One of my good gay guy friends kinda used me for sex. He knew I liked him and he used that against me. Should I still be friends with him, because I still want to be friends. But he sometimes tells me he wants to be friends with benefits but should I do that after he used me first?

I was confused with your last phrase

If you want to continue being friends with him, then continue being friends with him as long as you're sure he's going to treat you with respect. Don't be friends with him if he can't prove to you that he'll be loyal and that he won't take advantage of you.

wow he used you and yet you still want to be friends with him? thats just messed up...i mean i guess you could still be friends with him, but is it really worth it? i mean how do you know he's not just going to use you again? if that were me i would never ever talk to someone like that ever again in my life...

Its more complicated... I really want to be with him, but would being friends make it worse?

You should understand his case. It's hard to stop being friends with someone you've probably known for a long period of time and learned to trust. Afterall, it's not easy letting go. If it were that easy, then I guess we can all just stop being best friends with someone or family with our relatives. How would you feel if the person you relied on and depended on and looked upon just brushed you off like you were a nobody?

In Corey's case, he's in a dilemma in which he can either lose his friend or his friendship.

1. What do you want from the friendship?
2. What do you believe he wants?
3. Are you upset that he wants to be friends with benifits, but does not want to develope a romantic relationship with you?
4. Would you want to be friends with benifits?
5. Have spoken to him about all this?

Just f**k him. It's a win win situation. He gets some ass and you get to have sex with someone you like.

^ LOL.

wait, so you had sex with him already?

he used you.

....Amen.

did you like his sex?

so wait a second here...who's the one thats being relied on and depended on here?
if its the topic starter's trust thats being tampered with then that should be exactly why he should stop talking to him. if that person is mean enough to mess with his trust then why should he still remain friends with him?

^My point was... It's difficult for him to let go of his friend, especially since he likes him.

You act as if everything is easy to do, learn how to empathize my friend.

//edit

You know what? Since almost everyone here is aggressive, I take back everything I said only to avoid spamming in this thread any further.

If I was you, I would steer clear. Unless you just want to have casual sex with this person. I've been used for sex and I stayed around aroudn with the person trying to be their friends, but as soon as he had no more use for me, he just stopped talking to me completely. It was really messed up because we were good friends. Oh well. So yeah, people who use once, will use again, and when they don't need you anymore...well...peace out.

Does he really know how you feel or does he think that your ok with being toyed with. Maybe he thinks its ..ok for what he is doing because you think its ok too.

I suggest you find someone else to f**k

You should tell him that you're not interested in him like that, but you do want to be friends, and as long as he says he's not going to use you, and he doesn't, then it should be ok.

i would stay away from him, unless you really want to be friends with benefits with him then go right ahead

psh, you probably like the thought of him using you for his own sexual pleasure, dont deny it, you want some of his wang hhaha

Sorry I have been on vacation but here are my replies.

1. I want more than a friendship. I want to be serious with him.
2. I think he just wants sex and free drugs.
3. Yes. I mean I guess it would be okay to have sex but I would feel like trash.
4. Kinda. Sorta.
5. Yea. He stayed the night at my house one night and we slept in the same bed and he tried to get with me and I didnt let him.


Not really. Im not trashy like that.


Yeah. We dated for like a day and got drunk and f**ked and then he ignored me for two days and then said he just wanted to be friends and now he wants to be friends with benefits.


Yeah. Hes hot and hes good in bed.


I thank you for you help. You are helpful. Thank you for sticking up for me. *Kiss*


He knows. I told him I liked him and the only thing he said was "I dont want to put our friendship at risk because of us dating. But he wants to be friends who fool around??!?!??!?!?!?


No I dont. And you can go away now. Thanks.

i dunno; if it were me, i'd just take the consequences and stop being his friend.

i mean; it's not really a nice thing to do, to use someone.

sure, you could say he made a mistake; but then he's asking for fwb status, which implys he didn't think it was a mistake.

1. Alright. Keep that in mind. You truly want a serious relationship.
2. His desires obviously do not match up with your own. It seems that either he is open about his selfish abuse of your friendship and or trust or you can easily pin him for what he is; a bit of a leeching douche.
3. Why would you feel like trash? If you enjoy sexual relations with him you really shouldn't be made to feel like trash for that. Although, at the same time, you are interested in alot more than just sex. You want a serious relationship. I would say that it would be emotional dangerous to become friends with benifits under such a situation. Let him know how you feel, and how you want sexual relations on a deeper, more commited, level. He should understand, and back off.
4. Either way, if you honestly believe you would be comfortable with that, go for it. Although, I wouldn't reccomend it. (See #3).
5. Alright.




Ok. This makes everything very clear to me. He doesn't want any kind of commitment, but he stills wants your poon. With this situation, I couldn't imagine you being very comfortable with that.

Also, the surplus of exclamation and question marks helps me know that you also see something very wrong with this statement.

A deeper and more serious risk to your friendship would be fooling around and not dating. That this distinction is not made by him speaks volumes to his true friendship qualities. Sorry to break it down, but this is a user-abuser kind of relation. He is trying to get what he wants out of it by as little amount of effort, commitment, or honesty. It seems to me that there might not even be a friendship to risk.

This guy sounds like a giant douche bag, and no matter how hard it may to split ways, he doesn't seem to feel that same, as he truly does not seem to exhibit any care at all for your feelings, aside from not forcing himself on you. Settle this fast and strong. Good luck.

i dont know...i dont think so....he used you....and he might do it again.......i dont know if he'll keep his promise though......is he religious? maybe you can make him promise to not be bad to you. ahh its a hard question.........

soo.....you still want to be his friend, but you don't want to have sex wtih him, at least not all the time. It seems as if this is totally up to you. It wouldn't matter to him rather he's or friend or not, he will still look at you as an object, not a person. So really , he's not being a friend at all. But seeing that you still want to be a friend to him, then you gota confront him and let him know the terms of your freindship, that is without sex. Set some standards and have him agree with it, if he feels that you are worth being his friend.

He's not a true friend. Having a friend with benefits the only legal way to have sex wtih someone you don't care about. I would ditch him until he learns his lesson. There are other people who is worth being a good friend, why stick around him?

My situation is hella similar to yours. Except instead of him being my friend, this is my boyfriend. The only time he ever calls is when he wants to have sex. The only time he ever says "I love you" or call me "baby", is when we are having sex. On a normal basis, he calls me dude. And after sex I feel hella used. And stupid, and mad at myself for giving in so easily. My suggestion to you is that you should continue being friends with him. And you can always look at benefits as a plus. If the sex is good, I think its worth it.