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familial relationships affect, romantic relationships?
nightowl89
post Apr 6 2006, 08:10 PM
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So this is kind of a jumble of thoughts...intersting/a bit odd...

This is kind of a freudian idea, but I think ur relationships with famliy members affects ur romantic relationships. at least to some extent....

Personally, I have a dominant older bro. I really looked up to him as a kid (now we're friends and pretty equal)...I tend to attract pretty confident older guys. my dad's kinda submissive, really loving, but i never really connected with him. When i was younger I always crushed on daredevil assholes. thankfully I out grew that. tongue.gif since I dont' really talk a lot with my dad, I really love it when I can communicate well with guys. I also didn't have like any guyfriends until basically highschool. I guess because I didn't really have a relaitonship with my dad and only a haphazard one with my bro...he was a very moodly teen (lol) hmm...and my mom. I hate how she puts my dad down sometimes...which i think is why I really look for a guy I can look up to but treats me as an equal (again the weird bro paralell) I'm the closest with my mom, she loves her kids to death and works so hard for us. But I dont' think she loves or even respects my dad anymore...which makes me want to really love and respect whoever I end up with (ive never had a real bf yet)

The reason I got to thinking about this was becuz my crush's younger sis was kinda bitchy to me when we were all at this summer thing. She would ignore me when i was literally 2 ft away from her, tlak to everyone else except me...i guess i could have tried harder to be friendly... but still. It was probably becasue she sensed something between me and her bro, they're close, but her friends were throwing themselves at him and she had no problem. And the topic of siblings came up a bunch of times when i was talking to my crush too...it was all very odd. I felt like I was in competition with his sis! Shes a yr older than me and he's a year older than her...so I guess its understandable that he sees me partially as a younger sis type friend. But ther's definetely romantic chemistry between us too, and he's shown me he really cares. this whole sis thing just made me wonder...am I always going to be at least partially a "baby sis" to all my guys?

...if u made it this far, thanks wink.gif Any thoughts? Do you see any strange paralells between your relationships with family memebers and ur romantic relationships?
 
*Blow_Don't_SUCK*
post Apr 6 2006, 08:15 PM
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I never really base my future social/love life on what's going on with my current relationships. I think it's a bad idea to be pessimistic like that, thinking the guys you like might just think of you as a younger sister. But are you sure he really is interested in you?
 
eunie03
post Apr 6 2006, 08:24 PM
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I think families really do affect relationships. In my case, I attract guys that piss my parents off.

If you think about in other ways, the "baby sister" thing isn't the worst place you can be. Someone who looks out for you, cares about you, recognizes you're a human being and not a pair of breasts... It's not so bad, no?
 
--x who0ps
post Apr 8 2006, 01:23 PM
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I definately think that your family affects your relationships.
For me, my dad's really .. controlling and manipulative.
My mom, on the other hand, is just like me, simple.
I hate hate hate hate guys that are controlling and manipulative. I look for someone that's simple and.. not complicated. LOL
(cause my mom and dad fight a lot)
So yeah, for me, they definately affect. No doubt.

Do you think that if you came from a family that had many familial issues, that your future family will also be as bad?
I've always wondered that.
 
oOKittyKatOo
post Apr 9 2006, 01:15 PM
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QUOTE(--x who0ps @ Apr 8 2006, 1:23 PM) *
Do you think that if you came from a family that had many familial issues, that your future family will also be as bad?
I've always wondered that.



i think it may affect how you handle certain issues.. but in the end.. i believe in the end.. you make the final decisions on how to act in certain situations.. so even if you come for a family with familial issues.. your furutre family will not necessarily be bad _smile.gif
 
Chii
post Apr 9 2006, 01:35 PM
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I think your crush's sister felt that way because she doesn't know you very well. She knows her friends so she knows they won't do her brother wrong. Since she doesn't know you, she probably just makes assumptions. Or she's jealous of you and knows her friends won't really get with her brother and you have a chance to.
QUOTE(--x who0ps @ Apr 8 2006, 2:23 PM) *
I definately think that your family affects your relationships.
Do you think that if you came from a family that had many familial issues, that your future family will also be as bad?
I've always wondered that.

If a family has issues, I think the outcome with the kids can either be really good or really bad. Like if a boy witnesses his mom getting beaten by his dad, worst case is he'll do that too or in the best case he'll see how wrong it is and never do it.

As creepy as it sounds and as much as I hate thinking about it, the guy I'm seeing really acts like my brother. It's so creepy, they're both into computers and going to college for it, they're both 4 years older than me, they both have the same astrological sign, etc. They even act the same way at times, like my brother tells his girlfriend "you're crazy" pronouncing the word "crazy" in a cutesy/interesting way and the guy I'm seeing calls me a "crazy lady" also with a cutesy/weird pronunciation of the word "crazy." There are also other similarities but I try not to think of them. It freaks me out ph34r.gif

Is there something I don't know about that people born in 1984 know about the word "crazy"?
 
nightowl89
post Apr 10 2006, 12:41 AM
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Actually I think I kinda patched things up with the sis...i friended her on facebook and sent her a message along the lines of "hey hope everythings great" and she said "its good to hear from you, thanks for sending me a message ;-) hoep everythings good for u too" yep...with a smiley face! It was 2 yrs ago, I think we all grew up. And she realized i was a genuine person I guess...do i see a green light? tongue.gif

QUOTE
i believe in the end.. you make the final decisions on how to act in certain situations.. so even if you come for a family with familial issues.. your furutre family will not necessarily be bad


^yeppp

And i didn't mean the whole "am i going to be a younger sis wth all guys" in a pessimistic way. Its a little frusturating sometimes, but hey, ive been attracting the kinda guys I want to: polite, nice, funny and cute. So hopefully if i stick around long enough...something will finally "click", right? Whooo knowwws...im only 16, i gotta while. happy.gif
 

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