stuck in the past, hmmm Options

[*T0rmented_Soul*]

playing the same song over and over again
like a broken record that plays on its own
this past life i wish i hadn't attain
left me useless, living life all alone

sometimes i wonder, if you were really here
did you ever care, or was it just a game
take a chance to look at these tears
or would you deny and not take any blame

im sad and tired, i want to move on
forget about you and these memories
let them be gone

ill open my eyes and lay under the stars
ill let the last tear drop fall down my face
let me atone and heal my scars
let me be able to feel and embrace

not finished yet but im still thinking.

[Ekay]

let me atone and heal my scars
let me be able to feel and embrace

i think atone would sound better if you changed it alone. cuz when i read it, it doesn't seem like you have anything to "atone" for. good though.

[*Kathleen*]

I like the anaphora in the last stanza; however, I dunno.. I suggest adding a line to the third stanza so that it.. matches the rest of them. Just a suggestion, though!

[*T0rmented_Soul*]

lol thanks, i was listening to an instrumental that flowed with the poem maybe thats why it doesnt sound clear XD

[wildncrazyath3rt]

I like the anaphora in the last stanza; however, I dunno.. I suggest adding a line to the third stanza so that it.. matches the rest of them. Just a suggestion, though!

yes very true.
but also its moving.. it seems alot of pepole can relate to it
but well done.