Letter To My Baby |
 Aug 23 2005, 03:07 AM
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#1
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 Shove it  Group: Member Posts: 496 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 91,641  |
I miss you so much and I cannot imagine what life would be like if you were still here with me today. I know that for your short life you were a fighter. You were strong, but you were in pain. It killed me to see your tiny body with all those wires and monitors on it and every time that one of the alarms went off, I would get so scared that this could be our last minute together. When you peacefully passed away in your sleep, I convinced myself that it wasn't real. At your funeral, it hit me--- hard. And I lost it. I was and am a mother and, while I was nowhere near ready to be somebody's mom, I was never prepared to lose a child.
I want to thank you. Even though I couldn't save you, you saved me. You turned my life around, starting from the minute I knew you were coming. I had to change my lifestyle and pull myself out of the black hole I was living in because I knew that you couldn't survive in that type of atmosphere. Even though I didn't want to, I had to stop drinking and abusing OTCs. I gave it up for you but now I realize, it was for me too. You made my parents keep a better eye on me and you made me get into trouble--- a LOT of trouble. I got help and because of you, I have a much better relationship with some of the most important people in my life. If you had never come along, I don't know where I would be in my life right now. A long time from now, when I have more children, I will always think of you and how life would be so different if you were still here. You will always be my first born baby. I know I will eventually see you again in Heaven but for now know that mommy loves you, Brooklyn. Mommy will always love you. And please keep your great grandpa company for me. He always wanted a little girl named Brooklyn Delaney but he got two sons instead.  Love Always, Mommy Brooklyn Delaney Keegan March 1, 2005 - March 10, 2005 R.I.P |
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Aug 23 2005, 01:49 PM
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#2
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 ^-^ Group: Member Posts: 1,676 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 107,668 |
Awwww, that is so sweet.
 I'm so glad you stopped drinking and have a better life now, but I'm so so sad you had to lose your baby. 
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Aug 23 2005, 03:22 PM
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#3
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s w e e t e s t Group: Member Posts: 808 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 46,149 |
Awww.. I'm really sorry to hear about your baby. But I'm really glad that you eventually turned away from the bad side of the world and actually look towards the good side. It's pretty hard for people who has been drinking. And eventually you quit it, and I hope it won't become an addict to you anymore. Although it's awfully sad about your daughter, I hope you will eventually forget about the sad past. But don't forget about what your daughter has done to you.
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Aug 23 2005, 04:14 PM
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#4
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 Senior Member Group: Posts: 8,274 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 8,001 |
=] Thats a good impact in your life.
By the way .. what do you mean by "atmosphere " ? I'm thinking of a room clog with cig. scent. |
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Aug 23 2005, 04:19 PM
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#5
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 1,098 Joined: May 2005 Member No: 143,687 |
I am soo sorry for your loss, I couldnt imagine the feeling of loosing a child, but I know that your baby will watch over and I think that in a way he was sent to you like an angel to protect you and to change your ways.. Im so happy that your in a much better place then you were before and I hope that your angel blesses you again with another child and youll live a long and happy life =D
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Aug 23 2005, 06:25 PM
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#6
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Shove it Group: Member Posts: 496 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 91,641 |
QUOTE(aznxboredxperson @ Aug 23 2005, 3:14 PM) =] Thats a good impact in your life. By the way .. what do you mean by "atmosphere " ? I'm thinking of a room clog with cig. scent.  I just meant the tension and the verbally abusive relationship I had with her father. |
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Aug 23 2005, 06:30 PM
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#7
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 oh what a burden , its mr durden ! Group: Member Posts: 494 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 66,002 |
that is so sad.
i'm so sorry for your loss i'm sure its horrid but you faced it head on i assume you changed all your bad ways for that little girl so feel a sense of mind that shes no longer in pain and that theres always someone watching you and she had a beautiful name by the way . |
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Aug 23 2005, 07:01 PM
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#8
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 Quand j'étais jeune... Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 6,826 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 1,272 |
beautiful name for a beautiful soul.
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Aug 23 2005, 07:10 PM
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#9
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 All I want for Christmas is an Underground Band. Group: Member Posts: 1,046 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 4,797 |
I'm terribly sorry for your loss.
You would have made a great mother. |
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Aug 23 2005, 07:14 PM
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#10
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 PHIL ˝ Group: Member Posts: 2,663 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 6,982 |
awwwwww. thats so sweet. im sad now ........ it doesnt happen to me often...you have touched me. im so sorry for you loss. -Phil- |
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| *xcaitlinx* |
Aug 23 2005, 07:42 PM
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#11
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Guest |
im very sorry for your loss. this is a touching story and im sorry that you had to go through that.
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Aug 23 2005, 10:20 PM
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#12
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GD. <3 Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 1,222 Joined: Aug 2005 Member No: 198,566 |
oh god. hilary. *hug* i didn't know since i haven't talked to you in a while. i can't even imagine what that was like. i'm so sorry. :\\
-- agiri |
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Aug 23 2005, 11:28 PM
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#13
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 peggy's here. Group: Member Posts: 239 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 30,603 |
I am really, really sorry about what happened.
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Aug 23 2005, 11:55 PM
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#14
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 hi. call me linda. Group: Official Member Posts: 8,187 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,475 |
Wow... I'm so sorry about what happened. I'm glad you were able to quit drinking and all, but I'm sad about what happened to your baby.
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| *jeanna* |
Aug 24 2005, 09:44 AM
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#15
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Guest |
 too bad that you had to have someone die to realize you needed to stop. yes, i am cold-hearted.how old are you anyways? |
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Aug 24 2005, 01:23 PM
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#16
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 134 Joined: Jun 2005 Member No: 151,568 |
i`m truly sorry about your loss. it sucks that you went through so much but i`m happy that you`ve stopped drinking..
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Aug 24 2005, 01:30 PM
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#17
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 Don't worry guys, size doesn't matter...to lesbians Group: Member Posts: 2,444 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 85,066 |
aww that was sweet. i can't imagine your pain. I can't even know a hint of imagination from it. But it is really assuring that instead of being a cold hearted mother you were a caring one (like most) and very loving. I am sure your child had a happy life even though it was only a few days. It's very inspiring, the changes you went through for the little form of life you mothered.
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Aug 24 2005, 02:04 PM
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#18
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 unify and defeat... divide and crumble Group: Member Posts: 2,759 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 6,379 |
I'm so sorry, losing a child seems like a pain I could never even imagine. Its nice to know that even though something this unfortunate happend, your life became better in some way because of it. What doesn't kill us will only make us stronger.
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Aug 24 2005, 04:09 PM
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#19
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 I love you more than sex appeal. Group: Member Posts: 3,045 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 52,932 |
Aww...that is so sad. I'm sorry about what happen. I hope your ok.
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| *Azarel* |
Aug 24 2005, 04:17 PM
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#20
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Guest |
QUOTE(jeanna @ Aug 24 2005, 7:44 AM) too bad that you had to have someone die to realize you needed to stop. yes, i am cold-hearted. In any case, Hilary, I never did hear what happened until I read this, and I can't even begin to imagine how it all felt.. Beautifully written, your heart shines through in your letter.  
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| *Tainted Euphoria* |
Aug 24 2005, 05:10 PM
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#21
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Guest |
This is such a beautiful display of the love you feel for your baby girl. Yes, even though her body is in slumber, her memory, her spirit, I know you'll keep it alive.
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Aug 24 2005, 09:09 PM
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#22
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 52 Joined: Aug 2005 Member No: 213,207 |
THAT IS SO SWEET
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Aug 24 2005, 09:16 PM
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#23
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 My name's Katt. Nice to meet you! Group: Member Posts: 3,826 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 93,674 |
Yeah. That was really sweet and sad. You could've posted it in here though..
http://www.createblog.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=97735 I'm so sorry about your child.
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Aug 24 2005, 11:06 PM
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#24
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 i've never wanted anything rationale. Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 8,449 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 19,045 |
QUOTE(jeanna @ Aug 24 2005, 7:44 AM) too bad that you had to have someone die to realize you needed to stop. yes, i am cold-hearted. Hey, IDK if you can f**kin read but try this out: QUOTE(Heewee @ Aug 23 2005, 1:07 AM) I want to thank you. Even though I couldn't save you, you saved me. You turned my life around, starting from the minute I knew you were coming. I had to change my lifestyle and pull myself out of the black hole I was living in because I knew that you couldn't survive in that type of atmosphere. YEAH THAT MEANT IT WAS BEFORE SHE HAD THE CHILD. I wish you would go away. Not only do you have NO right to say anything like that, you weren't even correct. f**k, if you are going to be "coldhearted", at least know you are right. If you could go now, that would be lovely, whore. Anyways, I am soo sorry for your loss. You are extremely strong and I am glad that you are changing your life around. |
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Aug 25 2005, 12:07 AM
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#25
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 wanderlust personified. Group: Official Designer Posts: 7,515 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 797 |
Hilary, I'm very sorry to hear about your loss but I'm glad that the pregnancy helped you to turn your life around. Stay strong.
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