Not the first time Options

[TheSilenceInDict...]

I wrote this a long while back.
It's very straight-forward, dark and honest, intentionally not written in any poetic structure.
It's long, but I'm sure it's worth the read.
[EDIT].// TRUE STORY
---

Not The First Time

_____I always had that inner fear for him. But, as many other people do with problems they can't or are too afraid to deal with, I stuffed it into a corner of my mind, hoping to never again come across the memory. I'm really strong - both mentally and emotionally. Physically, well...that's a different story. But nothing could prepare me to endure such pain in every aspect.

_____I always find myself fighting with my mom. Hell, not a day goes by without us at least arguing once. Little did I know that one of those arguments would nearly cost me my life. I was, again, arguing with my mom one night, when I was suddenly attacked. No, not by a burglar or other stranger, but someone living with us. My step-dad apparently had enough of my rude, rebellious attitude, and just snapped. It was all a blur...Before I realized what the hell was going on, I was pinned on my bed, struggling for air. He was choking me! He had the most vile, murderous look on his eyes. I struggled with all my might, but he was far too strong. My arms flailing as his tight grip endured, and what I got out of air I used to scream. And when I did I pleaded for him to stop, to not kill me. Because I thought right then, "This is it." I even screamed out to my mother, who, as ghastly as it may seem, stood idly and watched. Watched as the man she loved, strangle the life out of the one who she brought into the world. Surprisingly and fortunately, he left, still fuming with anger. And, as I lay on bed, trembling, coughing and struck with utter, absolute fear, I watched my mother calmly and quietly leave me as she headed for her room.

_____I didn't know I'd face that fear once again. After the first time, I hoped and prayed it would never happen again. But it did. Yet another argument, this time in the kitchen, triggered the horrid attack once again. I remember what the argument was over - doing the dishes. That's right, I almost lost my life over refusing to do the damn dishes. Again, I was choked. Unlike last time, I was thrown against the wall. Fortunately, I managed to only endure it for only a short amount of time. When it was over, I was somehow able to crawl to the dining room. I was once again terrified, and just gave up and collapsed, curling into a ball on the dining room floor. There I lay for an hour, unbothered, in a pool of my own tears. I didn't see my mother until she came out of the room. She went towards me, stood above me and simply but cold-heartedly said, "Get up."

Sometimes they would wonder why I act the way I do towards them.
Sometimes I would wonder how much they value their own son's life.

[xbladeoffire90x]

awww

it's sad...:(

[dreamerOi]

melancholy. quite strange. i endured somewhat of an experience like that. and yea i also have a stepdad. except sometimes my mom would "attack" me after. but sometimes shed do nothing.

[NatiMarie]

Hmm...I really like it. As mentioned above, the melancholy feel to it, quite superb. I liked the way that you were being laconic. You weren't redundant which is always a good thing.

It was all a blur...Before I realized what the hell was going on, I was pinned on my bed, struggling for air. He was choking me!

Hmm...this seemed a bit cliche. I think that maybe you could have said that he was choking you in another way. Yeah, you weren't trying to be poetic in any nature, but then it came about as a typical story where the guy is usually choked by the step-dad, vicious sibling, or what not. I just think that you could have added a dramatic touch maybe?

I definetly like the concept...only thing I wish there was more of, is just some more outburst of imagery. I'm kind of just seeing a faint image of what's happening. Once again, yeah I know it's supposed to be straight-forward, but since you have the potential to increase the vital message you are trying to cross, that you could have grasped the reader's attention more with intense images.

Nonetheless, awesome work Joe. I really like the feel and message of it. It's quite sad, but brilliant. The structure is amazing...and lastly, the ending

Sometimes I would wonder how much they value their own son's life.

I loved that. It's really sad and it kind of leaves that irkyness in the stomach. So many people go through this madness and that's why this work of yours is very grand. Good job.
;]

[TheSilenceInDict...]

Hmm...this seemed a bit cliche. I think that maybe you could have said that he was choking you in another way.

Cliche?
I guess child abuse stories are sooo played out, eh?
I know what you were trying to say, but I went with the most simple and straight-forward path in delivering every detail. It also gives it a touch of innocence and naivete to add to the dramatical factor of the story.

Yeah, you weren't trying to be poetic in any nature, but then it came about as a typical story where the guy is usually choked by the step-dad, vicious sibling, or what not. I just think that you could have added a dramatic touch maybe?

I felt the whole story in its simple form was dramatic. I didn't feel I needed to put much effort other than presenting the story itself.
Thanks for the comments though...a little flattering with 'brilliant' and 'amazing'
I can't and wouldn't really change it, since it was written about 3 years ago.

BTW...That was a true story. The kid was me, hence the story being in first person.
Back then, I wouldn't have had the courage to post it up so openly like this.

[NatiMarie]

Cliche?
I guess child abuse stories are sooo played out, eh?
I know what you were trying to say, but I went with the most simple and straight-forward path in delivering every detail. It also gives it a touch of innocence and naivete to add to the dramatical factor of the story.

I felt the whole story in its simple form was dramatic. I didn't feel I needed to put much effort other than presenting the story itself.
Thanks for the comments though...a little flattering with 'brilliant' and 'amazing'
I can't and wouldn't really change it, since it was written about 3 years ago.

BTW...That was a true story. The kid was me, hence the story being in first person.
Back then, I wouldn't have had the courage to post it up so openly like this.

That's really brave of your to be open about stuff like that. Just wish more people were like that. *is ashamed* I'm sometimes...just, weird when putting some of my stuff out everywhere [about personal issues at home]. Maybe I'll post up one of my longest stories on CB. It's really...really long. I doubt someone would want to read through the first half

[xbladeoffire90x]

wow, i admire your courage to tell us your story. ^.^

go you!

[TheSilenceInDict...]

wow, i admire your courage to tell us your story. ^.^

go you!

Thanks, I don't mind it now.

[xquizit]

Aw man, that's terrible. You're story I mean, not the actual writing. I think its straightforwardness is appropriate for its subject matter.

I'm glad you the courage to share that with us. I'm sure there are a few people who can relate, including myself.

I hope things have been better at home. I went through similar experiences as a young child but fortunately things have been better since then. I did have to seek therapy just a couple years ago to cope with it even though it had happenned so long ago. I know the difficulty of trying to understand why these things happen to us, why our families hurt us, and the fear of it all. And often times we blame ourselves when in actuality, there's really not much we can do to change it but rather just endure it and emerge out of it with strength and grace. Eh, I don't know where I'm going with this, but I just wanted to say that I think you're handling yourself pretty well cuz I know if that had been me, I would have snapped right back.

[TheSilenceInDict...]

Eh, I don't know where I'm going with this, but I just wanted to say that I think you're handling yourself pretty well cuz I know if that had been me, I would have snapped right back.

I guess it's another example of how writing helps so much to express myself and act as an infinite outlet.
Thanks for the comment, and it's unfortunate you can relate.
It never happened again after that, and I'm sure there are kids out there going through much worse, having something like that happening to them on a daily basis.
You're right - things like these should only make us stronger.

[imadorkabledxd]

oh my gosh...i almost teared. you should talk to your mom.....i would be so pissed if that happened to me. but whatever problems you have with your mom, she's stll your mom...and i think god forbid, she's gone....you won't get any closure from all this.

[loljuliana]

wow. .that's scary. =(
the whole time, i thought this was from a girl's point of view

[iixSOOJINx]

I remember what the argument was over - doing the dishes. That's right, I almost lost my life over refusing to do the damn dishes.

that reminds me of me and my DAD. we would always fight over the dishes, but it wasnt entirely because of the actual dishes. it was because of the way he treats my brother with so much respect and kindness and treats me like nothing but a slave that does dishes everyday for EVERYBODY.
it really frustrates me.

but now i know that I should stop and get over it because the deed i do for other people, will come back to me.

[toodlepops.]

That's really sad.
Hope you're okay now. =)