good rap i made up, no racism, not stupid, and not copied. |
good rap i made up, no racism, not stupid, and not copied. |
*Statistik* |
Apr 5 2005, 07:46 PM
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#1
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yo
your too wack to compete your damn lyrics aint even complete my rap game is neat so go ahead and take a seat watch my show y'all gonna feel me when i feel da flow dont make my minds blow im here to bring hip-hop bigger than fat joe your spits are so slow that make me say whoa your not in my league, your way too below your career is 100% trash my raps are probably quicker than the runnin of steve nash do i make my self clear? dont make me get too high for you, queer this is my year some people hatin on me cuz my raps include racism and dont worry this will be no more plagiarism this is the end of all go ahead sent this to yo friend dont piss me off again or ill start a brawl worse than the pacers and ron artest i hope you dont get too stressed, god ill be blessed |
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*basick* |
Apr 5 2005, 07:48 PM
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#2
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that was horrible
basick as hell and just horrible. try to say it out loud, it has no flow whatsoever. that was f**king grade school poetry... lol... try multi sylabble rhyming... like you said "wack~to~compete" back~to~ya~feet slapped~with~the~heat attack~and~you'll~see etc... see how every syllabble rhymed with its corresponding sylabble?... that makes you rhymes more complex and flow better... |
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Apr 5 2005, 07:52 PM
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#3
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Go on, hug me, I dare you... Group: Member Posts: 299 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 116,809 |
Just cut the:
'dont piss me off again or ill start a brawl' and its alright for a kid. |
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Apr 5 2005, 08:58 PM
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#4
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Take advantage of me. Group: Member Posts: 912 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 43,792 |
O-M-G.
You suck. And I`m not even saying that just because I don`t like oyou...you really do suck. That sounded like something someone would make up as a joke. I say you go back to stealing other peoples lyrics...you won`t sound as doo-doo dumb. |
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Apr 5 2005, 09:00 PM
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#5
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baker o.O Group: Member Posts: 446 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 97,190 |
omg you suck at life <3 you suck out loud you suck so hard ive seen a vacume pick up less dirt
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Apr 5 2005, 09:52 PM
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#6
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 961 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 68,057 |
jc4p says stop trying and just die. oh and you lied it was stupid
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Apr 5 2005, 09:55 PM
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#7
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3,565, you n00bs ain't got nothin' on me. Group: Official Member Posts: 3,761 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,565 |
dude.
good rap? anyway. sounds like a poem more than a rap. there's no flow whatsoever. maybe you should work on rhythm. |
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Apr 5 2005, 10:03 PM
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#8
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Lauren loves YOU. Group: Member Posts: 2,357 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 32,793 |
as previously stated. NO FLOW.
i think it's terrible. too many similes/metaphors/allusions, not enough structure and your word choice isn't that intelligent. it looks like you're trying to be witty and make people go "OOOOOO HE GOT SUUUURVED!!!!" but it's just not working. try writing some normal poetry first. then say it out loud. maybe then you'll get the idea that rhyming lines doesn't constitute work that flows easily. |
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Apr 5 2005, 10:04 PM
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#9
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Holla if ya hate me Group: Member Posts: 2,386 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 80,819 |
Man I am damned serious... why do you even try?!?!
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*wind&fire* |
Apr 5 2005, 10:13 PM
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#10
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i hate you jason.. you know that
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Apr 5 2005, 10:31 PM
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#11
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 961 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 68,057 |
its amazing. each one of histopics turns into a member bash topic. i love this place.
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*wind&fire* |
Apr 5 2005, 10:37 PM
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#12
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^ no he insults people... its not my fault is i have prejiduce
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Apr 5 2005, 11:05 PM
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#13
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 2,172 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 34,045 |
who is this rap directed to ?
"you" ..... wth ?? .. who are you talking to ?? |
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Apr 5 2005, 11:10 PM
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#14
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Take advantage of me. Group: Member Posts: 912 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 43,792 |
^^Probably Basick haha...
I hate you too Jason. Go die. |
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*basick* |
Apr 5 2005, 11:24 PM
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#15
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*mzkandi* |
Apr 5 2005, 11:28 PM
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#16
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*sigh* ok that was bad. i think you need to take a class or something. an after school tutor maybe....
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Apr 5 2005, 11:31 PM
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#17
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*Influential Guitarist & Inspiring Writer* Group: Official Member Posts: 1,216 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 51,134 |
jason jason jason tsk tsk tsk wow lol u remind me of og loc in san andreas lol (just a thought)
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*wind&fire* |
Apr 5 2005, 11:34 PM
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#18
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the only good thing is that you didnt copy it...
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*nightmare4taki* |
Apr 5 2005, 11:34 PM
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#19
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QUOTE(Jason61992 @ Apr 5 2005, 6:46 PM) This line was okay It was not his worst rap, but you still have a lot of work to do. QUOTE(xxcrazyjewxx @ Mar 26 2005, 2:12 PM) hopefully jason has the common sense not rap, no NOT TO POST ever again in CB LOL, you were wrong. |
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Apr 6 2005, 12:04 AM
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#20
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 2,172 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 34,045 |
^i'll show you what line was okay
QUOTE umm .. yea .. none .. |
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Apr 6 2005, 03:04 AM
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#21
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Yawn Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 9,530 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 65,772 |
you know what jason...i'm going to give you props because even tho everyone is hatin on you all the time on CB you still stick around and post up ur raps and all and express urself. It doesn't matter really how good you are at writing or whatever, it takes alot to express urself and to post it up so everyone can read and all, even tho you get trash on it. lol nice title too, "good rap i made up, not racist, not stupid, not copied" lol. yikes..here was the best part of ur rap,
"some people hatin on me cuz my raps include racism and dont worry this will be no more plagiarism" You shouldn't let people step on you so much here. |
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Apr 6 2005, 03:09 AM
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#22
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wanderlust personified. Group: Official Designer Posts: 7,515 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 797 |
wow, you're just as good as your idol, 50 cent. VERY elementary. but at least 50 could flow.
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Apr 6 2005, 03:32 AM
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#23
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Senior Member Group: Posts: 8,274 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 8,001 |
Wow you must be one of cB's best rapper out there. HAHAHA.
The last part of the lyrics doesnt fit. |
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Apr 6 2005, 03:38 AM
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#24
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hello : ) Group: Official Member Posts: 4,227 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 13,139 |
Man...people are just bashing on you. I wholeheartedly agree with everything KissMe2408 said. Anyways, a lot of it didn't make sense because it seemed like you focused more on making sure it rhymed than anything else. Like some of it doesn't agree, for example, when you said "make my minds blow". You have multiple minds? Maybe it was just a typo, who knows? And yeah, there is no flow whatsoever. It looks like you stuck random words and lines together and tried to make sure they rhymed. At least you didn't copy it this time.
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Apr 6 2005, 09:31 AM
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#25
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*Influential Guitarist & Inspiring Writer* Group: Official Member Posts: 1,216 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 51,134 |
QUOTE(KissMe2408 @ Apr 6 2005, 12:04 AM) you know what jason...i'm going to give you props because even tho everyone is hatin on you all the time on CB you still stick around and post up ur raps and all and express urself. It doesn't matter really how good you are at writing or whatever, it takes alot to express urself and to post it up so everyone can read and all, even tho you get trash on it. lol nice title too, "good rap i made up, not racist, not stupid, not copied" lol. yikes..here was the best part of ur rap,
"some people hatin on me cuz my raps include racism and dont worry this will be no more plagiarism" You shouldn't let people step on you so much here. |
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