My throat tightens as I feel the truth coming on. Almost as if some one had their hands around my neck. I don’t know how else to say it. I cant find myself. The water I peer into I cant see my reflection because my mind is as foggy and vague as the water before me. What am I looking for? Is it me? In my mind I can picture what I want to see. But when the truth comes around, will it be what I imaged in my mind. So many times I have wanted to change for the wrong reasons, never once have I change for what I want. But what do want? Am I sure that’s what I want and not what everyone else wants me to be. Why is it so hard to just be me? Im choking on my own words, why cant I just spit it out. I want to be me without a doubt. I know what I like and I know how I want to feel, its defiantly not this. I feel the urge just to break out, when I see someone I wish I could be. I want to be in their shoes not mine. The shoes I wear are faded and destroyed. Just like my feelings. I can feel my heart stop and skip a beat when something doesn’t go my way. Sometimes there’s nothing left by the end of every dreadful day. But still I am as lost as a feather at sea. When will I find the real me?