Wow.. I'm really sorry to hear that. Your dad really needs to go f*ck himself. He should learn to sympathize for his own daughter. I mean.. COME ON!

Also, there are some things you just can't control. No matter how hard you work for them, it doesn't turn out the way you hoped or expected. But I'm really sorry. Try feeling better. =/

And, I duno.... Like... I duno. lol.

oh man.

so there was this guy and i THOUGHT we had become really good friends because everything was going fine and then we haven't talked for over a month and i thought it was going to last forever too.

i know that sometimes he just... doesn't choose the right words, and a lot of time i feel really hurt because of the things he say, but i can't blame him. no matter what he is still my dad, and he does want what's the best for me. last year, my dad was rushed to EMS because a virus was found in his heart, and he also has diabetes, so it really makes me appreciate him more, and i just really don't want to let him down and the last thing he needs is me blaming him and make him angry. when he is really angry at me, he tells me that if he dies because i've been making him so angry, and he tells me that because of his age and everything... he says that he won't... i mean, i'd rather he just keep taking it out on me instead of talking about his death, it just.. well i am off topic.
so, the reason why they are often angry at me is because they invested so much in me, and they really wouldn't like it if i give their hopes up and become the biggest disappointment in their lives.



same here, last week my friend told my crush about me liking him and she kept on asking him how he feels about me, i just ran off because i don't want to hear what else he has to say after he said "No." that was a disappointment because he's actually given me a lot of hope, well, now i know.

it does sound like your parents are being harsh on you. i think that it's just them, not you. don't liek them put all these expectations on you. it's too much, it sounds like.


i'm sorry you didn't make it as far as you wanted in your competitions, that really sux. i wish there was something i could say to make you feel better about that, because i've certainly been there before.

as for your comments on friends and you moving a lot. i didn't have what i would call a best friend until college. i don't know what it is, but people are catty in college, very clique-y. when you go away to college, suddenly you're on your own again, and i think that wakes some ppl up with how they treat other people. when you lose your friends, and have to go back to making new ones all of a sudden, you appreciate them more. you'll find your best friends in college, trust me :)
i hope that helps :)

I'm sorry about ur comp. I know that sucks. My biggest dissapointments have been happening the most in the last few years. I'm trying to become a singer, but everytime an opportunity opens up that I think can help me get somewhere, something always goes wrong. Like I was supposed to move to california with a producer who works for sony pictures, and then three days went by and he didnt work with me at all and ended up leaving me stranded at LAX for 7 hours before my flight arrived. Now, I've been trying to go to Florida to work the club scene out there ( live in texas btw) and everything seemed to be going okay cuz my mom and her fiancee had a job set up out there to help with the hurricane relief, then the guys they were supposed to be working with never got in touch with them, so now I cant get to florida. Everytime something good seems to come my way regarding opporunities in my carreer, something always over shadows it. But in light of the bad stuff, there are a lot fo things that have happened, like my mom halped my deaf uncle from going to jail for 6 years for a crime he didnt do, soething she couldnt have done if we had gone to florida. He would have been defenseless and alone, but she was here to help him. So I guess everything happens for a reason. But I'm sorry stuff didnt work out for you. Sounds like ur dad isnt any help either. but I'm sure everything will turn up. just be positive. :D

wow, i thought that i can relax after i get into college, and that's why i did everything i could while i am still in high school. I thought that when you get into college, there are no more cliques, and that everyone hangs out with everyone and that no ones minds anyone elses' business. wow...

Ew. Self-pitious prick.
Disappointments? Him.

Wow Jay that's so much pain and anger! Hm... your parents should've at least be so supportive on you, I mean you just lost your favorite sport. Not to be rude or anything, but that was very rude for your parents to say that. I mean you're trying your best, right? And heck ya you wanna do something other than studying all day! but don't worry, maybe next time, you'll do much better! Don't let the negatives let you down. Ignore your dad's words. Also going state is pretty hard. If your partner messed it up, that's the end. No more mercy of course. But hey, at least you're alive haha. I'm not saying going state is no biggie. Just saying that you still have more chances later in the future. I don't know if you believe in God. But God has plans for you.... so I think what you should do is wait and not blame it to God. Don't know if you are blaming to God. but if you are, just stop and wait.

Anyways... I did had one disappointment today. I was supposed to meet with my tutor and discuss about my homeworks and my schoolworks. But I told her that my dad will come and visit us until 2 nights. I should've just let her stay until my dad comes. I'm just so mad. So much anger is in my right. Regretful too... I just missed my 2 days of tutoring from my tutor, Mrs. Blair. I feel bad because she came all the way from her far house from me. Every time I think about it... it just gives me stress and stress... and makes me wana cry, thinking that I'll never get my school credits at all.

Ditto. Except not with the 'him' you are referring to.

xo, Pauline

-Dropping out of ballet, gymnastics, field hockey, and most importantly.. swimming.
-Myself.
-My Family.
-Jon (exboyfriend, he killed himself..)

I don't much feel like talking about them right now.

you must be pretty strong to put up with all that.

i admire your courage

i know how it feels to have all the pressure, im an only child too.

wow, dissapointments, i have alot of them. ive screwed up everything and lied to all my friends and my family and made fake promises. ive done a lot of stupid things that i regret. i barely talk to my friends or anyone anymore. and at school and work i have to be someone that im not and act like everything in my life is just peachy. and my mom is completly(sp?) oblivious to everything. she thinks that my life is okay now when its really not, and she acts like she knows everything about my life when she doesnt even though i tell her pretty much everything she doesnt know it all. i have quit almost everything i have tried. (ice skating, gymnastics, singing, guitar, drums, dancing, modeling, etc.) ill try stuff and then wont finish. thats how ive been my whole life. wow im rambling and getting off topic. sry if its too long or winey(sp?)
i know how you feel somewhat on being a dissapointment.


(that felt really good to vent)

that's what i tell myself, i am lucky to be alive. when i compare myself to the kids picking corn in africa, i get a little bit settled down, but still. and no, i don't believe in god, i don't know, i might... there aren't going to be many chances in the future, i've only got 3 more years, and i really wanted to make these two events as a freshman, and that would mean so much to me. well, i don't blame anything on god, i mean, i am not even sure if i believe in him, whatever i do, it's my fault or the judges' fault. well, everything's done, so i need to heal from it.

people say that disappointments/obstacles make you strong, but i don't think it's true, i think a lot of times, it goes the other way, because when you get really hurt by something, you will always remember it and always be hurt, in my case, it was just a huge confidence attack.

im disapointed because i still dont have the 2 things that will propel me to excel in life. i wont say what it is cuz im too emberrased.

but when i get these 2 things. its all over. the world will bow down to me, for i will be unstoppable.