Hey you guys..

I guess I need a little advice..
See.. my ex, my first love.. we went out for almost 2 years. And we had a bad break up over a year ago. It was due to "lost, fading love" since we're long distance.. but obviously it was because another girl was involved. My ex-bf used to treat me like I was his entire world; he loved me like no other.. I was heartbroken when he left me for someone else, because he had changed so much. And I guess after being with her, he began to morph into someone new.. the "jerk" or the "cheater".. sigh.. afterwards their relationship ended because he cheated that girl as well.. ever since.. we haven't talked.. for over a year..

I did so many things for him, stupidly and blindly. Just because I didn't want to lose him. I snuck out to see him, but he left me waiting outside his house and didn't even see me.

Now lately, he's been coming back to me. It started one night where I was having family issues, and I didn't have no one to turn to.. so he comforted me, and we got really close again because I told him my feelings. He made me so vulnerable to everything, yet I still confided in him. I never really took notice of how close we were becoming, because like I said, I have 0 trust for a guy like him.. but I miss him.. and now he's been coming to hang out with me and stuff.. and he did stuff on my birthday that almost made me cry.. happily. He's just a sweet guy, but he's not the same anymore. Not the guy I used to love, but nonetheless I still love him.. I can't deny it. Well anyways, today we were together. And I thought our relationship was just an "Okay, we finally both moved on and can be friends now" but apparently not. He held my hand and we laid there for an hour with him holding me in his arms.. Our faces were touching, and we almost kissed.

I don't know what to do anymore. I think I'm being used, because he's not the same, but I really love him... I tell myself maybe he changed for the better, but deep inside, all the hurt he caused me has only labeled him as selfish. I really want my old boyfriend back.. that's the reason I keep giving in to him.

I might sound weak, but I really haven't done anything to show I'm weak. I'm trying to ignore him, and I'm trying to just be happy and enjoy my life. Sigh.. Idk.. what do you guys think of my situation? And what do you think of him.. I don't even know why I wrote this. I know better than anyone else that he's not worth my time.

Why get back with someone that hurt you hella times and cheated on you? I guess its harder for you to let him go because he's your first love...spend time part...

most long distance relationships don't work. and if he doesn't want or love you, he isn't going to. might as well just get over him, the sooner the better, and the less painful.

ive been there, done that before with my last ex...
pretty much i came to the conclusion that...

if he wanted to get back with you and still have feelings for you
he wouldve done it already.
because really, youre just wasting your time with him.

you must not like yourself much. stop allowing yourself to be treated like shit.

You basically still have feelings for him because he WAS your first love
No matter what, your first love will always be part of you because of everything you went through that that person.
But if your feel used with him, then there is no point to go out with him, it'll be more stressful than fun and he could possibly cheat again.
You have to follow your mind and not your heart on these situations

I just needed to thank everyone for the comments. I really appreciate it. I guess I know myself that I'm being used and will get hurt. I just needed people to tell me the cold hard truth and wake me up, you know?

And I've been well. Ignoring him =] It's okay. I can make it through. He hurt me to a point where he cannot be forgiven, although I love him. And although I forgive easily.