something b4 i go to school |
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 Sep 27 2004, 08:50 AM
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#1
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*Influential Guitarist & Inspiring Writer*  Group: Official Member Posts: 1,217 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 51,134  |
there comes a point in life where everyone dies
no matter how much u try, you'll eventually cry seeing a loved one die in your arms this pain you cannot bear, you'll protect it from harm now that your alone and you close the door you feel helpless as you fall to the floor missing your loved one is the right thing to do but it gets to the point where it breaks you in two when no more can u control whats in yur mind your helpless,lost with nothing to find hrmmm need masta to proofread this or anyone can proofread it if u see any mistakes kkz iight ill come back wayyy later on peace |
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Sep 27 2004, 08:58 AM
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#2
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SOS Brigade!! Group: Member Posts: 2,573 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 47,775 |
wahh we must stop with rhymes... its your mind not yur ... hahaha anyways i found it good =P
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Sep 27 2004, 09:00 AM
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#3
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*Influential Guitarist & Inspiring Writer* Group: Official Member Posts: 1,217 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 51,134 |
i cant help it lol ive been rhyming and rhyming kinda got a habit of it but still tryin to change
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Sep 27 2004, 09:02 AM
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#4
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SOS Brigade!! Group: Member Posts: 2,573 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 47,775 |
same here... imma try my best not to rhyme only rhyme on certain times =P i promise ill come home from school with poems!!
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| *wind&fire* |
Sep 27 2004, 08:43 PM
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#5
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the rhyming is very obvious...just make the poem flow....
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Sep 27 2004, 08:54 PM
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#6
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*Influential Guitarist & Inspiring Writer* Group: Official Member Posts: 1,217 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 51,134 |
okkk mzzzz aznbus lets see if i can do that
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