Transparent, doesn't rhyme ;) |
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 Mar 28 2006, 06:10 PM
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#1
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 daughter of sin  Group: Member Posts: 1,653 Joined: Mar 2006 Member No: 386,134  |
Isolation.
Hatred, control. Freedom. Impossible future and dreams of perfection. Inspirational lies buried in your thoughts; less colour, less power. Frozen emotions, so still in the air, like tiny miracles yet to be reborn. Close your eyes, slowly, yet consciously, and forget. Inevitable failure, or a challenge. Reflect. Unrealistic, unbearable - your story. -- Taylor`` A 2-minute poem.. I need criticism. |
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Mar 28 2006, 06:43 PM
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#2
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 <3 Group: Member Posts: 185 Joined: Jan 2006 Member No: 365,309 |
Sure? It has an unclear message. But I love it no matter what (:
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Mar 28 2006, 09:32 PM
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#3
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daughter of sin Group: Member Posts: 1,653 Joined: Mar 2006 Member No: 386,134 |
Yeah I figured :P
It's just about someone reflecting on their life.. About someone who looks back and thinks about particular things they've had to go through. If it still doesn't make sense, I can analyze the whole poem :P Taylor`` |
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Mar 28 2006, 09:37 PM
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#4
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victim of myspace.com Group: Member Posts: 395 Joined: Mar 2006 Member No: 386,435 |
I agree with nikki, it has an unclear message, but overall its pretty good!
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Mar 29 2006, 02:48 PM
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#5
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 wut wut in the butt? Group: Human Posts: 2,108 Joined: Sep 2005 Member No: 227,723 |
^I agree with them, but I also liked it cuz it was like a collage of random thoughts going through your head
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Mar 29 2006, 08:14 PM
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#6
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 no news is good news... Group: Member Posts: 123 Joined: Sep 2005 Member No: 232,063 |
it's good
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Mar 29 2006, 08:18 PM
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#7
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victim of myspace.com Group: Member Posts: 395 Joined: Mar 2006 Member No: 386,435 |
^Is that all you ever say? "its good" ??
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Apr 1 2006, 10:49 AM
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#8
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daughter of sin Group: Member Posts: 1,653 Joined: Mar 2006 Member No: 386,134 |
QUOTE(Ice Cream 4 U @ Mar 28 2006, 9:37 PM)  I agree with nikki, it has an unclear message, but overall its pretty good! Aw, people often say that.. but to me it makes sense somehow.. lol :P Taylor`` |
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