Speak. |
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Speak. |
Mar 10 2006, 06:47 PM
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#1
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![]() hello : ) ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Official Member Posts: 4,227 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 13,139 |
You see their sideway glances,
And hear their hushed voices. You know they speak of you. You hear their gossip, And see their heads shaking. You know they speak of you. You see their pointing fingers, And hear their accusing talk. You know they speak of you. You hear their excitement, And see their looks of dismay. You know they speak of you. You see their backs turned, And hear them saying your name. You know they speak of you. What do they speak though? Rumors that burn through you like fire. Everyone speaking of what they heard, Not of anything that they know. Only speaking of what is unknown, And jumping to irrational conclusions. Friendships are lost and thrown away, All because they decided to speak. ------ I'm not too fond of this piece however someone (Naomi) said I should post it so I did! Please give me constructive criticism!!! |
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| *islandgirl4eva* |
Mar 10 2006, 06:56 PM
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#2
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I love how awkward this makes me feel. Like I'm being harrassed in a hallway. It feels real. Good job...FA SHO.
LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUU. |
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Mar 10 2006, 07:01 PM
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#3
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<3 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 185 Joined: Jan 2006 Member No: 365,309 |
I relate to this a lot
Gossipers.. |
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Mar 10 2006, 10:05 PM
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#4
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c[: ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 2,302 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 2,876 |
i really like it. it's something that most would be able to relate to. i love it.
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Mar 10 2006, 10:07 PM
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#5
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![]() cB Assassin ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Official Member Posts: 10,147 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 7,672 |
I really like it, really good.
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Mar 15 2006, 12:01 AM
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#6
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![]() "lal! laugh a little!" ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 192 Joined: Jan 2006 Member No: 364,863 |
QUOTE All because they decided to speak. For some reason, to me this last line seems a little long :| I think I'm just paranoid It was a wonderful job!! Definately something we can all to relate to |
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| *Phoenixx* |
Mar 21 2006, 09:27 PM
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#7
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I think you wrote something that many people would be able to relate too. It's a very straight-forward poem and I like that. I don't think I have any constructive criticism now but if I do see/think of something I'll be sure to say so.
Bottom line is that I enjoyed it. It makes you think using such simple words and structure. |
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Mar 21 2006, 09:35 PM
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#8
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![]() wut wut in the butt? ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Human Posts: 2,108 Joined: Sep 2005 Member No: 227,723 |
really like this one. you can actually visualize it happening as u read it. good stuff
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| *ranniel* |
Mar 21 2006, 10:35 PM
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#9
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Mar 21 2006, 11:14 PM
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#10
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![]() 101708 <3 (: ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 253 Joined: Feb 2006 Member No: 382,431 |
wow.. i really like this one. like every1 else said, i think most of us can really relate to it. also, i like how you kept using that line "you know they speak of you". haha goood job (:
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