Brainstorming I guess, For some girl |
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 Jan 17 2010, 08:47 PM
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#1
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 CheccMate Foo!  Group: Member Posts: 839 Joined: Dec 2006 Member No: 487,531  |
This girl is so benevolent
It should be considered a fault But her spirit is so kickass It can save me just like a wonderwall I guess that's her alter ego But only if you ask me though Because the hardest part of it is keeping it cool you know Whenever our eyes meet It's like our two worlds collide Trying not to lose myself Force myself to live a lie The thought of being with her is almost out of this world, see She's the girl of my dreams So of course she's out of my league My friends tell me stick to what you know f*ck that, What the hell do they know I'm a romantic, hopeless as it may be Always taking that million in one shot Another Romeo who strives for Juliet who also loves talking about what she got Is there more to this ill-fated love than just being there to always make her smile Or being the one to make her night I wanna be the knight that makes her life Cuzz it's so special how she makes the air around me so hard to breathe And even though she's so far away Her heart's so close to make me believe Okay Okay I know it's not there yet but I just made it up. I'll be back to make it better. But in the meantime, what do you think about it? |
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Jan 21 2010, 04:58 AM
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#2
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*Influential Guitarist & Inspiring Writer* Group: Official Member Posts: 1,216 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 51,134 |
some lines were good some lines should be canned but since it is not done yet, post back with your completed one if you've finished already.
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Jan 23 2010, 01:00 AM
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#3
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Eternal Syn Group: Member Posts: 398 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 24,000 |
Not bad, but I agree with ^^. And isn't it "one in a million" not "million in one?"
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Feb 10 2010, 06:06 PM
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#4
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CheccMate Foo! Group: Member Posts: 839 Joined: Dec 2006 Member No: 487,531 |
Hmmm. I guess this is my second draft. Still don't feel like it's finished. Tell me what you think.
This girl is so benevolent It should be considered a fault But her spirit's so tenacious It saves you like a wonderwall Her role and her alter ego Saves you in every way you know Though her clever wit keeps me in check Play a poker face thats cool, no? Just riding the flow Trying not to lose it Love & getting to know you Try and not to confuse it Cuz the thought alone not knowing you Is an abomination of this world Like the thought of being with you Too much, it's out of this world I can hardly believe it I can hardly be breathing I'm living out my wildest dreams And your the girl that I'm seeing Heroine of the setting, Our two worlds meet A dependent independent, She's out of my league Till reality explodes back on the scene The movies over, Sad relief Nothing but credits on the screen The lucid, vivid, hopeless dreams A hopeless romantic strives to live Better than to have not loved at all I did it for love with Romeo's will |
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