argg, am i supposed to trust him... Options

[allboutme2987]

so last night, i was talking to one of my pretty good friends and he admitted to me that he's liked me since 6th grade [i'm a freshman now]. apparently, he never admitted/showed it to me because we're more...best friend like, but now we're going to different schools so he wants to tell me. i used to like him and i would still go out with him. perfect situation, right? wrong. he's one of the school's biggest players and i don't know if i should believe him when he says that he wants to go out because 1. he still has a girlfriend [he doesn't like her, and hes gonna break up with her] 2. the beginning of our conversation started as him saying, "let's hook up."

he's a really great guy, and he wouldn't lie to me...but i just don't know if i trust him on this. should i?

[*MyMichelle*]

I think that you should just stay friends... considering you already know he has a rep for being a player AND a girlfriend, he just doesn't sound like someone to trust as a boyfriend. Maybe it's safer to be simply a friend. :]

But of course, if you feel that you really want to pursue this relationship, the choice is always yours. Just be careful.

[towntown2]

"Let's hook up" is no way to start a relationship.
Just stay friends.

[allboutme2987]

well its not that he just completely wanted me to hook up with him, he first explained to me how bad of a boyfriend he was [this was before he told me hes liked me] and i was just like i'm sure your not...and he was like well you've never gone out with me. and i'm like yeah, because you were never interested in me. and he was like well, i think we should hook up...just to try it. and i was like uh, haha you know i wouldn't do that. so then he was like yeah, i know, but you would never be interested in me enough to go out with me. and i was like how do you know? its not like you've ever asked me out...so he's like yeah, but i've always wanted to.

[KayleighKins]

"Let's hook up" is no way to start a relationship.
Just stay friends.

Welp, if your guy talks like this, it's probably up to you to interpret it. My guy friend always skirts around dating issues by using harsher language than he means, but he's a huge softy and you just have to beat him with gooshy emotion until he opens up.

[towntown2]

well its not that he just completely wanted me to hook up with him, he first explained to me how bad of a boyfriend he was [this was before he told me hes liked me] and i was just like i'm sure your not...and he was like well you've never gone out with me. and i'm like yeah, because you were never interested in me. and he was like well, i think we should hook up...just to try it. and i was like uh, haha you know i wouldn't do that. so then he was like yeah, i know, but you would never be interested in me enough to go out with me. and i was like how do you know? its not like you've ever asked me out...so he's like yeah, but i've always wanted to.

Well, now that you've said more..

Most of the time, when good friends start to like each other or start to date, things go awry and the friendship is lost. I've had that happen to me way too many times. I've learned my lesson. It hurts.

How important is the friendship to you? Are you willing to take that risk? What happens if you two [i]do[i] decide to date and then break up? Will the both of you be able to move on and stay friends?
Consider the risks first.

[allboutme2987]

Well, now that you've said more..

Most of the time, when good friends start to like each other or start to date, things go awry and the friendship is lost. I've had that happen to me way too many times. I've learned my lesson. It hurts.

How important is the friendship to you? Are you willing to take that risk? What happens if you two [i]do[i] decide to date and then break up? Will the both of you be able to move on and stay friends?
Consider the risks first.

i think our friendship is going to drift apart anyways, because next year i won't see him at all unless we make it a point to hang out.

[PINKLollyPOP]

he doesn't sound trustworthy to me.
so if you have an idea it won't work.
it's not worth losing the friendship over.
right?

[allboutme2987]

true, but since our friendship is on the verge of dying,
maybe going out with prolong it?

but, i don't want to get hurt in the process, incase i fall deeply in love with him...

[Beunique]

um if he's told u all his faults then why would u go for him? is he stupid?

[sugalove1215]

um if he's told u all his faults then why would u go for him? is he stupid?

because then she knows what to expect once they start going out? or maybe to show that he would never lie to her...? beats me

[S-Majere]

Wait a moment and think this through.

His idea of wooing you was 'let's hook up' - as though he hasn't really got anything better to do AND he still has a girlfriend.

Regardless of whether he has a reputation as a player or no - this guy is bad news just from those two confessions.

Stay friends. If he's going to break up with his current girlfriend then don't be the rebound.

[towntown2]

true, but since our friendship is on the verge of dying,
maybe going out with prolong it?

but, i don't want to get hurt in the process, incase i fall deeply in love with him...

So by going out with him you'll just prolong the dying process?
At the risk of sounding condescending, how smart of a move do you think that is?

[Castaway]

you risk getting your heart broken in any relationship.

so is he worth the risk? we can't really tell you if you should or shouldn't hook up with him because we don't know him. we can only tell you what we think based on what you're telling us.


based on the information you've given us so far.. i don't know if you should or shouldn't. sorry =] but keep the stuff i wrote above in mind.

[tr1pp1n]

DONT trust him. shit i dont even trust myself

[*Moderator*]

I don't think its a good idea. Alright; so let's analyze everything you said about him:

he's one of the school's biggest players

Bad idea.

1. he still has a girlfriend [he doesn't like her, and hes gonna break up with her]

Right after he breaks up with his girlfriend, he's looking for a hook up. Who says he can't do the same with you guys?

2. the beginning of our conversation started as him saying, "let's hook up."

I'm not sure you guys are on the same page with "hook up".

[allboutme2987]

well, by player, i mean he can get any girl he wants, and once he does, they do stuff. but he's never cheated or used a girl before, and typically, he doesn't "hook-up"

[EmoEyelinerx]

he's one of the school's biggest players

Very bad idea.

1. he still has a girlfriend [he doesn't like her, and hes gonna break up with her]

Sounds like he just wants to use you so when he breaks up with his gf he will still have someone to date.

2. the beginning of our conversation started as him saying, "let's hook up."

Thats a major alarm to me. If he started the conversation saying lets hook up sounds to me like he wants to date you for the "goods".

[blacknailpolish]

well, by player, i mean he can get any girl he wants, and once he does, they do stuff. but he's never cheated or used a girl before, and typically, he doesn't "hook-up"

Ok, so I am going to assume that he is a decent guy, but you just made him sound worse than he is with poor word choice. It's a mistake we all make...moving on.

As everyone has said, you just have to think about this. How good of a guy friend is he to you? Is his friendship worth risking. And (something new to consider), do you like enough to jeopardize what you have for a relationship? From how you put it, it doesn't really sound like you really like him, you're just willing to go out with him because he asked you out. You say you USED to like him and you would go out with him...hmmmmm...

That could also be poor word choice, but these are all things you just need to think about when you get yourself into this.

[courtn3y]

If he's a player, then dont.

[1angel3]

Give him a chance BUT be cautious. Take it slow.