funny quotes, post your own too |
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funny quotes, post your own too |
Aug 1 2004, 01:55 PM
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#1
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dripping destruction Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 7,282 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 21,929 |
whoever said papercuts are the worst has never been given a razor to play with.
build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. light a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. got any more? |
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Aug 2 2004, 04:01 PM
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#2
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 116 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 2,034 |
heres a few:
Every teenager should get a high school education. Even if they already know everything." Marriage is like taking a hot bath. After you've been in it for a while...it isn't so hot. "I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and think, 'Well, that's not going to happen." "If you're playing a poker game and you look around the table and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you." Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. "The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going." "According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a women are their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars." Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again. Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents? In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal. "Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first." How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an appointment, and he says, "I wish you'd come to me sooner." |
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Aug 3 2004, 01:18 AM
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#3
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 2,172 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 34,045 |
survey says that 4 out of 5 doctors think tha 5th doctor should chill out
from whose line is it anyway... i think i got it wrong someone correct me if i did |
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Aug 3 2004, 01:27 AM
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#4
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 646 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 30,847 |
the number one cause of divorce is marriage
lalalalala - i can't see you!!!! |
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Aug 28 2004, 04:23 PM
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#5
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sarcasm hides what you really feel Group: Member Posts: 550 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 37,105 |
never paly leap frog with a unicorn, if at first you dont succeed then skydiving is not for you,eagles may be smart but weasels dont get sucked into jet engines
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Aug 28 2004, 09:56 PM
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Hi! I'm Dani :) Group: Member Posts: 5,637 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,369 |
heres some:
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright. There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count. Which of the three are you? |
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Aug 28 2004, 10:59 PM
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#7
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ohBrian Group: Member Posts: 556 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 44,625 |
help the man to catch a fish, you feed him for a day
teach a man how to fish, you feed him forever |
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Aug 30 2004, 03:02 AM
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#8
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 2,172 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 34,045 |
QUOTE(ohBrian @ Aug 28 2004, 7:59 PM) help the man to catch a fish, you feed him for a day teach a man how to fish, you feed him forever i like that one, good lesson. but if you put that in a different situation... help the old lady across the street, she gets across faster teach an old lady across the street. = ???? eh.. i'm bored.. just thought about it. "i hate people that quote themselves" - me |
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Aug 30 2004, 04:28 AM
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#9
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 2,541 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 44,332 |
QUOTE If anything goes wrong at work, blame the guy that can't speak English - Homer SimpsonQUOTE Nobody dies as a virgin...'cause life screws us all Oh god I hope that was PG-13
This post has been edited by WhiteLotus*: Aug 30 2004, 04:29 AM |
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Aug 30 2004, 09:03 AM
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#10
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. Group: Member Posts: 1,488 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,625 |
"Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't."
"Dyslexics of the world, untie!" I have a few others, I'll be back to edit this post. |
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Aug 30 2004, 10:20 AM
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#11
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 137 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 43,438 |
cant think of any
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Aug 31 2004, 03:51 PM
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#12
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 88 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 5,472 |
when life gives u lemons bust out the tequila and salt and party!!!
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*CrackedRearView* |
Aug 31 2004, 06:34 PM
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Guest |
Confucious say: "Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok."
300 posts -- yippee. |
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Aug 31 2004, 06:53 PM
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#14
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Dark Lord of McCandless Group: Member Posts: 2,226 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,761 |
"Behind every successful man is a surprised mother-in-law."
--Hubert Humphrey |
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Aug 31 2004, 06:59 PM
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#15
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Day's Nearly Over Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 4,553 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 45,183 |
"Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you - very homosexually. " - Peter Griffin from Family Guy.
"Ok, ok. I've got it, I've got it. If you cooked any more slowly, you wouldn't need an egg timer. You'd need an egg calender. Ah ha ha ha. Oh, that's right. I went there. " - Stewie Griffin |
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Aug 31 2004, 08:02 PM
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#16
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smiling hurts Group: Member Posts: 480 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 22,630 |
"Never take advice from somebody else" -- somebody else (my siggy)
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Sep 20 2004, 11:37 PM
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shut up when im sleepin...... Group: Member Posts: 46 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 4,102 |
being pissed off is better than to be pissed on
joy is like peeing in your pants, only you can feel the warmth haha.. piss jokes |
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Sep 20 2004, 11:53 PM
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#18
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The voices talk too much... -.-u Group: Member Posts: 2,099 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 39,078 |
Procrastinators unite! Tomarrow.....
Owwie.... I didn't think running into the wall would hurt THAT much. (My friend ran into the wall because he's an idiot... -.-u) When life gives you lemons, make limeade. I don't discriminate, I hate everyone! I Love Everyboby (And Other Atrocious Lies) (Title of a book....) |
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