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Blyat
So this is the picture so far, I would love some light critique so I can improve (Ex Colouring, drawing, etc)






Thanks. happy.gif
Blyat
QUOTE(A1Bassline @ Jul 9 2009, 11:33 PM) *
The necks are a bit long and the jaw looks weird to me. But everything else looks good. thumbsup.gif


Thanks :D
That helps a lot
Shelby-Zu
i completely agree, neck looks a bit long.
but as already stated, the rest looks great!!

shading maybe? x
Maccabee
I really love these! Nothing I can say! It doesnt look like you are trying to resemble humans, its just a different style! Keep going and show us the finished product!
datass
ooo nice coloring. something about her nose and chin irks me. i think its the position or structure.
Blyat
JCP: Thanks :)

Doughnut: Yeah your right the nose is irking me now, The chin is thankfully easy to fix
Thank you love :)
schizo
I actually think the long neck looks okay on the left one, it's just the right one that looks a bit abnormal. The thing that bothers me if the position of the mouth. It looks like there is too much face to the right of it.

Other than that, I think it looks fantastic. The coloring especially looks great so far.
karmakiller
I really like the coloring. I don't mind the long necks, but the jaw does look strange.
Joanne
The longer necks look totally fine to me. What's bugging me are the eyes; they look like they're looking in different directions.
Blyat
QUOTE(Joanne @ Jul 10 2009, 12:44 AM) *
The longer necks look totally fine to me. What's bugging me are the eyes; they look like they're looking in different directions.


Yeah I thought the same thing too :T
manny-the-dino
QUOTE(schizo @ Jul 9 2009, 09:07 PM) *
I actually think the long neck looks okay on the left one, it's just the right one that looks a bit abnormal.

Yeah I agree. The nose on the one on the left is too pointy for my liking but it looks like you were going for a more cartoon feel so it works.

QUOTE(Joanne @ Jul 9 2009, 09:44 PM) *
What's bugging me are the eyes; they look like they're looking in different directions.

Now that I look at them, I see what Joanne means.


But honestly Stef, this isn't that bad. It's really good actually. It's just little details you need to clean up. Looks nice :)
Joanne
Yeah, what Natalia said. The style's really nice, and I love the colouring.
Blyat
Oh and yes its more stylism than realism



Thanky you manny :) and Joanne :)


Thankfully all the details you guys are telling me are easily fixed
and when I posted this I definetly noticed the eyes too

Hopefully I can complete this tonite and ill post the finishing look

And im glad you guys like the colouring, I was trying a new technique and i was afraid this would look splitchy
Mickey
You drew this? Damn, thought it was digital. I agree with Joanne about the eyes. She looks a bit cross-eyed. I agree with Gabi about the mouth, as well. Maybe a little closer to the nose? Anyway, the colouring looks ridiculously incredible. I can't wait for the finished version.
Blyat
QUOTE(Mike @ Jul 10 2009, 12:08 PM) *
You drew this? Damn, thought it was digital. I agree with Joanne about the eyes. She looks a bit cross-eyed. I agree with Gabi about the mouth, as well. Maybe a little closer to the nose? Anyway, the colouring looks ridiculously incredible. I can't wait for the finished version.

Thank you mike ^__^
adolelolz
I think the mouth is too low on the face, and it extends too far to the left. But other than that, it's great :D
YourSuperior
I personally like the drawing, but the only thing that really bothers me is the chin
Blyat
Ok So i Went back and fixed it up

HOPEFULLY you guys can see the difference, The red arrows are the areas fixed

Now I did the best i could with the eyes, the was the most tricky area to re-fix
and the right neck just ignore because clothing is going to covour that area


Before


After


Able to see a difference?












If there is anything else you think is still iffy tell me
But overall thanks so much for the Critique so-far It looks A LOT better <3
-DressYourEyelids-
i like the changes. the overall drawing flows much better :D
synapse
The chin, nose, and the left cheek (in our perspective) they have pink then white levels.. looks like pimples.
Mickey
That's a massive improvement. The right eye (her left) could use one more pixel of movement to the left (her right) because she's still a bit cross-eyed. The hand on the redhead's neck is huge compared to the girl's head. Other than that, really good work. Keep it up. thumbsup.gif
Blyat
sweet Im glad you guys like it better


QUOTE(tcunningham @ Jul 19 2009, 01:28 PM) *
The chin, nose, and the left cheek (in our perspective) they have pink then white levels.. looks like pimples.


ok, Got most fixed, Im not really going to realism so I kindof made the skin like that on purpose.

QUOTE(Mike @ Jul 19 2009, 01:30 PM) *
That's a massive improvement. The right eye (her left) could use one more pixel of movement to the left (her right) because she's still a bit cross-eyed. The hand on the redhead's neck is huge compared to the girl's head. Other than that, really good work. Keep it up. thumbsup.gif


Yeah, Im fixing that up right now, and Yeah Im not going for realism, so The hand is purposly like that (though I do agree it could be smaller)
But im really glad you like it

Oh, and I dont know if you knew this or not, but they are actually two boys :3 (not suppose to be gay though)
Hope that doesm't Irk anyone >__<
Mickey
twitch.gif
manny-the-dino
Wow it looks a lot better. Nice job, Stef!
Blyat
QUOTE(manny-the-dino @ Jul 19 2009, 07:01 PM) *
Wow it looks a lot better. Nice job, Stef!


Thanks Nat = 3=
Joanne
.... they're guys?
Blyat
QUOTE(Joanne @ Jul 20 2009, 04:20 AM) *
.... they're guys?


lol yeah, I was getting this Idea from a group of art friends on Deviant-Art :3
AncientWhisper
Ohh, lovely to see an anime/manga artist here. :3

I think you need to work on your anatomy a bit more. What bothered me most was the chin and how flat the face looked. :< The necks are still a bit too long in the sense that it looks like they're missing that muscle between the neck and the shoulders; the neck should be less straight down on both characters. (sorry I don't know anatomy when it comes to terminology). But if it's your style, there's no to need to fix if you don't want to. x]

Otherwise, I see great potential. I love the pastel-type coloring style you have and the artstyle overall. It has a soft appealing to it and the people have nice slender features. thumbsup.gif Wonderful job!
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