Darkness |
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 Oct 5 2004, 07:49 PM
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#1
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SOS Brigade!!  Group: Member Posts: 2,573 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 47,775  |
Heres something I wrote but its sort of weird so bare with me. Enjoy ! =P
Laid before me was an obstacle no man would ever want to take. Walking through a never ending tunnel of darkness. Not knowing what lays ahead was what scared me. As soon as I walked in I felt the dark piercing my heart over and over just bring pain. As I walked deeper I heard the dark trying to speak fear into me. Showing me no mercy and no end I kept wandering for hours and hours just awaiting what was next with fear. I stalled in fear for I heard noises that were coming from all directions getting closer and closer. Staying still was the only choice that my mind couldnt contiplate. I felt the darkness going past me one by one just giving me more pain and fear as they passed by. I ran for fear they would come back and do the same. Running and running never knowing when this would end. Just searching for the place where there is no fear, no pain, and a place where only peace dwells. |
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Oct 5 2004, 08:16 PM
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#2
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 Want fries with that? Group: Member Posts: 692 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 50,652 |
Woah...a bit confusing....but i liked what was in the tunnel...pretty cool stuff.
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Oct 5 2004, 11:16 PM
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#3
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SOS Brigade!! Group: Member Posts: 2,573 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 47,775 |
haha of course its confusing =P
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Oct 6 2004, 10:07 AM
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#4
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 creepy heather Group: Official Member Posts: 4,208 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 41,580 |
this is an interesting piece, its almost like being sucked into a tunnel while reading it
 you reapeat yourself a little too much, though, and takes away from the full effect
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Oct 6 2004, 06:38 PM
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#5
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SOS Brigade!! Group: Member Posts: 2,573 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 47,775 |
kk thanks for informing that i repeat =P
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Oct 6 2004, 06:58 PM
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#6
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 Can't have the hand without the cock. Group: Member Posts: 2,481 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 50,622 |
it sounds like ur running away from urself and ur "99 problems"
 , and yeah u do repeat, but overall its pretty good 
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Oct 6 2004, 07:03 PM
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#7
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SOS Brigade!! Group: Member Posts: 2,573 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 47,775 |
haha you dont even know how many problems i got =P
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Oct 6 2004, 07:14 PM
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#8
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Can't have the hand without the cock. Group: Member Posts: 2,481 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 50,622 |
haha.. true.. true
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Oct 6 2004, 07:14 PM
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#9
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SOS Brigade!! Group: Member Posts: 2,573 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 47,775 |
life is boring without them agree?
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Oct 6 2004, 07:44 PM
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#10
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Can't have the hand without the cock. Group: Member Posts: 2,481 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 50,622 |
yeah.. shOre is but.. life is stupid if u make up ur own.. damn kids these days watchin` "degrassi".. gosherrz.. i swear, that, that effing ucker mother show is manipulating kids that dont have probs, make their own, and act like the gothic cutter in that show.. sheesh
(not me)
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Oct 6 2004, 08:34 PM
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#11
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SOS Brigade!! Group: Member Posts: 2,573 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 47,775 |
no idea but OOO COOL ? lolz
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Oct 6 2004, 08:57 PM
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#12
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Can't have the hand without the cock. Group: Member Posts: 2,481 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 50,622 |
haha.. it okay. you cool. i cool. we cool. cardcaptor cool.
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Oct 6 2004, 10:53 PM
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#13
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SOS Brigade!! Group: Member Posts: 2,573 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 47,775 |
dam right cardcaptor cool =P sakura DROOL =P
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Oct 6 2004, 11:25 PM
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#14
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Can't have the hand without the cock. Group: Member Posts: 2,481 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 50,622 |
haha its all about TOMOYO (madison
) and *thinks*  fergot his jap name.. but LEE SHOWRON (?).yes.. HOT SAUCE
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Oct 7 2004, 04:06 AM
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#15
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 Will write poetry for sex! Group: Member Posts: 1,110 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 600 |
I kinda had a hard time going through this one.
I'm seeing a change in your writing, nice. And yeah, I have to agree with your piece being repetitive. Good job, Sam. |
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Oct 7 2004, 08:42 AM
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#16
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SOS Brigade!! Group: Member Posts: 2,573 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 47,775 |
QUOTE(jambaJUICE @ Oct 6 2004, 8:25 PM) haha its all about TOMOYO (madison ) and *thinks* fergot his jap name.. but LEE SHOWRON (?).yes.. HOT SAUCE i think its Li Saoran... lolz =P and thanks for the comment =P |
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Oct 7 2004, 09:13 AM
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#17
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*Influential Guitarist & Inspiring Writer* Group: Official Member Posts: 1,217 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 51,134 |
this topic went from darkness to anime lol FUNNY!
but yeh good piece you got here sam a lito repetitive but its good none the less |
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Oct 7 2004, 05:34 PM
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#18
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SOS Brigade!! Group: Member Posts: 2,573 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 47,775 |
yeah i gotta watch out for repeats =P
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