The Chisellia Tragedy, I need your opinions. Options

[*iNyCxShoRT*]

For all those who have the patience to read, I'd like you to give me feedback on my historical fiction story for my ELA homework.

-Chapter 1: Caleb’s “Lesson”-

“Stop it, daddy! You’re hurting Caleb!”
The whip ignored Kailena’s desperate cries and slashed her 8-year-old brother on the back.
“Oh come on, Kai. You’re too soft. Let him be, he needs to be disciplined. This has happened too many times.” Her older brother, Diggory smirked.
“Right you are, Diggory.” Their father, Sir Richard Henry the 3rd replied, and then turned to face the weeping boy.
“Caleb, I don’t understand. Why must you keep doing this?”
Caleb murmured something under his heavy sobbing.
“SPEAK UP!” Sir Richard bellowed.
“I – I don’t know, sir. I – I just hate them.” Caleb managed to utter.
“You make no sense, Caleb.” His father spoke.
Caleb glared, “O – Oh, but sir. I make p – perfect sense. I d – despise them all, they shouldn’t e – even deserve to live.”
You see, Caleb Gregory Chisellia had not lived any ordinary life. Neither did the other Chisellia children. Caleb grew up hating women, girls, any female for one particular reason. He hadn’t a mother growing up, for she had passed away, in a struggle against a fever. He merely saw, his father and Diggory, as well as Kailena. But he treated Kailena the same way he did with all the other girls. At school, he was known to hit girls. Slap them. Yell at them, for no apparent reason. Though Kailena tried to ease Caleb’s hatred toward the female gender, she never saw the day in which her little brother ever trusted her.
Sir Richard sighed, and lowered his whip. He normally didn’t hit his children. In fact, this was something he never saw himself doing, but, to teach Caleb a lesson.
“Caleb. Son. They mean well. They’ve done nothing to make you hate them so much. Please, try to not let this happen again.” his father said Caleb’s teachers had been complaining about this problem for months now and Sir Richard had no choice but to teach him a lesson.
Caleb got up slowly, but he didn’t answer. He lifted his head, gave a little sneer and nodded his head toward his father and Diggory.
“Yes, sir.”
“Good. Now go on to your room. You have a piano lesson in an hour.” Sir Richard replied.
Caleb nodded once more and walked toward the staircase. As he passed Diggory he said nothing and merely gave a half smile. But as he got to Kailena, he stopped and whispered.
“Don’t think you standing up for me changes anything, Kailena. You’re just like the rest of them. Filthy. No good. It displeases me to know I was born with such an ungrateful tramp, for a sibling.” He growled and continued up the stairs, rubbing his back occasionally.
Kailena dropped her head and frowned, embarrassed that she had been confronted by her own little brother. Diggory smiled kindly, and walked over to Kailena.
“Ah, Kai. Don’t let it get to you. Caleb’s been like that, you know how he is.”
Kailena bit her lip, holding back tears. She took a deep breath and spoke.
“I guess you’re right, Diggory. It’s just that. I don’t want him to hate me. I mean, I love him as a little brother and I’d do anything to take care of him. I just, don’t get why he’s so harsh.”
“Kai…I – we both know why he’s like this. Neither of us is to blame for mum’s…” Diggory paused; he swallowed hard as if looking for the right word to say.
“Death.” He said softly, then licked his lips and looked away.
There was a long pause between the two, until their father finally spoke.
“Children, I know this is a strong moment. But you two best get ready for your lessons. I know you miss your mother, terribly, as do I. But…we have to move on. I want you guys to know something.”
He paused.
“Have you ever wondered why, you two have had such unique names compared to Caleb’s? …It is because, your mother named the both of you herself. She was always the creative one. She loved to paint. She loved to sing, to dance; she even loved to make pottery. Just like you, Kailena. And Diggory…oh my good boy, Diggory. You used to love to go horseback riding with your mother. Oh, how you two made a great team. There will always be something of your mother that will remain within you two forever. And. That is your names and your spirits.” Sir Richard grinned at the both of them.
Kailena and Diggory smiled, bowed down to their father and quickly went up the stairs. Their father had made their day, and nothing could’ve brought them down that night.


Chapter 2: “The letter from Aunt Bethany”

“ Father! Father! We’ve gotten a letter! We’ve gotten a letter!” Caleb shrieked as he ran about the house looking for Sir Richard.
Kailena and Diggory ran down the stairs as fast as their legs could carry them once they heard Caleb’s message, Sir Richard came out from his bedroom shortly after.
“What is it, son? Here, here give it.” Sir Richard demanded.
Caleb handed the letter to his father carefully, making sure not to rip it.
Sir Richard cleared his throat and carefully opened the letter. His eyes traced along the lines of the words and his mouth would move occasionally, reading each word. When he was finished, he looked up, then at the children, then to the letter once more.
Sir Richard paused, took a deep breath and spoke. “ Children, you all remember you’re good Aunt Bethany, don’t you?” he asked.
The Chisellia children gossiped among each other, giggling as they spoke. Finally, they looked up and nodded. Caleb, as usual made his rude remarks.
“You mean, the one with the huge fanny?” he held his laughter.
Sir Richard smiled, but didn’t answer.
“Aunt Bethany has invited us over for dinner at the Baldeguire mansion. Oh how lovely.” He smiled.
Kailena’s face brightened. She had always loved Aunt Bethany’s mansion. She remembered as a kid, Diggory and her would always go on little adventures, exploring the different depths of the mysterious mansion.

This is what I have so far; what do you guys think?

[xxxSiERRAxxx]

AY! Grrr....now I'm like...shaking I want to find out what happens!! It is VERY well written - you have set up the story very well - and the vocabulary is excellent. UGh..now I'm gonna stay up all night just WAITING for you to finish it...argh

--->Sierra

[*iNyCxShoRT*]

Thanks for having the patience to read it all. And thanks for the feedback. I'm almost done with it.

[alphanumeric]

GIVE ME MM000REE :];]<3 I LAAVED IT

[Anielka]

Eeee! More! It really draws you in. :) Good job with Caleb. The first bit keeps me from hating him.

[xosteffanator]

I have to say it's pretty good =]

[*ranniel*]

pretty good or pretty awesome?