A Long Distance Relationship, with the guy you know is true....... Options

[luckyxi3]

i met this guy on xanga and we started to talk.

at first he was just some guy who usually just ims you to tell you about visiting your site.

then later on we became good friends and i think he asked me out in a way. asking me about age difference and distance.

but here`s the problem.. he lives all the way in nevada [las vegas] and i live here in ny. another problem is he`s 19 while i`m 14 and he`s planning to go to the navy in 3 months. i just think that age is a number but IF we ever did think about getting married, i know my parents wouldn`t let me get married that young while he`s like already old and should`ve gotten married. i just don`t wanna hold him back

i totally like him and he`s an amazing person. we totally understand each other and basically know what each other says or feels.

i`ve asked my friend already if i should take this risk. she said no because it will be hard for me because he`s gonna be going to the navy for years.

i wish he would just change his mind about going to the navy and move here to ny.. but i don`t wanna change what he thought about in years and the fact that i`ve only been in his life not that long. that`s only destiny at work if it does really happen.

what would you do or what should i do? let go of the guy i know could be mr. right or just go for it and find out the consequences?

he always told me to think before i do or say anything because it will eventually always end up with consequences. well i`ve thought about it for so long and i don`t know what are my consequences...

[sporadic]

Hmm....
Well, if he is "Mr. Right" give him all the information he'd ever need to contact you and vice versa. When he's out of the Navy, if you haven't found anyone else, then you guys can date or whatever it is you intend to do.

[DrEaMgUy2K1]

dont even think about it missy!

[inthemudhole]

I kind of agree with both of you..

Maybe don't think about it.. online stuff CAN be dangerous.

Maybe you should give him SOME contact information for when he does get out of the Navy, and if you haven't found someone else and he hasn't, he can recontact you.

[captivatedheart]

first of all, you guys haven't seen each other yet? cause i'm not all that sure if it's sucha good idea. you'll never be able to see him, plus he's going to the navy for years and who knows what will happen. and if everything was "meant to be", you guys would meet later and make everything work out. but my opinion, give him some contact info (phone number) and if everything works out and you 2 find no one else, it's all good.

long distance relationships sure suck.

[aznriceboi]

married!?!? are you crazy? i was in the same situtition as you are in now but with my ex girlfriend. she lived 150 miles away from me and i never got to see her in person. and thats how it all started out with xanga. we IM eachother then i like her because she seemed cool and all. it lasted for 6 month and end abrupply. long distance usually never last. so don't waste your time on it. all thats going to happen in the end is someones going to get hurt. then you'll break up

[eversosweet]

im in ur situation rite now but we hav met each b4 like even our parents haf

[mouse_3k]

uh...

19 yr old and a 14 yr old..

already thinking about marriage..when u havent met him



well he might be some fat ol 40 yr old guy.

the age though, still..doubtful buuuut w/ floats ur boat

[KrunkMuzik]

I don't like long-distance realtionships. . I used to "net date" but I realized it doesn't work out. It's not the same as having some one next to you. I recommend having a "real" relationship.

[luckyxi3]

noo i`m not thinking of marrying him.. i`m just saying it`s an example of holding him back... i`m just thinking ahead... but i`m NOT thinking of marrying him now

[xoxspanky569]

Here is the things that a relationship needs:

1. Faithfulness
The guy is 19 and your 14...which means you are legally not aloud to have sex...if you DO end up dating..i highly doubt that he would want to wait 4 years for it...and he might end up cheating on you..which would suck.
2. Trust (related to faithfulness)
You need to be able to COMPLETELY trust this guy and have ZERO doubts about him. Seeing as you've never seen him before, never really met him, and he's 19 and your 14, things are going to be EXTREMELY hard in this catagory.
3. Contact
Whether you like it or not, you are going to have to be able to see each other once a month AT THE LEAST, if you can't manage that, things wont last long at all.
4. Similarities
You guys have to like some of the same stuff, so that you have things to talk about.
5. Differences
By having differences you have your own opinion...if you guys can accept each others opinion, that's good, you need to be able to do that.
6. Humor
You need to be able to laugh at the dumb things you guys do...or you will constantly be mad. No one likes a CONSTANTLY serious person.
7. Attraction
It's nice to have close friends, but if you want a romantic relationship with this guy, you are going to have to be physically attracted to him.
8. Conversations
You guys need to be able to consult in each other, no matter what the subject at hand may be, you need to be understanding, and you need to listen.

Well....if you guys can manage that...then things should work out...if not...then don't bother.

The doctor is out,
Spanky

[ComradeRed]

Join the navy with him.

[luckyxi3]

wow thanx spanky ... trust is good, similarities are better, humor is on the top of the list and conversations are waay past needed to be fixed... in other words i do trust him, he`s really funny, we seem to like the same things, and our conversations are never boring

haha... nice idea comradered

[hybrid]

Easy, do what your heart tells you to do.

[hoshino_aya]

Dude...take it easy!! I have no idea what you should do, but the only person who knows is you. You choose, cuz this isn't my life. I'm living through what you're living through too. I'm 16 and the dude's like 22. But it's okay, because I chose on my own. Now, we're just good buddies. It's more than no friendship, right? So, take your time, even if it rakes forever. Believe me, I should now! ^_^

[LiNHy POO]

wow i can relate alot!!! me and my boyfriend are in a long distance relationship and we're dealing with a 4 year age difference too. well seems like you really like him... but yess does he really care for you though? if he did i think he could wait to go the navy... make a compromise, maybe he can move to ny for a year? and then head off to the navy? but yehh.. try that. but if that doesnt work... and if both of you have trust in each other to wait... then go for it!

[betrayedbytheduc...]

gotta let this problem go. i already went through it and it didn't work out because it drove me crazy just waiting for him all the time. at your age you need to be going out there and experiencing different relationships which doesn't involve long distance.

[*Weird addiction*]

dont date him...its going to be very painful 4 u....and ur family...

[xocrziiblondeox]

did you ever meet him? i mean if hes in nevada.. thats along way away and long distance relationships dont work very well.. especially if hes going to the navy. if youve never met him then i would say no. how do u kno if this guy is for real?

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[sweetdreamsx3]

dont even think about it missy!

I agree with him and your best friend.

[*hcosurfkid*]

My older sister is 17, and this summer we went on a cruise (mariner fo teh seas) and it was 1 week in teh caribbean.. On teh first day me and my sister and like all the 350 kids ages 14-18 bonded really well and had thei own groups of frirends.. MEa nd ym sister met these Kids andy and scott.. MY sister fell in lvoe with the kid andy and didnt want to leave th cruise.. My parents still dont know about this kid... but anyways, on the last dya of the cruise we all gto massively drunk adn my sister mad out with this kid andy for a really long time.. SHe cried almost the whole 3 hours home on the plane ride from flordia.. Now andy and scott and me bonded liek we were brothes so it was emotional for mee 2. But besides the point they live nin Wisconsin and we liek in Massachusetts ont eh coast.. That si a long way.. But we keep in touch by aim and other things.. NExt summa my sister is gunna drive down there and stay there for most of the summa. im going wit h ehr.. i cant wait.. So there is nutten wrong with a long distance relaitonship..

[sunissed14127]

i would b careful & if u really think hes mr.right then give him all the things he would need 2 reach u

[hoshino_aya]

I agree with sunissed14127. Now, are you still taking your time?

[Dark Saga]

How sweet..

I am in a long distance relationship too, and it's the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I love my girlfriend so much, but you need A LOT of trust to handle a long distance relationship. Hope everything works out!

[slurp]

noone knows how you feel as much as you do. if you really think hes the one then you can give him all your information that he can reach you with. after he comes back from the army you can probably meet together or something. if its meant to be it'll be, follow your heart.