My Christmas Eve, Based on true events. |
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| *CrackedRearView* |
 Aug 12 2004, 06:21 PM
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#1
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One of the most emotionally difficult poems I've ever written:
Yeah, basketball practice was one to remember, A conditioning nightmare, 24th of December. In a locker room so quiet, I began to realize, As I slipped my sweater on, I longed for your eyes. My darling female, my pride and joy, It was such a nice feeling, just a girl, just a boy. Twenty fingertips touching, four lips pressed firm, You'd touch me, I'd fidget, I'd touch you, you'd squirm. A pedestal so high, it was like shangri la, How my heart jumped, it struck me with awe. I had to see you, just for satisfaction, Simply to confirm our undying attraction. I fired up my Jeep, and delved out into the snow, Just so I could gaze at you, just so I could know. Andy's Christmas party, the happening place, 101 Twelfth Street, where I could caress your face. I trotted to the door, and I rang the bell, I was greeted by friends with bad news to tell. "She's upstairs to the right, please stay down here," "Why, why musn't I run to my dear?" I shoved through the mob, and leapt up the stairs, "I hope everything's okay," I threw out my prayers. I opened the door, heard some commotion, Gazed in the room, two bodies in motion. A teammate of mine with you under the covers, Just for the night, two drunken lovers. I covered my face, stricken with anguish, I was emotionally crushed, I began to languish. My legs felt so heavy as I ran to my truck, I turned the key, my ignition was stuck. So here I sat, with half a heart, All thanks to you, my love, you ripped it apart. |
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Aug 16 2004, 01:27 PM
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#2
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 Ah, mon Dieu !  Group: Member Posts: 2,274 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,587 |
 i like this...
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| *CrackedRearView* |
Aug 17 2004, 12:53 AM
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#3
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It wasn't an easy poem to write, that's for sure.
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Aug 18 2004, 02:47 AM
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#4
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 1,384 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 37,337 |
hey thats realli nice poem i like it
the ending is realli strong 
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| *CrackedRearView* |
Aug 18 2004, 10:57 PM
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#5
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I slipped this poem under her door a week or so after the incident -- she said it made her feel like the most awful person ever born
 We've since made amends -- but I'll never have that love I used to, y'know? |
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Aug 23 2004, 06:44 PM
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 i'm susan Group: Official Member Posts: 13,875 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 5,029 |
wow justin!! omg-_- the person u love was under the bed sheets with ur teammates?! omg that sounds so horrible! and sorry that ur cat died-_-;; anyways that was a strong description poem u ever made! wow... she must felt reallie bad when she read that poem! wow O_O
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| *CrackedRearView* |
Sep 3 2004, 04:26 PM
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#7
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QUOTE(anqel_r0h @ Aug 23 2004, 5:44 PM) wow justin!! omg-_- the person u love was under the bed sheets with ur teammates?! omg that sounds so horrible! and sorry that ur cat died-_-;; anyways that was a strong description poem u ever made! wow... she must felt reallie bad when she read that poem! wow O_O Sadly, but surely. |
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Sep 5 2004, 09:34 PM
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#8
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 43 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 45,943 |
whoever you are.... you have amazing talent and NEVER EVER let it go... i would really like to chat with you some more. your poem was amazing
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| *CrackedRearView* |
Sep 5 2004, 09:58 PM
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#9
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AIM: aDumbBlondeGuy
I have an ample supply of poetry to dish out 
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Sep 6 2004, 05:14 PM
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 The voices talk too much... -.-u Group: Member Posts: 2,099 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 39,078 |
^_^u
-doesn't wanna say what she's gonna say- Erm... Nice poem. |
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Sep 7 2004, 08:05 PM
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#11
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 88 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 5,472 |
i like that poem but its very sad
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Sep 7 2004, 08:35 PM
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 smiling hurts Group: Member Posts: 480 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 22,630 |
People are so talented in expression nowadays.. Ive read alot of poems in here and they are all good! Keep on writing!
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Sep 8 2004, 07:47 PM
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 i've never wanted anything rationale. Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 8,449 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 19,045 |
amazing
i love it! |
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| *CrackedRearView* |
Sep 17 2004, 11:41 PM
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#14
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There's a longer version..if you want it PM me.
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Sep 21 2004, 12:10 PM
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cb=bullshit. Group: Member Posts: 1,783 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,793 |
That stupid whore I want to kill her now...
That's so sad... aww [hugs crackedrearview-i would've put your name but I don't know it] odsgihdasgihaghdag I'm so mad.... As for the poem... it's really really good... So what happened? |
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| *CrackedRearView* |
Sep 21 2004, 03:16 PM
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QUOTE(omg_melface @ Sep 21 2004, 11:10 AM) That's so sad... aww [hugs crackedrearview-i would've put your name but I don't know it] As for the poem... it's really really good... So what happened? My name's Justin. Thanks for saying my poem is good We still talk on random occasions...but I will never love her again. Sadly, since then, I've been girlfriendless. It's put a permanent hesitance in me But thanks so much Mel...and thanks for commenting on the xanga. |
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Oct 4 2004, 03:24 AM
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#17
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Member Group: Member Posts: 12 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 30,969 |
that is so sad... esp on xmas eve
snifflesniffle |
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Oct 4 2004, 09:05 AM
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*Influential Guitarist & Inspiring Writer* Group: Official Member Posts: 1,217 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 51,134 |
whoah wow damn good poem man
srry to hear about your girl under the covers with that guy i would kick his ass but whoah we never had a poem like this here GOOD JOB MAN |
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Oct 4 2004, 07:20 PM
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#19
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 Can't have the hand without the cock. Group: Member Posts: 2,481 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 50,622 |
QUOTE(F1R3B4T @ Aug 18 2004, 2:47 AM) hey thats realli nice poem i like it the ending is realli strong
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Oct 5 2004, 12:07 AM
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 1,989 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 10,691 |
Nice...
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Apr 11 2005, 02:01 AM
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#21
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 hello : ) Group: Official Member Posts: 4,227 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 13,139 |
I'm bumping this topic =]
It's really well written Justin. I'm sorry though that that had to happen to you. |
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Apr 11 2005, 09:26 PM
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#22
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Brie Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 10,172 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 20,548 |
Wow.
That was very good, Justin. Very, very well-written. Lovely job. 
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Jun 4 2005, 03:15 PM
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#23
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 There is no cure for the heart of tearless eyes. -James Hall Group: Member Posts: 67 Joined: May 2005 Member No: 141,536 |
I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt you, she was drunk. Drinking can lead to people making mistakes like that. I knew a friend that did about the same thing. I can understand you wouldn't love her anymore, but there are couples who have made it through these kinds of incidents. I'm sorry things went that way Justin, I wish the best for you.
Reminds me of I Saw Red by Warrant. |
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Jun 4 2005, 11:53 PM
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#24
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 ♥ Group: Official Member Posts: 4,066 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 18,393 |
I'm adding a very, very late reply to yet another bump.
Justin, you amaze me. That was terrible. I want to hurt this stupid girl, you have no idea. But YAY! I'm so happy for you now that you're with Anna. I'm glad things are working out for you both, you know I support whatever you choose to do. I sound so cheesy, but whatever. You know how it is. 
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| *Kathleen* |
Jun 6 2005, 01:10 PM
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#25
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Wow - I'm glad you guys bumped this, or else I wouldn't have had the pleasure of reading this.
 I feel so redundant saying this, but you have so much talent, you know that? Haha. Can I borrow some?
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