And how do you see me?

Perfection at ever turn?
Ecstacy that you yearn?
Refinement and style?
Fraction of a happy smile?
Expectations gone awry?
Congeniality, and lots of lies?
Thought my thoughts you could see?

Losing myself in your gullible eyes.
Outstanding that you believe my cries.
Very true it is that I have sinned.
Even though I'll move on much like the wind.

Longing I am just to say,
As long as you live, you will pay.
Silent as an old church mouse.
Thrusting out the daring jousts
Smiling like life is fare

Fare is for the weak with care.
Originality I'll give you that.
Respect is something I do lack.
Even though I am perfection.
Varying past my reflection.
Ending this with many rhymes.
Rotten is to love as spent is to dimes.

It's not bad, although I get the feeling that you just placed the words there whether they made sense or not.

"And how do you see me?

Perfection at ever turn?
Ecstacy that you yearn?
Refinement and style?
Fraction of a happy smile?
Expectations gone awry?
Congeniality, and lots of lies?
Thought my thoughts you could see?"

- not that - that flowed well.

For instance:

"Fare is for the weak with care.
Originality I'll give you that."

How does this relate to the theme?

You can work on it a little, but it's a good start overall.

"And how do you see me?"

"Thought my thoughts you could see?"

Rhymed.

"Smiling like life is fare

Fare is for the weak with care.
Originality I'll give you that."

Originality for the fact that the person the poem is aimed to thinks love is perfect.

I see, but don't just write it there because it rhymes. Better yet, don't rhyme.. it'll give it more freedom. And the first example you gave doesn't rhyme by the way..

Also, a lot of people think love is perfect.. I wouldn't choose originality as the word to describe it.

But it's not bad.

Just so you know. i really do appreciate your comments. All my friends ever say is "that's awesome!" or something along the lines.
Thank you.