Important information for girls, Boys, school, body, fashion Options

[Paradox of Life]

So I was looking through my magazines and thought a lot of the information was very good and thought I would share it with you all.

Relationships

"I was a phoney-baloney through my time in highschool. It started in seventh grade because I felt like a big pile of nothing. So I pretended to be a 'bad kid' - the most popular type at my new school. I pretended to smoke (but I was asthmatic so I basically just held the thing). I pretended to be into heavy metal (I was all, "Rock on, AC/DC!" even though I really listened to Menudo). I would go on and on about my fake nicotine fits - but I think you get the picture. I'm cringing as I type this. But maybe the humiliating us good for me.
I didn't make any friends that year. After all - come on, how could I? I was going through every day lying to everyone around me. The authentically bad kids saw me as a total poser. And the kids in my honors classes thought I was a bad influence. My attempts at being cool just left me feeling lonely (and in retrospect looking pretty stupid).
I wish I could say I learned my lesson. But instead, it started all over again the next school year - excpet this time I pretended to be a super-wealthy (and let's just say: I wasn't). I spent every penny my parents had on designer clothing and acted snobby. But again, the only person I was tricking was myself. You get the cycle, right? Well, unfortunately it went on and on. Ugh - how exhausting.
Ultimately, you need to embrace your truths. Otherwise you go through life walking in uncomfortable shoes and that can really slow you down. I won't lie - there wasn't one big moment of clarity that suddenly made me authentic. It was a series of mini realizations over time (like losing a friend because I was being fake and not making the cheerleading squad .. again) that made me take baby steps toward who I really am. Weird?? I call it creative!! Overly emotional?? I call it intuitive! Clumsy?? I call it .. clumsy!! And proud of it, sister - luckily I'm not a professional ballerina! So tell me your truths - the things that define who you are on the inside. This can be your first step to living it. And hey, you'll have the whole [year] to practice... You know where I am, 24/7 as always - atoosa@seventeen.com." - Atoosa, Editor of Seventeen Magazine

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Are you dating or just hanging out?

Panel: Brian, Sherman, Tim.

"Ever since prom, this guy and I have hung out every weekend. He's always inviting me places and we've hooked up almost every time we see each other. But is this considered dating?"

Brian says, "If he's choosing to spend all his time with you when he could be with friends or doing other stuff, that's dedication. You're definitely dating."

Sherman says, "Guys won't spend every weekend with a girl unless they're dating her. He's definitely into you, so relax and just see what happens."

Tim says, "Unless he's said he wants you to be his girlfriend, you are not officially dating - even if you're hooking up. Be direct; ask him to be your boyfriend."

"I've been hanging out with this guy for about a month, and he's taken me out a few times. He invites me to everything - even family cookouts. He seems to enjoy my company, but is there more to this than friendship?"

Brian says, "Seems like he just sees you as a friend and wants you around when he's having a good time. If you want more, you'll have to talk to him."

Sherman says, "When a guy's serious about a girl, he'll try to see how she fits in with his friends and family. He's really into you. This isn't just a flirtation."

Tim says, "Pay attention to how your guy introduces you to people. If he tells his uncle you're his friend - then you're friends, nothing more."

"This guy and I have been together on and off for 3 years, but now I'm not sure what's going on. We've had sex more than once, but the only time I see him is after 1 AM on the weekend. What's the deal?"

Brian says, "When you like a girl, you want to be with her all the time, not just in the middle of the night to do the dirty dead. He's just using you."

Sherman says, "After three years of dating, it should be about so much more than sex. He just sees you as a booty call. You deserve more respect than that."

Tim says, "Whoa, if he can only see you after one in the morning, what's he doing the rest of the time? You need to move on. He's not serious about you."

"I've known this guy for 10 years, but we were never really close. Recently, though, he's been asking me to the movies and dinner - and insists on paying. I think he likes me, but he hasn't kissed me. What's going on?"

Brian says, "He's trying to impress you so you'll want to be his girlfriend. If you like him, let things progress naturally. It'll be official soon."

Sherman says, "When you go out with him and let him pay, he thinks you're dating. He figures it's obvious and that he doesn't have to ask you out."

Tim says, "I have a girlfriend, but still, when I go out with girls I'm friends with, I pay for them too. It's like a man's duty. He could just be a nice guy."

--

Seven guys from other countries reveal what they'd like to tell you - plus, what you can tell 'em right back!

Felipe, 20, of Belo Horizonte, Brazil: "Stop using movie stars as role models, and start caring about things like foreign policy and social inequality in your country. You might not be able to change them but having an opinion is a good start."

Kyle, 19, of Newcastle, England: "Please stop overreacting - that gets on my nerves. I see it all the time on Pimp My Ride and American Idol - whenever something half-exciting happens, it's like "Oh, my God!" and all sorts of screaming and crying."

Hans, 20, of Dresden, Germany: "If you meet someone who's interesting, you should get to know then, not just act nice for five minutes. We always make a call later to get to know each other better. But with you, there's no follow-up."

Justice, 23, of Kumansi, Ghana: "Because you start dating so young, you go through lots of cheaters and breakups - and then you don't trust men later on. So think deeply about your past relationships - but know that not all men are the same!"

Alex, 17, of Crete, Greece: "Learn where Greece is! Most of you don't know much geography. If it's not in the US, you act like you don't need to know it. This country has so much history. You should at least know a little philosiphy and the origins of democracy - which started here. This is a great place to be. We send many kisses to you American girls."

Dhaval, 21, of Mumbal, India: "Don't have such a superior attitude about yourselves or look down on Asians. I don't know if it's a first world - versus - third world thing, but once I went with a friend to watch a basketball game in the US and a few girls giggled and made a nasty remark about how they wondered if I had even heard of the game before."

Simon, 19, of Malmo, Sweden: Please stop burping in public! Girls in Sweden don't burp when they're around guys because it's really not attractive. And guys don't do it around girls out of respect. But in America, I've seen good-looking girls have super-loud and nasty burps that made the whole room go quiet - it made me feel like puking! I think it's funny but messed up."

Body

Hair

My hair is broken and dead. How can I make it healthy -- fast?

First things first: Get a trim to remove your dead and split ends. Then, to avoid getting them in the future, shampoo less often (every other day, max) --- overwashing sucks out your hair's natural oils, causing strands to look dull and to break. Also swap conditioner that you use in the shower for a leave-in type, which penetrates deep into your hair shaft to strengthen your strands so they're less likely to snap.

Try: Infusium 23 Leave-In Treatment $6, drugstores

I cut my bangs recently, and I'm not happy. What can I do about them?
Clip them back or blend them into the rest of your hair. Place a flat brush on top of your bangs and brush them from left to right, then right to left as you blast them from above with a blow-dryer (on a low-heat setting) for about one minute. This will make them lie flat and mix naturally with the rest of your hair.

Goody Salon Styler Natural Boar Brush, $6, drugstores

My hair is full in the morning but falls flat after two hours. Help!

Try this styling strategy: First make sure your gel, mousse, pomade or hairspray has an alcohol base - it will hold your style longer. (Oil-based products weigh down hair and can make it look greasy.) Second, when you style your hair in the morning, add more body than you actually want - some of that volume will fall in about 20 minutes, leaving you with a style that looks great. If you redo your style later in the day, use a refreshing spray - it breakss down the bonds in the styling product you original used, so you can restyle and add more lift to your roots.

Clairol Herbal Essences Style Refreshing Mist, $3, drugstores

I dyed my hair and I'm not into it. Can I get rid of the shade at home?

You can - just try this recipe: In a plastic cup or bowl, mix one tablespoon of baking soda with a large dollop of your usual shampoo. Stir together well. Massage the mixture into your strands for five minutes, rinse with warm water, then condition hair as usual and evaluate the color. If the shade hasn't faded enough, repeat the process. Still not happy with how it looks? You'll need a pro's help. Wait four to five days (to avoid drying out your hair), then have your stylist recolor it.

My scalp is always flaky and itchy - the dandruff won't stop! Any suggestions?

For starters what most people think is dandruff is just a normal dry scalp - result of overexposure to UV rays, chlorine, salt water or sweat, which are like drying. But you can fight flakes and soothe itching by shampooing and conditioning with products that contain zinc, an ingredient that normalizes the pH balance of your scalp to help it maintain moisture. If the itching and flaking don't stop after a week, see your dermatologist. You might have dandruff or seborrheic dermatitis - two easy-to-treat conditions, which may require medicated shampoo or cortisone cream.

Body

Do you sweat too much?

You sweat because it's your body's way of cooling off. When body temperature rises above normal (98.6 degrees F) - due to nerves, exercise or heat - glands on your forehead, armpits, palms and feet release a watery, salty fluid. As sweat evaporates, your body temperature lowers and you cool down.

When to see a doctor -

- If you soak through your clothes or your palms sweat when you're not nervous, exercising or hot.

- If over-the-counter (OTC) antiperspirants (don'ot work for you

You could have hyperhidrosis, a condition in which sweat glands overproduce. Below are treatments about the least to most aggressive.

Rx antiperspirant - Prescriptions like Drysol have more sweat blocking aluminum chloride than OTC brands. The solution reduces sweat for most people.

Botox shots - When Botox is injected into the area where sweat occurs, it reduces the output of sweat. It takes a single set of about 15 shots to decrease sweating for 6 months. It could cost more than $1,000, but your insurance may cover it if your diagnosis is hyperhydrosis.

Surgery - There are two procedures done as a last resort: 1) Liposuction is used to scrape out some of the underarm sweat glands. 2) Cutting or clamping the nerves that cause glands to sweat is primarily used for palms (but can make people sweat more in other areas)

School

Surviving your freshman year

Lesson 1 - Building a reputation

Throughout hischool I was known as a total goody-goody, but when I went to college, I got to start fresh! The only things people knew about me came from the classes I took, the clubs I joined, the pictures I put up and what I told them!

But watch out Since you're starting fresh and no one really knows anything about you, first impressions really stick. Like, if you hook up a lot when you first get to school, people will think you're like that all the time. So be sure to act the way you want to be seen.

The summer befre school, you'pll be asked to mail in a picture for the "face book" (a directory of freshmen). Guys at school use this to check out new girls, so send a cute photo. I looked like a psycho in mine and my friends still tease me!

Go to http://facebook.com/



Lesson 2 - Living in a dorm

People hang out in the halls and always leave their doors open, so it's like a permanent slumber party with your best friends - girls and guys!

But watch out Most girls expect to be best friends with their roommate - I did. But we were really different and had totally opposite routines: I studied at night when she wanted to sleep and she read in the morning when I slept late. So we had to compromise and work in the library, where we wouldn't bother each other. You're going to be living in a very small space - so be prepared to make some adjustments.

Problems and Solutions

Problem: You want to change your reputation.

Solution: "I was always known as being shy and quiet around guys, even though I never felt shy. So last year, I made a point to gradually start more conversations with the guys who sat near me in class or during lunch. I'd ask them a question about themselves or even compliment the clothes they were wearing. I just slowly changed the way I acted, so it didn't seem like I was trying too hard - and soon I had all these guy friends!" - Spenser, 15, Albany, GA

Problem: You want to look really good.

Solution: "At the end of the summer, my friends and I buy a bunch of different fashion magazines and lip through them to see what's popular. Then we go on a vintage-clothes shopping spree! We find really cute stuff that's super-cheap. It's an easy way to make sure that we look cool - without having to spend a fortune!" - Amanda, 14, Spokane, WA

Problem: You want to avoid relationship drama.

Solution: "I broke up with my boyfriend over the summer and was dreading running back into him at school. So before the first day of classes, I called him and asked if we could meet up - just to talk. That way, I got the awkwardness of our initial conversation out of the way and could look forward to seeing my ex in the hallwait, instead of worrying about avoiding him - or having a huge fight when everyone was watching." - Daniela, 16, Weston, FL

Problem: You want to feel smart enough.

Solution: "I think about my good grades - not the bad ones - and the honors I've earned. I just go through my achievements in my head and repeat to myself, I"m just as smart as anyone else." Keeping in mind all the great things I've already done helps convince me that I'll measure up." - Julianna, 18, Brooklyn, NY

Problem: You want to fit everything in.

Solution: "I make a list of things I'll be able to control, like doing my homework and the things I won't be able to do anything about, like if I'll get enough votes to be class president. When I focus my attention on what I can change - and don't waste energy on the rest - I actually start accomplishingthings. And as my to-do list gets shorter, I feel less anxious!" - Jennifer, 16, Fairfax, VA

Fashion

Flatter your body

1) If you have a curvy tummy, try high waisted jeans to give your tummy control.
2) If you have a curvy bottom, try a flared boot cut to balance a fuller bottom.
3) If you have a short waist, try low-waisted jeans to lengthen a short torso.
4) If you are very thin, try frayed patches to add shape to a thin frame.
5) If you are long and lean, a straight slim fit will flatter your figure.
6) If you have curvy hips, a contour wash along the hips trims curves.
7) If you have very long legs, a special 37-inch inseam fits long legs.

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Tips on a healthy diet

1) Studies show teens who eat dinner at home with their families have healthier diets. Suggest having family dinners at least 3 days a week and build up to 5. If your family's short on time, have a "breakfast dinner" of scrambled eggs, toast and fruit salad.

2) Eating from larger bags or containers makes you more likely to consume too many calories. Prevent overeating by dividing snacks into single-serving baggies. Snacks should be about 15 chips or 2 regular sized cookies (100-200 calores). Better yet, munch on grapes or mini-carrots..

3) Sodas, juice and sports drinks usually have tons of calories but little nutritional value. Instead, stock up your fridge with fruit-flavored seltzers or water. If you don't like the taste of water, add lemon or cucumber slices to a pitcher of it. Or try Crystal Light on the Go (about $3/10, at grocery stores), sugar-free packets of iced tea and lemonade you mix with a glass of water.

4) Some studies show that you eat mindlessly while watching TV, so you're more likely to overeat. Ask your family to institute a no-TV rule during dinner. Use the time to learn more about one another.

5) You tend to eat more if you're served more and you may overeat if you're required to clean your plate. Ask to serve yourself and take small potions to start. If your family is worried about leftovers, suggest a leftovers night on Firdays where you reheat the week's leftovers and serve them buffet-style.

DIRECTLY COPIED THROUGH TYPING FROM COSMOGIRL AND SEVENTEEN MAGAZINE
Please order a copy or two of these magazines to get more important information. They are very imformative and fun to read for leisure!

[*mzkandi*]

I didnt read over the whole thing but I think its a great girls resource, I'll put in our pinned topic. Kudos Katt!

[coconutter]

Wow, nice!! Another help thing =D

[xourzest]

this should be pinned

[Paradox of Life]

this should be pinned

It's already in the pinned 'Girls Resources' topic.

[IamRad]

awesome tips. those magazines are really fun to read :)

[resrchmnkygrl6]

thx...that stuff looks like it will help A LOT!!! thx for sharing