Recently I just found out that my boyfriend smokes [since last month]. It kind of disappointed me, but I was willing to support him whatever he decided to do. He told me that he didn't want me to hurt so he said he would stop. He promised me he would. About two days passed and he admitted that he had smoked the day before. He apologized and repromised that this time was for real and he wouldn't do it again. Things were going great for a good 2 weeks. But today, we got into a little arguement because our plans were a little roughed up and he got upset. I tried talking to him but he only walked away, supposively "off to the park, i don't want to hang out with you guys". So I tried my best to have a good time until I finally got to talk to him when I got home. As I was walking home I ran into my friend [whos a highschool bad boy] when he saw me, he was like "Wait!" he told me that my boyfriend was smoking today, [smoking with the highschool bad boy as a matter of fact]. While this was all happening he said that he asked my boyfriend if I approved of this, and my boyfriend just hesitated and went. "Oh...we got into a fight." This disappointed me bacause he promised me he would quit. But he may have been under stress. Should I talk to him about it...or give him another chance, I don't know what to do.

[think; 13 yearold kid]

Even though smoking greatly impacts his life, you shouldn't bug him about it as if there's no tomorrow (because that REALLY ruins a relationship). If you want him to quit advise him into taking one of those pills, patches, or gums people chew on to quit.

i really hate it when ppl type in that font but that's okay...


well.. i think you should talk to him, it's not easy to quit an addiction. I never been in this kinda problem but my friend's have. My friends SMOKE, and I mean smoke.. they didn't quit at one point tho, when they were dating and stuff. what made them quit was that they talked with their girlfriends, they really wanted to quit.. but you know, they eventually caugh back into it like months after breaks up and what not. but I think the best thing to do is talk to him.

smoking isn't that bad of a thing but it is a bad habit, but it's addicting. i don't smoke personally but if i were you, i'll just give him another chance

Edit: wow, i didn't realize he was 13 til after i submitted... yeah.. you really need to talk to him. i seen kids smoke at his age but yeah, it's not a habit you pick up that early. you have to talk to him it's for the best.. or that's my personal opinion

This post has been edited by Levy2k6: Jan 30 2006, 09:00 PM

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What you gotta understand is that its hard to just all of a sudden, stop, no more, quit right then and there, even if its a promise to anyone. You cant really expect him to just drop it, because it is addictive.

Just help him little by little get through it.

hes 13? wow. he could have just cracked under pressure since you guys fought, but you have to know that he may have been lying to you about stopping his smoking habbits even if it is hard to comprehend. do some research about smoking, telling him what it could do to his lungs. i know that my dad started smoking at 14 and still smokes to this day (hes 40 now) and has troubles daily with breathing. he continues to cough throughout his day to day activities and needs to spit out mucas (sp) ALL THE TIME. smoking at such a young age can do many harmful things to your boyfriends body. yes, smoking cigarettes, pot, weed, or whatever makes it hard to quit all of a sudden. maybe you can buy nicotine patches or gum to show how much you care?

I assume he's smoking weed. Right?

I used to smoke.... It's really really really really really really hard to quit... u're heart beats faster and anxiosnes attacks you.. just let him, he'll cough blood later on and it would hurt when he pees.... that happened to me so I stoped...

Dayum boy.

give it some time...
quitting can be hard.. but tell him smoking can ruin ur life, and youre here to support him when he decides to quit =)

also.. the breaking promise thing..hm..inono.. he broke it like what? 3 times?? sooo.. just talk to him about it.. give him ONE MORE CHANCE i suppose.. if he smokes again, with ur help...

then theres sumthing you really gotta think about.

Did he smoke at all during those two weeks?

QUOTE(Shahin @ Jan 31 2006, 1:47 AM)

Did he smoke at all during those two weeks?

^Not that I know of.

i would definately talk to him. i mean come on he's 13? and he's smoking? does he have any idea how bad that is for him?! lols...ughh. i mean if you want to go the easy way out of it that would be to break up with him and forget about it. but i'm sure you care about his health right? lols. so yeah...i mean just tell him that smoking isn't really the solution to everything. i mean if he had a problem with you he should come talk to you instead of go smoke it off....its bad for his health! ><!! if he doesn't listen to you still then you can't really help him. if i were you i would rather not see him hurt himself
did any of that make sense? hahaha

Wow, that's really young to be smoking already, and not being able to quit it seems like. Try to ask him to start chewing the gum or something, start getting him on the right path. Let him know you're very disappointed he hasn't quit yet, but tell him the truth is better than lying.

Wow, I'm 13. I know that you've been trying to talk to him face-to-face about the issue, but you have to really get it through his head that it's extremely dangerous for him. He's already relying on it to relieve stress. (You guys got into a fight, he went for a smoke.) I think he's already addicted, since he's so young. I really don't know what you can do.

I've been smoking for roughly a year and a half. Its not easy to quit. I started because someone offered me a cigarette when I was stressed out, and from then on, I sought the relief of a cigarette when there was a lot on my mind. Now that things aren't as stressful as they once were, I can honestly say that cigarettes do nothing to improve things. However, I do enjoy them and I'm in no rush to quit, regardless of what people say to me.

As for a 13 year old smoking, he needs to stop, not because of the health precautions or what people tell him, but because its not worth it to have a petty juvenile criminal record. He can't quit overnight, especially if he's been doing it for a while. However, he'd quit (or cut down) if he really valued your opinion. Trust me, if my girlfriend told me tonight to quit smoking, I'd have to do it.

I've been smoking for roughly a year and a half. Its not easy to quit. I started because someone offered me a cigarette when I was stressed out, and from then on, I sought the relief of a cigarette when there was a lot on my mind. Now that things aren't as stressful as they once were, I can honestly say that cigarettes do nothing to improve things. However, I do enjoy them and I'm in no rush to quit, regardless of what people say to me.

As for a 13 year old smoking, he needs to stop, not because of the health precautions or what people tell him, but because its not worth it to have a petty juvenile criminal record. He can't quit overnight, especially if he's been doing it for a while. However, he'd quit (or cut down) if he really valued your opinion. Trust me, if my girlfriend told me tonight to quit smoking, I'd have to do it.

^ I agree with Brandon.

If he didn't smoke at all during those two weeks, then I don't think he's addicted at all. Quitting for two weeks is as hard as quitting for good.

Yeah, can't tell a smoker to just give it up. I was a mild smoker. Smoked Newports whenever available. I cut down on it ALOT. (maybe once a month). Now the only thing I might smoke is a black. But yeah, let him know you aint feeling that. It's gonna take time to quit, it doesn't just happend one day to another.

God, blacks are nice.

^^^ They sure are huh? Craving one right now.

^^Well, crap. now you got me wanting one..i might just go out and get one actually. But actually on topic, don't you tihnk the kid actually isn't addicted?

i think you should leave him alone about it. he obviously likes smoking or whatever, so i think not smoking would have been a great deal to him wen he promised you, but he stopped for a while, didn't he? no matter what, it was hard for him to stop, even for a short period of time. therefore i think you should cut him some slack && let him enjoy a puff from time-to-time.

(this is coming from a 13 year old, btw)

I agree with that. A guy in my english class quit smoking by taking some stuff you breath in that gives you a bit of a high. I don't think he's smoked for a couple weeks now...you should maybe suggest that to him.