looking for an answer.. Options

[Terror]

Ok, I'm not even sure I'm supposed to be posting in this place, I dont care if you delete this topic--but I really need some answers.

Ok, first of all, since my problem is about a girl, I figured GIRLS would be most helpful, seeing as most guys are absolutely dee-dee-dee when it comes to relationships.
Ok, so to the point.
I met my ex girlfriend in 6th grade, she moved away, I continued living there for a few years, then I met her again in 8th grade.
We started going out. I realize theres alot of people arguing that 15 year old's dont know what love is, but whatever--THAT, that was love. No f**king doubt in my mind.
I fell completely for her. Absolutely and totally devoted to this one girl.
She was perfect to me, abso-f**king-lutely perfect. A few months in, I thought it would make her happy to give her a ring for our 6th month anniversary.
So, I got a job, babysat, mowed the lawn, in short, I broke my goddamn back and managed to get around 750 dollars. I went to a jewlerers, and got her the prettiest ring I could get her with 750 dollars, then I gave it to her. I like, kinda proposed half jokingly to her, like "Danielle, would you marry me?"
But then I saw her reaction, and I was actually shocked.
So we were engaged.
I bought her a necklace sometime later, (which wasn't cheap by the way)
Months passed by filled with so much love and happiness I probaly should have died then, cause I don't think I can experience uplifting joy like that ever again.
I wrote her poems every single week. Everytime we met I kissed her on the cheek.

Sex wasn't even on my mind, cuddling was enough for me.
We were perfect.
I loved her.
She loved me.
Then I found out, the day before my birthday and a few days before our one year anniversary, that she's been cheating on my, the.WHOLE.damn.time.
She's had sex with two other guys, and was messing around with a few others.
I won't delve into all the melodramatic weeks that followed, but to say the least, my world fell apart, cried for days on end, and so on.
Now, I come here, just wanting to know, was there anything I did wrong?
I mean, If I could I'd have given the world to this girl, and I tried.
I didn't even look at a girl twice for nearly a year, she was my life.

So...yeah, thats pretty much it.
And all I want to know, if theres ANYTHING you think I could've did better, or something I did wrong.
I'm just looking for answers.

-Sorry for being so long...and thanks to anyone who helps.

Then, I found out

[SarahxJoy]

You did nothing wrong.
It's her fault..for taking advantage of you and being unloyal to you.
I'm sorry about what you've been through.
I have another friend who is going through the same thing..it's hard.

When things like this happen, we sit and wonder what we did wrong.
When in actuality, it's a very realistic possibility that there was nothing done incorrectly. It's just how life is.

[jenniez618]

wow that must be really hurtful, from what i read, it doesn't seem that you did anything wrong, it was her that did something wrong, how could she do that to you? i mean you worked so hard to give her a ring and you write poems to her every week, which i think is totally cute/sweet of you to do that. my answer would be get back all the stuff you gave her and try to forget her because there's no other way.

[Terror]

Its just so unbelieveable, I mean, do you think I was a good boyfriend?

[jenniez618]

Its just so unbelieveable, I mean, do you think I was a good boyfriend?

100% i think you're a good boyfriend, you really didn't do anything wrong.

[Chii]

Judging by what you said, it seemed like you were a good boyfriend but it's only your side of the story so duh you're going to come off as a great guy.

I think it's partially your fault. Sometimes people cheat because they're looking for something their current lover can't provide. If you really were so great to her, why would she stray? It can't be entirely her fault, it takes two to tango. It's really odd to propose and be engaged when you are like 15 and that you weren't even dating for that long.

I really hate how you say, "I did this, I did that for her," as if that really says anything. A relationship takes more than buying your girlfriend pretty things, writing poems and not having a wandering eye.

Was there communication? If so, then why did you not list that as a good factor?
I don't think you paid enough attention to her. If you did you'd probably know she was playing you all along. There had to be signs of cheating, you were probably just blind to them because you were busy trying to buy her or write some poem.

[x3Death.By.Knife...]

Wow, I can definately tell you that you did NOTHING wrong.
You seem like an INCREDIBLE boyfriend, I can't believe that you even bought her a 750 dollar ring or an expensive necklace. And the fact that you didn't even think of sex, and that cuddle was enough for you.. it just blew my mind.

The only thing that went wrong in your relationship.. was your girlfriend.
She didn't even know how good she had it.

[lalalaLANUH]

Awww. Poor child.
While I feel sad for you, I find it incredibly unbelievable that she would cheat on you for no good reason. Maybe from your perspective you did everything right and you make it sound like that. I have to agree with Chii. Maybe you were being too materialistic and you weren't focusing enough on HER.

[_sarcastic_]

you sound like a really great bf to me from what i read.
she doesn't deserve someone like you, but like what chii said, did your relationship have communication cause i mean that is really important.
just forget about her.

[*This Confession*]

Wow, I can definately tell you that you did NOTHING wrong.
You seem like an INCREDIBLE boyfriend, I can't believe that you even bought her a 750 dollar ring or an expensive necklace. And the fact that you didn't even think of sex, and that cuddle was enough for you.. it just blew my mind.

The only thing that went wrong in your relationship.. was your girlfriend.
She didn't even know how good she had it.

well communication is a big thing in the relationship as well
so did you have that?

oh with the quote thing i agree with some of it
the blew my mind thing
haha.

anyway its life
everything happens for a reason
and life goes on

just go ahead the next door in life
and don't sit and stare at the past one.

sorry for what happened to you
i know what its like to have someone cheat on you..

[Terror]

Judging by what you said, it seemed like you were a good boyfriend but it's only your side of the story so duh you're going to come off as a great guy.

I think it's partially your fault. Sometimes people cheat because they're looking for something their current lover can't provide. If you really were so great to her, why would she stray? It can't be entirely her fault, it takes two to tango. It's really odd to propose and be engaged when you are like 15 and that you weren't even dating for that long.

I really hate how you say, "I did this, I did that for her," as if that really says anything. A relationship takes more than buying your girlfriend pretty things, writing poems and not having a wandering eye.

Was there communication? If so, then why did you not list that as a good factor?
I don't think you paid enough attention to her. If you did you'd probably know she was playing you all along. There had to be signs of cheating, you were probably just blind to them because you were busy trying to buy her or write some poem.

Yes we had communication. We told each other everything. If we werent together, we were talking on the fun.
We had trust. (or so I thought)
I tried to be perfect for her. I really really did.
Just wasn't enough I guess. =\


EDIT.

And I'm not just trying to make myself come off as some super good boyfriendl, I'm just telling you guys what happened. Thats the truth.

[*This Confession*]

Yes we had communication. We told each other everything. If we werent together, we were talking on the fun.
We had trust. (or so I thought)
I tried to be perfect for her. I really really did.
Just wasn't enough I guess. =\
EDIT.

And I'm not just trying to make myself come off as some super good boyfriendl, I'm just telling you guys what happened. Thats the truth.

well like i said
or i think i did
you need to move on..
even if it hurts to know what happend
you look at something that makes you happy
and move on.

[Terror]

Awww. Poor child.
While I feel sad for you, I find it incredibly unbelievable that she would cheat on you for no good reason. Maybe from your perspective you did everything right and you make it sound like that. I have to agree with Chii. Maybe you were being too materialistic and you weren't focusing enough on HER.

Hmm. I'm not sure how to express to you guys, but I was focused on her. completely.
I loved making her happy. If she wasnt happy, I wasnt happy. I called her all the time to check up on her.
And again...
I'm not making myself out to be some super-boyfriend, I'm just saying we made each other happy. We talked to each other. We loved each other.
But...I must have went wrong somewhere. =\

well like i said
or i think i did
you need to move on..
even if it hurts to know what happend
you look at something that makes you happy
and move on.

I'm finding that VERRRRRY hard. =[
overall, my confidence is currently non-existance.
I don't feel like I'll EVER get a girl again.
I dunno.
=\

[*This Confession*]

I'm finding that VERRRRRY hard. =[
overall, my confidence is currently non-existance.
I don't feel like I'll EVER get a girl again.
I dunno.
=\

you say that now.
Give it time and you'll be back dating again
or liking someone new.
don't lose hope

breakups aren't the end of the world

[Terror]

well..
I DO like other people, but I have no confidence. at all.
cause, my logic is: if our whole relationship was a lie, then all the times she called me good-looking, hot, sexy, etc, THAT must have been total bullshit.
It may be unreasonable thinking but...thats just how I feel.

[*This Confession*]

you should never think down about yourself like that.

[Terror]

too late?

[misoshiru]

Well, if she cheated on you, don't take her back. And god, she did cheated on you with 2 guys. No matter how much you love her, you have to get over her. And, by the way, demand for your jewelry back. She doesn't deserve it.

[Your pain is not...]

I feel so sorry for you. I kind of want to cry reading that heh.

I agree with what Chii(?) said about communication. But obviously she wouldn't really absorb anything anyway.

I understand that you probably feel betrayed, torn, used, etc. But you know, it's only that one girl's fault, not yours. You didn't do anything wrong. YOu sound like a very sweet, devoting guy. You must move on, forget about that girl and turn your attention to someone else. But I think you should be close friends with girls first and decide then. Look for her hints. If you're not confident enough, wait for her to like you as much/more than you. I'm sure there are many worthy girls out there.
Good Luck, dear. :]

[xCrys]

^ Took the words right out of my mouth...

You were such a sweet-heart! I can't believe she'd do that to you... I say we burn her >.> Sorry, pardon me... I know it's gonna take awhile for you to get over her... But it's for the best, you didn't deserve that...

[xmy_sweet_reveng...]

Hey, as much as i can see there you did nothing wrong to deserve that, you went max out and tried to do everything you could to please her, she really shouldnt have done that too you, it was cold hearted and basicly just wrong. i know it would be hard for you to get over because of everything, but try your best. you dont need someone like that =)

[*mipadi*]

I think it's partially your fault. Sometimes people cheat because they're looking for something their current lover can't provide. If you really were so great to her, why would she stray? It can't be entirely her fault, it takes two to tango. It's really odd to propose and be engaged when you are like 15 and that you weren't even dating for that long.

That's a bit harsh. Some people are just jerks. Sometimes they cheat for no good reason. Sometimes they do bad things for no good reason. I'm not saying the other party in such a situation is never at fault, but I don't think it's fair to throw the blame right back on him. Maybe his girlfriend was just a jerk.

Of course, it's not fair to immediately villify her, either. Sometimes good people make mistakes, such as cheating, too.

[Terror]

thanks guys...but come on, cheating on me 4+ times? I mean,...you can only use the excuse of "good people make mistakes" for, i dont know, maybe the first time?

EDIt.

and thanks everyone for all the help...but I really don't know If I CAN get over this.
I know you probaly think I can get over it, its just some girl, right?
But like, I feel...idk, not alive. I feel emotionless, like I'm just drifting now.

I really hope I can find a girl who can restore my belief that there ARE faithful and loving girls out there.

Cause, my last GF did something similar to what my ex did.
I'm pretty convinced the female race was made solely to f**k me over.

[*Uronacid*]

im going to tell you what i told my friend anthony... he had been dating his girl friend for a very long time (four years) and also talked about marraige. When he found out his girl had been in another relationship he was completly devastated... Even i can relate to you, i ahd a girl friend that i spent lots of time and money on... i dated her for 1 and 1/2 years and she cheated on me too... i was devastated, and i dont want you to go through the same sh*t as i did.

helping yourself get over it: Talk with someone about it. Tell your parents about it, if they are loving parents (its sounds like they must be... you have had a very good example of how to be a loving person in a relationship) they will support you and care about you... ! whoever it is that you tell, tell them everything... tell them how you feel and why you feel that way and what you feel like doing about it and why you feel like doing those things. Be open and honest and don't keep anything inside. Keeping things inside will only lead you to have deep rooted emotional issues.
Learn from what has happened, don't turn it into something that will effect you for the rest of your life. Realize that this girl isn't a normal/good person, and not everyone is like that. People generally treat you the way they need to be treated... this may seem harsh, but that wench doesn't need someone who will treat her as nice as you treated her. She needs someone to treat her the way she treated you before she will ever realized what she did, but thats not your job.There are other people out there that will allow you to treat them the way you treated her and not take advantage of you for it.
yeha i guess i hear you when you tlak about not thinking anyone else will ever be as good as she was... i know that feeling real well, i loved my first girlfriend... but i love my current one even more... when i broke up with sierra i went through 2 other realtionships... and the entire time i compared them to my relationship with sierra... it was horrible... i finnaly decided to wait until someone just came along... finnally someone did, and im so fickin happy... there are other girls out there that will make you feel so much more loved than she ever did. i know you don't feel that way now (becuase you ahve been badly hurt), but their out there... you just have to be pacient :)

good luck man... i hope what i say helps :)

[iROCKYOURSOCKS]

dude you seemed like the perfect boyfriend any gurl can ask for but at the same time you seem like you were a very obsessed guy and that might have been the problem. im not saying she goes scot free because she should not have been cheating on you but you always got to give your partner some space. you might feel emotionless right now but nothing lasts forever. things will get better and when you find the perfect gurl you will see that she does not need expensive gifts from you to be happy she will just need you and that is it. When i hecka liked this guy and he liked me back he would get me anything but all i wanted from him was HIM. believe me when you find that great gurl in your life your ex-girlfriend will be coming back. BUT DONT TAKE HER BACK! you really deserve much better dear and dont be suffering over her because she is not worth your tears.