the tear |
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| *CrackedRearView* |
 Jul 6 2004, 03:29 AM
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#1
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The Tear
Born out of sorrow, pain, and despair, A birth like none other, spawned without care. The tear shows no mercy, no remorse, no sympathy, It only clouds your vision, so you're unable to see. The blurs spread your eyeline like rapid fire, To be back to normal, your one desire. But time stands still when the tears are flowing... Your face beat red, your emotions showing. A drop of salty water crashes your world to the ground, All in an instant; no lights, no sound... Just in the back bedroom, sprawled on the bed, Away from the world, hands sheltering your head. The crying fails to cease, and you continue through the night, You cry yourself to sleep, awaking to the light. And then it's back to the bedroom, back to the sorrow, and back to the infamous tear... So you can finish your life, unhappy in tears, with everything unclear. I wish I was a tear, so I could start in your eyes, live on your cheek, and die on your lips... -- Justin David Johnston, 2003. What do you think? |
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Jul 6 2004, 03:31 AM
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#2
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 What the fack.  Group: Official Member Posts: 6,164 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 8,519 |
Wow, that's so deep..despite that you used too common words to rhyme with, nothing could make this poem better. (Other than you sending me a real copy with your autograph so I could hang it on my wall.) LoL. You're so talented.
 
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Jul 6 2004, 10:25 AM
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#3
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 Pimp Status Group: Member Posts: 640 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 1,200 |
Thats a great poem... Its really deep and has alot of thought and Im very happy that I've read it...IF you dont mind I think im going to post that on my xanga...Great job
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| *CrackedRearView* |
Jul 6 2004, 04:31 PM
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#4
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No, I don't care. Of course you can use it :-)
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Jul 7 2004, 01:39 AM
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#5
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 i'm susan Group: Official Member Posts: 13,875 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 5,029 |
aww it's sucha sad poem!! i dont know if i shud say it relates to me...but hmm kinda. but thats sucha great poem that justin made! hah justin...sniff i miss my bebe boo, justin >.<
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| *CrackedRearView* |
Jul 7 2004, 02:33 AM
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#6
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Justin's in the house
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| *CrackedRearView* |
Oct 15 2004, 10:01 PM
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#7
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Born out of spite, sorrow, despair,
A birth like none other, spawned without care. The tear has not a speck of sympathy, It exists to cloud your vision, unable to see. The blurs spread your eye line like rapid fire, To be back to normal, your one desire… But time stands still when the tears are flowing, Your face beat red, your emotions showing. Just in the back bedroom, lying on your bed, Away from the world, hands sheltering your head. The crying continues into the night, You cry yourself to sleep, awaking to the light. You carry on your day with artificial glee, Knowing before long you leave school at three. Then back to the pain, back to the sorrow, and back to the infamous tear. So you can finish your life, unhappy in tears, with everything unclear. I wish I was a tear… So I could start in your eyes, live on your face, and die on your lips. |
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| *mSz_dOrk_anGeL* |
Oct 15 2004, 10:03 PM
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#8
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Beautiful as ever.
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Oct 15 2004, 11:26 PM
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#9
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 Will write poetry for sex! Group: Member Posts: 1,110 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 600 |
Nice way to work around that line.
Doesn't seem to fit the poem though...Err, or maybe I'm just not thinking straight cause I'm groggy from my nap. |
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Oct 15 2004, 11:53 PM
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#10
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Eternal Syn Group: Member Posts: 398 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 24,000 |
Ya kno..Whenever I see a poem made by you, I kno it's a must read. But that might just be my opinion but yeah. Anyways it's a really good poem as always.
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Oct 16 2004, 07:25 AM
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#11
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 creepy heather Group: Official Member Posts: 4,208 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 41,580 |
QUOTE(Cloud_X @ Oct 15 2004, 11:53 PM) Whenever I see a poem made by you, I kno it's a must read. same here! the poem is strangely upbeat,,,i dont usually like that, but it wasnt as bad as i expected it to be at all. it was quite good...the last couple of line are completely gorgeous, and very original |
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Oct 16 2004, 07:47 AM
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#12
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 2,520 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 200 |
wow.. thats awesome
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Mar 18 2005, 12:27 PM
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#13
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 1,634 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 27,631 |
are the last 2 llines part of ur poem? isn't it a quote from somewhere else?
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Mar 18 2005, 06:36 PM
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#14
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 crushed. Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 9,432 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 20,026 |
wow, that's so lovely. I can relate to the "artificial glee" part.
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Mar 18 2005, 09:01 PM
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#15
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 96 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 112,370 |
That's freakin awesome, I love it.
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Mar 19 2005, 02:00 AM
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#16
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 hello : ) Group: Official Member Posts: 4,227 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 13,139 |
I like it. It's really good. But if the quote is supposed to fit in with the poem, I don't exactly see it. Maybe I should read it a few times more.
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| *salcha* |
Mar 22 2005, 02:35 AM
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#17
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like Heatherasm said, i thought it was strangely upbeat too.
but only in some certain places, it's really good though. |
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Mar 23 2005, 06:53 PM
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#18
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 I'll never be who I was again.. Group: Member Posts: 2,886 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 77,981 |
wow..that was really good...like someone said above, i too can relate to the artificial glee part...lol...good job..
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| *Azarel* |
Aug 9 2005, 02:11 PM
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#19
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A bit late, but anyway.
QUOTE(CrackedRearView @ Jul 6 2004, 1:29 AM) -- Justin David Johnston, 2003. Johnston? .....I'm not fond of rhyming, but you use it nicely, rhythmically. The last line, however, is an overused, cheesy quote - and I don't.. really.. like it. |
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