is the best policy here. She needs to talk to her other half and tell him how she feels genuinely. If they break up then I don't see why you two can't be together.

I concur, with Mishyerr.

Well said.. I also wanna add, some girls can mess around with people's mind- no matter how well you know them; it will happen at a stage. So be careful. Just be a good friend and advice her if she has any questions regarding sexuality.

Ever watched South Of Nowhere? Be like Ash

how is that related at all?

Honestly, I think that you should see what she wants. I mean, we know what you want and you know what you want, but maybe she doesn`t know what she wants. SO, maybe by waiting, she can decide. If you tell her how you feel, then maybe she`ll feel forced into what you want, and eventually, she may find out that it`s not what she wants.


BASICALLY, I say to just wait a while and see what happens.
Or I don`t know, you could always just tell her if it`s on your mind 24/7.


Good luck.