HOW TO TREAT A LADY 101 |
Humor Forum Rules
Please respect our community and follow the rules. There are many types of humor so we can do without those that aim to hurt/offend individuals and groups of people alike.
The community guidelines are addressed to ALL forums, which means the humor forum is undoubtedly included. However, we stress that these rules are especially observed in this forum:
NO OBSCENITY
This includes, but is not limited to excessive swearing, flaming, posting of pornographic images Racism, Homophobic, sexist remarks or bigotry of any sort.
PICTURES: No nudity of any type is allowed on the boards.
NO DUPLICATE TOPICS
If a topic exists a couple of pages away covering the same issues then the new one will be deleted or merged. Look through the pages to see if it has already been posted, if not then it should be okay to post.
Please do not violate the guidelines. It is here for a reason and is not to be ignored.
Thank you.
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 Feb 2 2007, 11:39 AM
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#1
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Senior Member  Group: Member Posts: 283 Joined: Jan 2007 Member No: 499,850  |
1. When she asks how she looks shrug and say could be better. This will keep her on her toes and girls love that.
2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. (Or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really hard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.) 3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up. 4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is, say you better be. Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care. 5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement and every girl needs some improvement. 6. Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. Then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them, because jewellery is for pussies and Asian ladies. 7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she’s looking. When she is, stare into her eyes mouth the words fu-k you and grab the other girl’s @$$. Girls love competition. 8. Introduce her to your friends as some chick. Women love those special nicknames. 9. Warm her up when she’s cold...and not by giving her your jacket... Then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say if you don't stop b!tching about the cold right now you're going to be b!tching about a black eye. The best way to get warm is with fear. 10. Take her to a party. When you get there she’ll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party's dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party. 11. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. Why shouldn't girls? 12. If you care about her never ever tell her. This will only give her self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be. 13. Every time you're in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way she’ll go crazy. 14. Give her one of your t-shirts......and make sure it has your smell on it. but not a sexy cologne smell. A bad smell. You know what I'm talking about. 15. Titty twisters and plenty of them. 16. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she'll think you're mysterious. 17. Remember her birthday but don't get her something. Teach her material objects aren't important. The only thing that’s important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get. 18. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just when ever, take it and tell her you love it. Then next time you know she's coming over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this one that much but I think it's funny. 19. If she’s mad at you for not calling her when you say you will promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will make sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call you're going to tell her a special surprise. Now she’ll be really excited. Now don't call. 20. Next time you are having sex, make sure you get off before she does, then get off her and leave. Girls love that. 21. When she asked “does my butt look big in this?” Don’t say anything. Wait until you get to the party. When you’re there, remind her of the question she asked before. Now grab some stranger and ask for there opinion on her butt. Girls love public attention. |
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Feb 2 2007, 01:35 PM
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#2
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 WarPath Leader. Group: Member Posts: 668 Joined: Aug 2005 Member No: 216,721 |
QUOTE 6. Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. Then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them, because jewellery is for pussies and Asian ladies. Racism? since when is that allowed around here? All this step-by-step-crap is just junk and i really don't know why i wasted my time reading it. |
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Feb 2 2007, 02:21 PM
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#3
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 Being happy...is all that matters Group: Member Posts: 765 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 102,284 |
I'm sure girls don't like being treated like shit, and please, refrain from posting stuff like that in the future.
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Feb 2 2007, 02:58 PM
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#4
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 what do you think it says....if so obvious. Group: Member Posts: 1,838 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 52,420 |
hmmm .......this is verryyy berry interesting .
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| *xcaitlinx* |
Feb 2 2007, 03:04 PM
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#5
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wow, lighten the f**k up. this is HILARIOUS. i'm goign to read it to my boyfriend later. hahha.
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Feb 2 2007, 03:07 PM
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#6
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 283 Joined: Jan 2007 Member No: 499,850 |
QUOTE(xcaitlinx @ Feb 2 2007, 3:04 PM)  wow, lighten the f**k up. this is HILARIOUS. i'm goign to read it to my boyfriend later. hahha. YES. FINALLY. SOMEONE GOT THE JOKE. |
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| *Uronacid* |
Feb 2 2007, 03:11 PM
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#7
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AHAHAAHAHHAhahahahhahaAHaHAHAHahahahHAhahAHhaHahaHHAHA... *writing notes...*
I knew you would come back you f_ckin retard, you should join the Trinity. |
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Feb 2 2007, 03:12 PM
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#8
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 283 Joined: Jan 2007 Member No: 499,850 |
I missed making fun of retards like the first two responsers in this thread.
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Feb 2 2007, 03:13 PM
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#9
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 -Officially Insane- Group: Member Posts: 870 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 117,293 |
wtf? haha
Moved to Humor. This post has been edited by mona lisa: Feb 2 2007, 03:32 PM |
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Feb 2 2007, 11:30 PM
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#10
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I'm Cattt. :] Group: Validating Posts: 1,722 Joined: Apr 2005 Member No: 130,831 |
This is the Humor section. Things here are not suppose to be taken seriously. Chill please.
QUOTE 6. Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. Then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them, because jewellery is for pussies and Asian ladies. HAHAHAHA!   
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| *a painefull euphoria* |
Feb 2 2007, 11:45 PM
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#11
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QUOTE 15. Titty twisters and plenty of them. hhaha ow. |
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Feb 2 2007, 11:48 PM
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#12
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 (′ ･ω･｀) Group: Official Designer Posts: 6,179 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 72,477 |
Thought its supposed to be 101, where's the rest of the tips?
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Feb 3 2007, 05:27 AM
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#13
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 283 Joined: Jan 2007 Member No: 499,850 |
QUOTE(icy_wonderland @ Feb 2 2007, 11:48 PM) Thought its supposed to be 101, where's the rest of the tips? Wait 'till you get in college, kid. |
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Feb 3 2007, 04:23 PM
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#14
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 CB's Forum Troll Group: Member Posts: 926 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 115,142 |
QUOTE(hi im seon ho @ Feb 2 2007, 3:12 PM) I missed making fun of retards like the first two responsers in this thread. Don't worry about it, createblog's forum troll is on the case. QUOTE(Claudel @ Feb 2 2007, 1:35 PM) Racism? since when is that allowed around here? All this step-by-step-crap is just junk and i really don't know why i wasted my time reading it. No you f**king retard, it's called humor, now slit your wrists and have a tea party with your homosexual friends. QUOTE(SimplicityGirl @ Feb 2 2007, 2:21 PM) I'm sure girls don't like being treated like shit, and please, refrain from posting stuff like that in the future. Shut the f**k up. /end discussion |
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Feb 3 2007, 05:35 PM
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#15
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 i've never wanted anything rationale. Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 8,449 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 19,045 |
QUOTE(magicfann @ Feb 3 2007, 2:23 PM) Don't worry about it, createblog's forum troll is on the case. No you f**king retard, it's called humor, now slit your wrists and have a tea party with your homosexual friends. Shut the f**k up. /end discussion Stop bashing, cursing, making posts like these. Verbal warning. |
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Feb 3 2007, 05:45 PM
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#16
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 192 Joined: Jan 2007 Member No: 499,764 |
hehehehe ahahahahahaha
that was hilarious =] lighten up, guys. it's HUMOR. |
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Feb 3 2007, 06:36 PM
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#17
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WarPath Leader. Group: Member Posts: 668 Joined: Aug 2005 Member No: 216,721 |
QUOTE(gita @ Feb 4 2007, 12:45 AM) hehehehe ahahahahahaha that was hilarious =] lighten up, guys. it's HUMOR. I DONT think that racism should be taken as HUMOR, how about i go and start a topic like "how to treat a Ni&&er 101? i doubt too many will take the "humor" out of that. HA HA HA! /doh |
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Feb 3 2007, 09:31 PM
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#18
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 Lauren :D Group: Member Posts: 2,105 Joined: Jul 2005 Member No: 176,997 |
QUOTE(hi im seon ho @ Feb 2 2007, 11:39 AM) 9. Warm her up when she’s cold...and not by giving her your jacket... Then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say if you don't stop b!tching about the cold right now you're going to be b!tching about a black eye. The best way to get warm is with fear. Hahahahahahahaahahahahahaha. This made my night. Reminds me of those things in the locker rooms. |
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Feb 3 2007, 10:58 PM
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#19
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 211 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 9,257 |
QUOTE(Claudel @ Feb 3 2007, 7:36 PM) I DONT think that racism should be taken as HUMOR, how about i go and start a topic like "how to treat a Ni&&er 101? i doubt too many will take the "humor" out of that. HA HA HA! /doh Yeah because you know, the person who wrote this did it because he/she is seriously racist and sexist. Not because he/she is funny. Oh no, the person who wrote this did not do it to be funny. The person who wrote this does not have a sense of humor. And the person who wrote this did it only to offend people. People like you. Or wait... Maybe it's somebody else that doesn't have a sense of humor. And that somebody thinks the world revolves around him/her, and that the world is completely, 100% PC. And humorless. 
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Feb 4 2007, 06:04 AM
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#20
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WarPath Leader. Group: Member Posts: 668 Joined: Aug 2005 Member No: 216,721 |
roflmaover.
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Feb 4 2007, 11:11 AM
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#21
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CB's Forum Troll Group: Member Posts: 926 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 115,142 |
QUOTE(Claudel @ Feb 4 2007, 6:04 AM) roflmaover. Uh. You're stupid. Stop talking. Please stop member bashing. Its unnecessary. - My Cinderella. |
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Feb 4 2007, 12:05 PM
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#22
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 211 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 9,257 |
QUOTE(magicfann @ Feb 4 2007, 12:11 PM) Uh. You're stupid. Stop talking. You're cool. I like you. Let's get married. |
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Feb 5 2007, 06:30 AM
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#23
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WarPath Leader. Group: Member Posts: 668 Joined: Aug 2005 Member No: 216,721 |
QUOTE(magicfann @ Feb 4 2007, 6:11 PM) Uh. You're stupid. Stop talking. Uh, i was typing, reta. |
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Feb 5 2007, 09:03 AM
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#24
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i've never wanted anything rationale. Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 8,449 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 19,045 |
Please stop spamming and bashing guys. The list was obviously written to be funny/sarcastic, not to be taken seriously.
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Feb 5 2007, 01:33 PM
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#25
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WarPath Leader. Group: Member Posts: 668 Joined: Aug 2005 Member No: 216,721 |
Yeah let's all start making racial comments for the others to laught at. duh
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