the crush, lovesick ramblings Options

[orionpax]

aaah. this came to me a moment ago. okay its abit long. tell me what u think.
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the crush

i once had a crush on a girl long ago,
she had beauty and grace like the falling snow,
she was fair and sweet and heaven sent,
she had a voice like an angel in a feathery descent,
she sang and she smiled away from my eyes,
i sat rooted in my seat in an awed disguise,
i saw her walk up and join her friends,
i said to myself "i'll never be them,"
then one day she came to sing for us,
i swear i felt my heart turn to dust,
there she was, the diamond, the pearl,
she twirled her hair like a little girl,
when it was all finally done and gone,
and the singing had passed like the coming of dawn,
one day i was lucky to meet her again,
we talked and we laughed and we became friends,
in such joy and delight did i frolic and bathe,
her beauty and warmth were like a summer's wave,
i'd see her pass by and we'd both say hi,
my feelings for her grew through a limitless sky,
and so it became strong our will to become friends,
we started seeing each other again and again,
one fateful day when dusk was near,
we talked about life, our dreams, and fears,
the words became deep, only for her and i,
and finally we kissed, under the dark night sky,
that kiss now seemed such a long time ago,
now things have changed and i feel it so,
u see we fell in love, her and i,
but it was never meant to be our time,
we fell for reasons i will not state,
too painfull to bear and linked with fate,
for now i will do without that love,
for i believe that it is all destined above,
thankfully our love as friends would not bend,
i'd rather have that than just let it end.
i look back and see love and sorrow,
but at least i know,
i get to see u tomorrow.

Copyright © 2004 Reza Sallehuddin

[*Kathleen*]

Aww. Now I can say the same to you about being able to distinctly envision the scene.

[orionpax]

i'm tellin' u we'd make a good team. with our supernatural envisioning skills we can take the world by the neck and plunge it full of heaven sent beauty, knives, and moonlit graveyards. oh and a bit of beatles here and there

[eboarder2020]

WOOT...Good stuff!~

[whomps]

Whoa.. that was good.

[JlIaTMK]

really really good

[orionpax]

i'm thinking of submitting this to my local uni publication for a competition. do u guys think it would survive? i'm trying to pick my best one and i like this alot...

[*RiC3xBoy*]

yes

[Rachel]

that was reallllly good! <3 props to you

[F1R3B4T]

wow thats such a great poem/story

[orionpax]

thanx RiC3xBoy, xxcrazyjewxx, and F1R3B4T for the input. here's hoping they love sappy poetry

[ComradeRed]

Here's a Haiku about a crush:

Walking in the Night,
A boulder fell and crushed me,
And then I was dead.

[orionpax]

*claps*

here's a nursery rhyme about a crush:

roses are red,
grass is green,
i felt no pain,
when the truck crushed my spleen.