Shyness |
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 Oct 15 2004, 12:28 AM
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#1
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Eternal Syn  Group: Member Posts: 398 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 24,000  |
Drowned in your thought
Curiosity was all you brought All I wished was to get to know you I hope this is what you wish too We’re both too shy We both try to say hi But all we do is walk past each other I hope that I get a chance to talk to her I hope we get the chance to talk: Just us two Just us, you and me; no crew Your charisma is what attracted me to you I hope in due time that I can call you my boo Because seeing you and watching the way you move makes me quiver I shiver with the thought of you and the way you deliver Your style, your beauty and your attitude With these words I would compliment you with love and gratitude So please don’t say you’d rather be friends Because that would be the end That line is a wound to the heart Because letting you go, I know would be hard It was made by me and one of my friends. |
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Oct 15 2004, 03:44 AM
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#2
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 Will write poetry for sex! Group: Member Posts: 1,110 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 600 |
I find it a little odd to work on a piece like that with someone else.
 How did that come about? |
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Oct 15 2004, 06:56 PM
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#3
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Eternal Syn Group: Member Posts: 398 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 24,000 |
I don't know really. We just kinda comprimised I suppose. We both wrote stanzas and kinda just revised it afterwards.
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Oct 15 2004, 07:40 PM
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#4
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*Influential Guitarist & Inspiring Writer* Group: Official Member Posts: 1,217 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 51,134 |
again man with the MY BOO! i hate that word srry i just dont think a writing piece should have that word but thats just my opinion other than that good job have you tried writing something less rhymable??
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Oct 15 2004, 08:45 PM
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#5
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Will write poetry for sex! Group: Member Posts: 1,110 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 600 |
Yeah, I'm annoyed of that word as well.
I just associate it with those cheesy mainstream hip hop songs. |
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Oct 15 2004, 11:37 PM
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#6
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Eternal Syn Group: Member Posts: 398 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 24,000 |
I didn't mean for it to actually incorperate with the song. But it's the one word that rhymed with you that most people would call their gf's when they're with each other so that's the only reason why I used it. I have tried writing without rhyme look at my sig. that's one of my poems w/o rhyme.
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Oct 15 2004, 11:42 PM
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#7
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*Influential Guitarist & Inspiring Writer* Group: Official Member Posts: 1,217 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 51,134 |
lol i see cloud man lol ur funny i noe the my boo shyt and stuff meaning they're talking about the gf but cmon now mayn MY BOO..?!?!!? lol im sure there are other words you can rhymne it with
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Oct 15 2004, 11:45 PM
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#8
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Will write poetry for sex! Group: Member Posts: 1,110 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 600 |
Yeah, like...'The one for whom my heart stays true'
Anyway, I like the poem in your sig...Awesome shtuff. |
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Oct 15 2004, 11:46 PM
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#9
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Eternal Syn Group: Member Posts: 398 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 24,000 |
hahah iono it was the first thing that popped into my head that could make sense with the line I put up there. The only other words I could think of were, two, too, crew, and sue. I need to get a rhyming book
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Oct 15 2004, 11:59 PM
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#10
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*Influential Guitarist & Inspiring Writer* Group: Official Member Posts: 1,217 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 51,134 |
its not that u need a rhyming book its just u need to think about what u write u cant just write something ur not using ur head on then it wont have no meaning when a writer writes something they make sure they pick up a word not from a book but from using their heads lol
I DUNNO wtf i just said but yeah u noe what i mean,.. |
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Oct 16 2004, 12:01 AM
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#11
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Eternal Syn Group: Member Posts: 398 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 24,000 |
I think I got what you said. What you're saying is that what a writer must do is basically write from his/her heart and if he/she can rhyme. Correct me if I'm wrong but that is what I'm kind of interpretating from you.
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Oct 16 2004, 12:03 AM
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#12
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 hi, my name is brianna! =] Group: Official Member Posts: 5,764 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 22,114 |
Nice poem, I love it.
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Oct 16 2004, 12:20 AM
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#13
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*Influential Guitarist & Inspiring Writer* Group: Official Member Posts: 1,217 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 51,134 |
uhhh close sloud lol but not really what im saying is well yeah u write from what u see and feel and what revolves around you basing each word a meaning to it or to the point of the main idea
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Oct 16 2004, 12:40 AM
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#14
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Eternal Syn Group: Member Posts: 398 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 24,000 |
Well I understand it now since I just took a shower. I realize that when I shower it's basically when I brainstorm and it's the time when I think the most critically I don't kno why either. At least I got what you're tryin to say.
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