memories |
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 Oct 28 2004, 08:58 AM
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#1
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*Influential Guitarist & Inspiring Writer*  Group: Official Member Posts: 1,217 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 51,134  |
the stars so high, the stars so bright
you're the only one in my life that makes things right if id ever lose you, my whole world would end it'll be nothing anymore but just friends i would miss those times when we were together how we were close just as sister and brother id remember the smiles you'd have on your face memories torn inside me, your love cant be replaced ill always be there for you like i was from the start even if you gave your love to another mans heart seeing you smile again puts the warmness on my soul but these feelings i have for you, i cant control whenever i see the both of you together holding hands i picture me and you, but i have to be a man and understand i have to let you go and all these feelings for you no matter how much it'll hurt me this is the last thing to do i still dream of you everyday but now its over, i slowly drift away |
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Oct 28 2004, 03:13 PM
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#2
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 Will write poetry for sex! Group: Member Posts: 1,110 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 600 |
Odd transition with the past tense, 'what-if', and present.
Kinda confusing what the situation is. Pretty good though. |
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Oct 28 2004, 05:49 PM
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#3
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*Influential Guitarist & Inspiring Writer* Group: Official Member Posts: 1,217 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 51,134 |
hmm ic what you mean man thnx uhh lets see proof reading time
what i mean is well lets see two people in love.. but then after the first part im flashing forward back and forth so yeah its basically saying what'd a person would do if that someone isnt there anymore |
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Oct 29 2004, 08:46 PM
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#4
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catastrophic sweetness Group: Member Posts: 92 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 58,334 |
x33333
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Oct 29 2004, 08:47 PM
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#5
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catastrophic sweetness Group: Member Posts: 92 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 58,334 |
PS--is it okay and put some of it on my AIM profile? It's a really good poem for this point in my life. Just wanna get the okay from you first.
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Oct 29 2004, 10:13 PM
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#6
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 hi, my name is brianna! =] Group: Official Member Posts: 5,764 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 22,114 |
Cute poem, I love it! xD
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Nov 1 2004, 01:12 AM
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#7
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*Influential Guitarist & Inspiring Writer* Group: Official Member Posts: 1,217 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 51,134 |
QUOTE(swtxcatastrophe @ Oct 29 2004, 5:47 PM) PS--is it okay and put some of it on my AIM profile? It's a really good poem for this point in my life. Just wanna get the okay from you first. yeh shure why not im glad someone wants to post it so gyea itd koo with me |
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Nov 1 2004, 03:57 AM
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#8
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 creepy heather Group: Official Member Posts: 4,208 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 41,580 |
ooo i like very much...i didnt like the rhyming at first but it flows pretty well with the poem :]
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| *T0rmented_Soul* |
Sep 5 2006, 12:43 PM
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#9
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Guest |
Old school stuff here. I use to be a good writer like 2-3 years ago, I wrote every day. but now it seems ive lost it.
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