No one knows how I'm feeling. On the outside, I may seem like a normal teenager, but on the inside, there's too much pain...too much for me to bare. For 7 years now, my dad has been a gambling addict. During these 7 years, I've experienced things that are more heart-breaking than any of you can imagine. No one knows what it feels like when you have to hire a driver to drive you to the casino to find your dad, or knowing that 2 months worth of income has been lost after your dad comes home at 4 in the morning. Right now, my family is literally broken apart. My mom is 3000 miles away trying to get a degree and find a job and my dad just left a note this morning saying that he's flying to toronto. At the same time, my parents expect me to get in the best universities, but how can I do anything with this much stress inside of me? You might think I'm just trying to get attention by saying all this, and maybe I am. But I can't hold this in any longer. I've been having suicidal thoughts for awhile now, but they don't mean anything. I just want people to understand how I feel.